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As a result, violent gangs and secret societies formed and grew. Serious crime spread. The rebels not only destroyed the tracks and sabotaged the rolling stock but also raided churches and took missionaries as hostages. The situation became so dire that even Li Hung-chang could no longer contain it. Signs posted on city gates threatened to hang the "rice Christians"-the locals who converted to obtain needed food.

I was in the middle of a dream. I was watching my mother getting dressed in the morning. Her bedroom faced Lake Wuhu and had a large window. Sunlight splashed on the woodcarvings and over the floral-patterned window panels. The small bamboo and golden trumpet trees in her room were green even in winter.

Mother stretched like a cat, her long, bare arms extended over her head. She ran her fingers through her silky black hair. Pulling on a peach-colored cotton shirt over her head, she smoothed it down. She took her time buttoning the shirt, and then she turned around and looked at me.

"My daughter had a good night's sleep, I can tell," she said. "You are the prettiest girl in Wuhu, Orchid."

I laid my head on her pillow and buried my face in her sheets to smell her scent.

I had the same dream the following morning. It was when my mother's fingers softly touched my cheeks that I woke up.

There was a loud noise in the hallway. Something heavy fell to the floor. It was followed by a eunuch's ear-piercing cry.

I sat up, still in a fog. Then the image of the dead Queen Min flashed before my mind. I pulled open my curtains.

Yung Lu, in full uniform and with a sword in his hand, rushed toward me.

I thought I was still dreaming.

Before he could reach me, Li Lien-ying jumped him from behind. The eunuch's weight pulled Yung Lu down along with the bed curtains.

In one motion Yung Lu pinned Li Lien-ying to the ground like a bug.

"Assassins, my lady!" Li Lien-ying screamed.

I froze, unsure of what was happening.

Yung Lu ordered his men to search the entire palace. "Every moving object, human and animal! Every tree and bush!"

My hands were shaking and I could not find my clothes. All my attendants were down on their knees on the floor. I reached for a sheet and wrapped myself in it.

Several of Yung Lu's men entered and told him that all was clear.

"Give me a moment to dress, will you?" I asked when I could finally speak.

Yung Lu pointed at a chair and said, "Please, I need you to conduct a private audience, right here, right away."

Dragging my sheet, I went to sit down. I felt like a big moth inside a broken cocoon.

On his knees Li Lien-ying collected my clothes. Holding his stomach with one hand, with the other he spread a coat over my bare shoulders.

"I'll let Yuan Shih-kai tell you what happened," Yung Lu said, sheathing his sword.

"Yuan Shih-kai?" I thought the young general was in Tientsin, commanding the New Army and preparing for a royal inspection.

"Your Majesty, Yuan Shih-kai was sent by your son to collect your head."

35

His Majesty summoned me on September 14," General Yuan Shih-kai began. He stood erect in full dress uniform, his head shaved, his neck muscles taut. His voice was clear but "Emperor Guang-hsu asked about my record in Korea and my use of Western military tactics. I said that during my twelve years stationed in Korea, I had learned much but not enough. His Majesty wanted to know my troop strength in comparison to Yung Lu's. I answered that I had seven thousand and Yung Lu more than a hundred thousand."

I glanced at Yung Lu, whose expression was grave. I turned back to Yuan Shih-kai and asked, "What was the Emperor's response?"

"His Majesty asked if my men were better armed and trained." Yuan Shih-kai paused.

"Keep going," Yung Lu ordered.

"Yes, sir. On September 16, His Majesty summoned me again," Yuan continued. "I was honored with a promotion: vice minister of the Board of War and National Security. I was surprised, for I had done nothing to deserve it. I knew that His Majesty had been impatient about implementing his reform plans and that he had met strong opposition at the court. I had been approached by Prince Ts'eng and his Ironhat sons. They wanted to join forces with me and asked me to train their Moslem troops. I figured that His Majesty meant to prepare me to fight his opposition."

"Yuan Shih-kai was summoned one more time," Yung Lu said, trying to speed the general along.

"That's right," Yuan Shih-kai went on. "It was three days after our first meeting, the morning of September 17."

I remembered that the seventeenth was the day when Guang-hsu and I had our biggest fight. I told my son that he would have to kill me before I would agree to do either of two things: one, surrender to Japan; and two, surrender my power at Kang Yu-wei's request. It seemed that our fighting had pushed Guang-hsu to the other side.

"His Majesty asked if I understood my power," Yuan Shih-kai said. "I said that I was a bit confused. His Majesty said, 'Your new title means that you and Yung Lu are to operate independently.' I begged him to explain further, and he said, 'From now on, you take orders directly from me.' At that point I was truly lost, because it had been my duty to take orders from no one but Yung Lu."

Yung Lu cut in: "Late the same night, Kang Yu-wei's right-hand man, Tan Shih-tung, visited Yuan Shih-kai. He claimed that he represented the 'Throne Party.'"

"That's right," Yuan Shih-kai said. "I knew Tan was the son of the governor of Hupeh. There was a reason he woke me at two o'clock in the morning. He told me that the Emperor was in great danger and that I must go and rescue him. I was ordered by the Emperor to return to Tientsin immediately. I was to call up my troops and return to Peking to suppress the enemy. Tan specifically said that the Emperor wanted me to eliminate two people…" Yuan tried to steady his quavering voice.

"Was I one of the two?" I asked.

Yuan Shih-kai looked at me. His face was solemn. "Yes."

"And the other?" I asked.

Yuan Shih-kai looked down, then turned to Yung Lu. "I see." I nodded.

Yung Lu stood expressionless, like a bronze statue.

"I…" Yuan Shih-kai made an effort to finish his sentence. "…was asked to collect both of your heads." He fell to his knees and kowtowed, knocking his forehead on the ground.

"Rise, Yuan Shih-kai," I said and felt my mouth stiffen.

"Tell Her Majesty how you asked Tan for proof of the authenticity of the edict." Again Yung Lu tried to hurry him along.

"Yes, of course." Yuan Shih-kai rose. "I demanded that Tan show me the Emperor's signed edict. Tan said he couldn't. He said that the evidence had to be hidden. He said the situation was reaching a critical moment and Emperor Guang-hsu's life was in danger."

"Did you believe him?" I asked.

"Believe or disbelieve, I couldn't risk it either way. But I did let Tan know that His Majesty and I had met that very morning, and His Majesty mentioned nothing of a coup. Tan became upset and said that 'things had changed' and that 'His Majesty's life hadn't been threatened until the afternoon.' I asked for witnesses, and he gave me a list of names to contact. Among them were Secretary of the Supreme Court Yang, Chief Judge Lin, Chief General Liu and Kuang-jen, Kang Yu-wei's brother."

"When did you learn that the Emperor wanted you to murder me?" I asked. I was losing all sense of the connections, the logic between events. A feeling of shock began to overtake me. I kept hearing the cries of the four-year-old Guang-hsu, and my mind flashed back to the scene of the night when Yung Lu had brought him to the Forbidden City.

"Tan said that he wasn't able to produce the actual edict," Yuan Shih-kai replied. "Anyway, Tan told me that His Majesty had ordered 'to put to death anyone who dared use his or her power and influence to block reform from moving forward.' When I told Tan that I would not bite the hand that fed me, he said that all I had to do was provide an opportunity. He wanted me to take him inside the Summer Palace. These were Tan's words: 'I will slash the Dowager Empress's throat myself.' He opened his shirt to show me a foot-long knife he was carrying."