The Last Fix [En liten gyllen ring no]

'Ifit was…' Sigrid spun round. 'Why should she be killed? Can you tell me that?Was that meant to be as well?'

'Idon't know,' the policeman said, looking into her eyes. 'I have no idea. Butthe important thing is that you met, that you had the chance to love her.'

Sigridlooked away. 'You may be right,' she said. 'But that will never be enough.' Shepaused. 'I thought that, too,' she continued at last. 'Katrine… when I firstsaw her in Vinterhagen after all these years… it was as though Helene wasstanding there. I knew she had to be Helenas daughter from the very firstmoment.' Sigrid raised a faint, dreamy smile. 'The same wonderful blonde hair,'she whispered. 'Helene's mouth, her body, her voice. I instantly knew who shewas, and I did wonder in fact if she and I were meant… But why should she bekilled?'

Sigrid'sfacial expression was genuinely questioning.

'Whywere you never interviewed for the murder of Helene?' the policeman repeatedwithout the slightest intention of capitulating.

'Idon't know,' she said, drained. 'Maybe Reidar never said anything about me.'

'ReidarBueng? He mentioned your name. There must have been some other reason Kriposcrossed you off their list.'

'Iwas in Scotland. In Edinburgh.'

'InScotland?'

'Officially.'

Gunnarstrandasmiled with curiosity. 'Tell me more,' he said.

'Atlast something you didn't know. I'm a qualified engineer, a chemical engineer.'

'Ithought you were a qualified social worker.'

'That,too. But I took chemistry at university in Edinburgh after my school-leavingexams. Engineering courses were the thing at that time.

UnfortunatelyI didn't go into a job straight afterwards. When I was about to do so, afterbeing a housewife for almost twenty years, my subject had changed and I hadn'tkept up. So I tried a different job. One that was about giving, repairing. Willyou promise to go if I tell you what happened'

Gunnarstrandasent her an old-fashioned look.

'Alwaystrue to yourself, eh. Upright. Promise nothing. The apostle for the ordinaryman.' Her •smile was bitter. 'I went home on a stand-by ticket. It was supposedto be a surprise. In fact it is quite a banal story. I went straight toReidar's place. I wanted to surprise him and thought there would be no one athome. But there was. In the bedroom. He was underneath her. My best friend. Doyou think that's stimulating? Men can find that kind of thing stimulating. Ithought it was loathsome. I could hear the noises arid stood there like anintruder watching while she… do you understand? With my boyfriend. There's notmuch more to say.'

'Didyou go into the room? To the two of them?'

'Areyou mad? No. I went to her place. I waited for her. I knew she wouldn't belong. After all, she'd left her child in the playpen while she…'

'Soyou just waited for her?'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'BecauseI wanted her dead, of course.'

'Couldn'tthat have been avoided? Her dying?'

'Idon't know… maybe if I'd been different, with a different view on… on things.'

'Didyou talk?'

'Ofcourse.'

'Butwhy did you kill her?'

'Becauseshe was my best friend.'

'Yes…?'

'Mybest friend. Don't you understand?' Sigrid gave a tired smile. 'Of course youdon't understand. I don't have much of a defence. I know myself…'

'Whendid you leave the dead woman?'

'Whenshe was quite still. She didn't make a sound. She had screamed out all thesound she possessed with him. And that made me furious that she had no soundleft for me.'

'Andthen what did you do?'

'Wentback to Scotland. The same day. On stand-by.'

'Younever heard anything from the police?'

'Never.'

'Sono one knew you were in the country?'

'Noone.'

'DidKatrine know any of this?'

'No,'Sigrid said.

'Butshe rang you and told you she had found the name of her mother. That was whatshe actually told you in that call on the Saturday, wasn't it?'

Sigridgave a heavy nod.

'Wasit she who told you that Bueng was living at the nursing home?'

Sigridshook her head. 'No, Katrine knew nothing about Reidar Bueng. She knew nothingabout me. It was a shock. It was a terrible conversation. I thought I wouldhave a heart attack when she told me what she had discovered. I knew whereReidar was. I've known where he is every single day since the day it happened.'

'Whatdid you want from him? When you met him at the home the day after Katrinerang?'

'Iwanted to be sure Reidar didn't tell her about me, I mean the relationshipbetween Helene and me. I knew it was only a question of time before Katrinewould find him. If she found her way to Reidar, sooner or later my name wouldcrop up. It would be catastrophic for us both. I had to talk to Reidar first. Ihad to make sure he said nothing to Katrine about me.'

'Doyou think Bueng knew you killed Helene?'

'Ofcourse.'

'Buthe never gave you away?'

'Never.'

'Hedidn't say anything to me, either. Do you still love Reidar Bueng?'

Shelaughed the same chilling laugh and sneered again. 'Do you still love him,'she mimicked with a biting tone. 'You ridiculous starched hypocrite.' Sheclenched her fists. 'What are you actually asking? What the hell do you mean bythat question? Are you wondering whether I miss being with an old man who cannotwalk unaided? Whether I miss physical contact with this man?'

'I'mwondering whether you love him,' the policemen repeated as unshakable asbefore.

Theystood eyeing each other until she said: 'What does it matter? I've destroyed mylife. I've lived half my life with a person who regards love as a muscularactivity, like an exchange of body fluids.'

Shegazed at the ceiling and gave a deep sigh. 'You know, I have no idea whether Iloved Reidar or not. I haven't a clue. I have no illusions about love anylonger. But I think I used to believe in it, at that time. It felt like beingdown for the count… did you, in your younger days, drink too much or were youso ill that you wished you were dead just to escape? That's how it was. But ahangover is soon over. Intoxication passes. In those days nothing just passed.I could go for long walks in the evening until I found a deserted place where Icould stick pins or needles in myself and scream in an attempt to escape theplight that was mine… that was love. But now? I have no idea any more. I don'tknow what has any meaning. But if there is a worst part to all of this, it isnot being able to remember that side of myself I used to regard as my mostprecious.' Sigrid clenched her teeth and hissed with spittle in both corners ofher mouth. 'The only thing that never fades, the only truth left is that Ihated Helene!'

'Asmuch today as then?'

'Thereyou go again,' she sighed, exhaling with her eyes closed. 'Sometimes, yes. As arule, no.'

'It won'twork,' Gunnarstranda said out of the blue.

'Whatwon't work?'

'Youwon't be able to pass your resentment and bitterness on to dead Helene.'

'Whatdo you mean?'

'Ithink your hatred and bitterness are reserved for another person.'

Sigridshook her head slowly.

'You'vetold this story before, haven't you, Sigrid?'

Sigrideyed him, on her guard. 'Why are we on such intimate terms all of a sudden?What do you want now?' she asked, but quickly closed her mouth again as ifanxious not to say too much.

'Iknow who killed Katrine,' the policeman said in a quiet voice. 'And so do you.'

Thesun shone on her silver-grey hair. 'I have no idea what you are talking about.Apart from that, my head hurts. You'd better go.'

'Katrinerang you that Saturday,' Gunnarstranda said, taking a step closer. 'She toldyou about Stamnes. She told you about her mother's true identity and aboutRaymond Skau, who had turned up at her workplace demanding money. I appreciateit must have been a shock, but you should never have told anyone else. When youtold him you signed her death warrant. You knew that, didn't you.'

Sigridhad closed her eyes. 'I didn't know. I went to see Reidar on Sunday to preparehim for Katrine. It would never have occurred to me that she was dead.'