"On what grounds do you demand the renascence?" Disin asked, her voice deceptively soft.
Milo pointed at me. "The Court has been compromised. A non-member mortal holds the title of virtue, which is against the laws to which the hierarchy of the Court is bound."
"Portia is not yet a virtue," Theo argued, his arm sliding around my waist. I leaned into him, more than a little sick that everything had spiraled so far out of control. That I could be used as an excuse for the overthrow of the Court was unthinkable…wasn't it? "She will not claim that title until she completes the seventh trial."
"Which I am certainly not going to do now," I added.
Milo smiled. It wasn't a nice smile.
Uh-oh. What's he smiling about?
I have a bad feeling it's about something Terrin was about to tell me when you showed up with Carol in tow.
"You are unfamiliar with our laws, nephilim. When a renascence is called, all scheduled business is completed before the Court is disbanded and remade."
My stomach tightened into a small wad of unhappiness.
"The seventh and final trial of the mortal Portia Harding is scheduled for today, if I am not mistaken," Milo continued. "Once she has completed it, the grounds for renascence will be satisfied, and by the laws that govern the Court, it must be destroyed before reformation."
"Well then, I simply won't do the seventh trial," I told him, relief filling me at this easy way out of the situation.
"You cannot stop the trial from commencing," Milo said. "As it is scheduled, it must be enacted."
"Fine. Enact away. I will simply do the opposite of whatever it is. Er…what is the seventh trial?"
"Faith," Terrin answered, his eyes unreadable. "It is a trial of your faith."
I laughed without the slightest shred of mirth. "Displaying a lack of faith is not going to be difficult for me." I turned to the mare to explain, wanting to make sure they understood that my feelings were grounded in a lifelong battle rather than a slight against the Court itself. "I grew up in a religious cult, one that required its members to show absolute, unbreakable faith in the leaders and religion itself. Anyone questioning the religion was severely punished. I believe I spent more time during my childhood locked in a closet, ordered to examine my sins and renounce my disbeliefs, than I did out of it. Faith is not a commodity I have in abundance. Because of this, I can just about guarantee you that I will fail the seventh trial."
"If you do so, then you throw away all chances of an exculpation for Theo North," Milo pointed out. "He will never be a member of the Court of Divine Blood. He will remain a nephilim, an outcast, tainted by the sins of his father, for the rest of his life. He will never have a soul."
I opened my mouth to say that we'd be just fine without Theo being a member of the Court, but stopped, stunned at Milo's words.
What was that about a soul?
Theo's sigh echoed through my mind. I wasn't going to tell you this, since it puts more pressure on you to obtain my exculpation, but members of the Court of Divine Blood cannot be soulless. If a member lacks one, it is granted when the membership is made official.
You knew this and you didn't tell me? I wanted to whap Theo on the arm, but now was not the time. Well, this makes everything so much easier. Instead of waiting around for an opportunity for me to make some big sacrifice on your behalf, I can get your soul back just by becoming a recognized virtue!
It's not quite that simple, sweetling, he said, his thoughts rich with emotion.
Theo, I know what it means to you—
No. You know what it meant to me. That was before I found you, before our lives were bound together. An exculpation is no longer as desirable as is a future with you, my love.
The world as I knew it rocked, shifted slightly, and settled back, but it was changed. I was changed. I stared at Theo, stunned by his words, by the feelings he had shared with me. My mind struggled to cope with the revelation he laid open for me—it was as if I'd spent my whole life waiting for that exact moment in time, the moment when I knew what it was to truly be loved above all else…and the knowledge that I would literally move heaven and earth for the man standing next to me.
That is, without the slightest doubt, the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I just can't believe how much I love you, Theo.
As much as five to the tenth power? he teased.
Oh no, my darling, my love for you can only be described in terms of equations containing complex numbers. My tone was light, but I shook with emotion as, deep in the back of my mind, an idea was born.
"It would be within Portia Harding's rights to refuse to participate in the seventh trial," Disin said after a brief consultation with the other mare. "Furthermore, we feel it important to point out that even if she does successfully complete the trial and is accepted as a member of the Court, any exculpation she seeks is not automatically granted."
I gathered my wits together and tried to regain control of myself. We still have the Beloved path of soul redemption. How would you feel if I ditched the virtue business? Could we get along just fine without the Court?
More than fine, he answered, and allowed me to see the truth in his words. It's you I want, Portia. Not reparation, not even my soul, is as important as a life with you.
My knees turned to jelly under the look he gave me. I didn't think it was possible, but I fell even more in love with him. I knew then what Irina had meant about being lost. Theo had shown me the path that I needed to take.
I looked at Milo. "Theo has decided not to pursue his exculpation. I will pass on the position of virtue. The seventh trial will be conducted without my participation, and given my failure, I assume I'll be booted out of the program."
Suria and Disin nodded.
"So nice try, Milo, but your little scheme to use us for your own evil plans isn't going to fly."
Milo's laughter rolled with sickening intensity down the length of the ballroom. "You have chosen not to pursue exculpation…do you hold Theo's soul in so little value?"
"On the contrary, I'd do just about anything to retrieve it…just about anything, but not this."
Milo stopped before us, his head tipped to the side as he looked at me. "Consider this, Beloved…you have completed the seven steps of Joining, but you have yet to finalize it by making a sacrifice. You look surprised that I am so familiar with the rules governing Dark Ones, but this plan has been a long time in the making. Do you think I would go to the trouble of arranging for Bael to curse Theo if it was not important to gain leverage for just such a situation as this?"
"You bastard," I screamed, lunging forward to throttle him. Only Theo's restraining hold kept me from strangling Milo…that and the sense of calmness and love he poured into me. "You planned this?"
"Of course. The downfall and subsequent complete restructuring of the Court is not something to be undertaken without some thought."
"Well then, you've gone through a whole lot of trouble for nothing," I spat, still wanting badly to attack him for what he'd done to us. "There is another way for me to get Theo's soul back. I will not become a virtue."
Milo heaved a mock sigh. "You still don't understand, do you? Even if you refuse to become a member, thereby saving the Court, you will have damned Theo to an eternity without his soul."
"I'm his Beloved. All I have to do is make a sacrifice on his behalf, and I'll get it back—" I started to say.
"Exactly." Milo smiled, and my stomach turned over. "You see it at last. You can save the Court of Divine Blood, or you can save Theo's soul—but only the act of sacrificing the former will grant the latter."