“There’s nowhere he can’t go,” Triste replied quietly.
They fell silent. There was nothing to say. Half of Kaden’s life had been given over to the stamping out of desire. It had almost worked. When Pyrre first brought them to Rassambur, he’d been ready to give up his life, to step outside himself once and for all. It would have been easy, then, to do what needed doing, and yet he’d seen no point in the obviate then. Now, finally, he understood what was at stake. The only way to understand it was to feel the love, and the pain that came with that love.
“I want to be with you,” Triste said, pulling him close, so tight it was a struggle to breathe. “When we do it, I want to be right beside you.”
It. She didn’t say the word. She didn’t need to.
Kaden nodded. For the first time since his childhood, he was crying.
* * *
In the small, quiet hour before dawn, Kaden woke to find Pyrre standing at the foot of the bed. He wrapped an arm tighter around Triste, who murmured something in her sleep, shifted beneath the blanket to press her body against his, but did not wake. How long the assassin had been standing there, Kaden had no idea. She was smiling-not the habitual wry smile that she usually wore, but something older, more honest.
“It is a truth most people refuse,” she said quietly, “but there is peace in Ananshael’s shadow.” She nodded to Triste’s sleeping form. “Joy.”
Kaden started to object, but found he had no objection. The assassin was right. Rassambur, his imprisonment, the daily threat of death, had led to this: the long softness of the blue-black nights, shared warmth beneath old blankets, his breath and Triste’s intermingled, even as they slept. Even Meshkent had fallen almost silent, as though the god himself understood the uselessness of all struggle here, in the heart of Ananshael’s dominion.
“Has Gerra decided?” Kaden asked.
Pyrre nodded thoughtfully. “In a manner of speaking.”
“Meaning?”
“You will see.”
“I would have thought we were past the games.”
The assassin’s smile widened. “And I would have thought you understood by now that without the games, there is no life.” She gestured toward Triste. “Wake her slowly, if you like, in your own way.…” She cocked her head at that, arched an eyebrow, ran her tongue over her teeth. “But be at Ananshael’s Scale as the sun rises.”
When they reached the rim of the mesa, Gerra was still on the scale, still lying down, much as he had been when they first arrived. The last of the stars spangled the western sky, but though Triste shivered at his side, Kaden could already feel the air warming behind them. He glanced over his shoulder, squinting against the watery glow. In moments, the hot rim of the sun would crest the eastern peaks, but for now, the air was a smear of pink light, something ripening, but not yet ripe.
“I have prayed,” Gerra said without opening his eyes. “I vowed to the god that I would remain on his scale for a week after your arrival, and I have remained on it for the full week, fasting, praying.”
Triste shook her head. “Why?”
Gerra sat up slowly, stretched his neck, rolled his shoulders forward, then back. “If the god gathered me to himself,” he said finally, looking from Kaden to Triste, “it would have been a sign.”
“A sign of what?” Kaden asked.
“Of the way forward. I opened my heart to Ananshael, showed the god my intention to offer you into his hands. If he didn’t want my offering”-he jerked a thumb over his shoulder-“all he needed to do was drop me off the cliff.” The priest glanced around himself, raised his brows as though just now noticing he was still alive. “This, he has not done.”
Kaden’s gut tightened.
“That’s insane,” Triste hissed. “You would be dead.”
Gerra shrugged. “Sometimes it falls to others to interpret signs.”
“And now?” Kaden asked carefully, studying the man’s face.
Gerra stood, bent at the waist, exhaled his slow satisfaction as he stretched his back and legs, then straightened once more.
“The god has spoken in a way I did not expect.” He waved the prisoners forward, waiting until Kaden and Triste stood at the verge of the cliff, then pointed to the barrel on the far platform. It was leaking, Kaden realized, the wood beneath the plug soaked with water. He glanced up at the crosspiece of the scale, which tilted slightly toward the priest. Soon, maybe in moments, the plug of rock salt would dissolve, the water would drain from the barrel, and the platform on which the priest stood would plummet to the canyon floor. Gerra seemed utterly unconcerned. “The week is done, and the god did not claim me, but this”-he gestured toward the leaking water-“it makes me think. I will not give you to the god myself. Instead, you will weight the scale, both of you, from the sun’s rising until it sets-ample time, I should think, for Ananshael to do whatever it is he wants to do with you.”
* * *
The first hour was the hardest. It was one thing to live beneath the vague threat of Skullsworn violence, another to sit on creaking boards hundreds of feet above the canyon floor, to wait while the wind tangled in the fraying ropes, water dripped from the barrel opposite, and slowly, horribly, by interminable degrees, the whole scale tipped toward the abyss. Kaden’s body screamed at him to flee, but there was nowhere to go. Gerra and Pyrre sat a few dozen paces away, on the solid ground of the mesa. Neither had so much as drawn a knife, but Gerra had been clear: if either Kaden or Triste tried to escape the scale before sunset, it would mean death for both.
And so they sat, waited, watching the water draining slowly away.
It seemed important, at first, to remain at the platform’s very center, to stay perfectly still, and for a long time they remained like that, like statuary, not speaking, barely daring to breathe. It wasn’t until noon that Triste finally shook her head.
“To ’Shael with this,” she said. Her voice was dry, dusty, angry.
Kaden raised his brow.
“We can’t leave,” he murmured. “We can’t fight them.”
“I know that. It doesn’t mean we need to wait like terrified sheep.”
“Is there another way to wait?”
“I don’t know,” she said, twisting away, “but if these are going to be our last moments, I’d like to live them.”
To his surprise, Kaden found himself nodding.
“Look,” Triste said, shifting her weight until she sat at the very edge of the wooden planks, legs dangling out over the void. “There are worse places to die.”
Kaden joined her at the edge. It felt like sitting atop the Talon as the wind tugged at his robe, threatening to dash him from his perch. He’d spent so many days on cliffsides and the tops of spires. At the monastery, however, he had always been alone, sitting or laboring in solitude. He couldn’t say why having a body beside him mattered so much. According to everything the Shin had told him, it shouldn’t have. It shouldn’t have, but it did. He wrapped an arm around Triste’s waist, then glanced back over his shoulder.
“Can we have some rocks?”
Pyrre blinked. “Rocks? You are suddenly so eager to meet the god?”
“Not big rocks,” Kaden said, gesturing to the gravel at the mesa’s edge. “Just some of that.”
When the assassin had deposited a large pile at the edge of the scale, Kaden turned back to Triste. “I used to do this as a novice,” he said, hefting one of the stones in his hand, testing the weight. “We were supposed to be meditating, but I got bored of that. Throwing stones helped pass the time.”
The platform lurched as he launched the stone out into space. He ignored the motion, watching the rock trace its slow arc down through the warm, empty air of the canyon. Triste stared at it, then pulled herself free of his embrace. “You think you can throw?” she asked, turning to take up a stone of her own. “Watch this.”
All afternoon they hurled stones, traded taunts and jokes. All afternoon the barrel’s water drained silently away. When the sun dropped behind the mountains to the west, when he stepped from the swaying scale to solid ground, Kaden almost felt regret. Triste was right, it would have been a good place to die, better than whatever faced them.