So she had related everything. It had taken some hours. She was interrupted from time to time with questions from the other White. Dyara and Rian were listening through a link to Juran.
When she finally finished, Juran had spoken of the gods’ punishment and asked if she was willing to accept it.
“For myself, I am,” she had told him. “But I find it hard to accept that the Siyee are being punished for my actions.”
:You should have thought of the possible consequences to the Siyee before you disobeyed the gods, Dyara had said.
“I would never have guessed the gods would be so, so... would make such a decision,” Auraya answered.
:You still question the gods’ wisdom, Rian said.
“Yes,” she replied. He had made several such lofty comments. “If the ability to question was not a requirement of being a White, the gods would not have chosen me. And it certainly would have reduced the candidates at Choosing Ceremonies.”
Auraya remembered seeing Mairae smile at that, but when Juran had turned in her direction she had schooled her expression to one of stern disapproval. That was when I realized they all felt they must behave as if I were a disgraced child. That they must quash any sympathy they felt, whether for me or for my decisions.
:Those worthy of serving the gods are few, Rian had said next.
She had winced at that. I know I have been a fool, she thought. I don’t regret it, since the only other option was to be a hypocrite and a murderer. I only wish being a fool hadn’t had such an impact on the Siyee. I would do anything to make up for that.
Juran had stepped in then, saying that they should endeavor to cooperate and avoid unnecessary conflict. That matters should return to how they had been before. Mairae had looked at him with an expression of sadness and pity.
“I doubt matters will ever be the way they were before,” she had murmured.
Auraya wondered who Mairae had been referring to. Herself, perhaps? Had the gods’ decisions caused another White to question? Or was Mairae referring to all the White? Or just me.
She obviously wasn’t referring to the Siyee. Nobody seemed at all concerned about the sky people. When Juran had finally ushered Auraya from his room, she had turned back and asked him if he wanted to learn Mirar’s healing Gift. He had shaken his head as if the idea appalled him.
A faint sigh of air drew Auraya’s attention back to the Altar. The five sides were beginning to hinge open. She felt her heart stop, then begin racing.
I am about to take an enormous risk, she thought. I might lose everything. But as Mairae had said, matters would never be the same. I have already lost a great deal. If I lose the rest, I’ll just have to accept that.
Hurried footsteps echoed in the Dome. She turned to see Juran and Mairae striding toward her. Turning away, Auraya walked up to the Altar’s table and sat in her chair.
“What have you called us here for?” Juran demanded as he reached the Altar.
“I have a question to ask the gods,” she replied, meeting his eyes. “One that you may wish to hear the answer to.”
He stared at her, clearly annoyed that she had called a meeting without consulting him first. “Which is?”
“You will hear it just as soon as you begin the rite, and the gods appear.”
He hesitated, then Mairae put a hand on his shoulder.
“Go on. I doubt we’ll get it out of her any other way.”
Sighing, Juran took his place. Mairae slid gracefully into her chair, her eyes aglow with curiosity.
“You’re certainly keeping us entertained, Auraya,” she said approvingly, in a near whisper.
Auraya managed a smile. She looked at Juran expectantly. He sighed again, then closed his eyes.
“Chaia, Huan, Lore, Yranna, Saru,” he intoned. “Once again, we thank you for the peace you brought to Northern Ithania and the Gifts that have allowed us to keep it. We thank you for your wisdom and guidance.”
“We thank you,” Auraya murmured along with Mairae. She concentrated on the magic around the Altar, but felt no sign of the gods.
“Auraya wishes to ask of you a question. If you will allow her an answer, please appear before us.”
“Guide us,” she murmured.
Juran opened his eyes and leaned back in his chair. Meeting his gaze, she saw disbelief in them. He did not expect the gods to respond. But as she stared back at him she felt presences at the edge of her senses. They moved toward her.
Five glowing figures slowly appeared around the Altar. Chaia appeared beside Juran. He looked at her and smiled, but then his smile faded as he saw what was in her mind.
:What is your question, Auraya?
Huan had spoken. Auraya felt a sudden trepidation. This was the goddess she had defied. This was also the one who demanded unquestioning obedience.
Forcing herself to face Huan, Auraya gathered her courage.
“Will you allow me to resign from my position as White?”
Juran gasped and Mairae drew in a sharp breath.
“No, Auraya!” Juran said. “That is not necessary.”
“We were all a bit harsh on you today. You can’t take Rian too seriously,” Mairae added.
Auraya kept her gaze on Huan. The goddess’s eyes narrowed.
:Where will you go?
“To Si.”
Huan looked at her fellow gods.
:We must discuss it. Remain here.
The five figures vanished. Auraya drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Auraya,” Juran said sternly. “You said you would accept the gods’ punishment.”
She turned to stare at him. “And I have. But I cannot accept their abandonment of the Siyee.”
He frowned. “Are they worth giving up your position, your immortality - your power of flight? How can you help them without that?”
“I will do what I can,” she told him. “I...” She shook her head. At the limits of her senses was a buzzing. Concentrating on it, she was surprised to find she could make out words.
:... warned you this might happen, but you insisted on testing her again and again.
It was Chaia, she realized. He was angry.
:No more than we have tested the others, Huan replied.
:After many years in service!
:She was the last White. She was never going to have the luxury of time to get used to her role. Now we can find a more worthy replacement. What say the rest of us?
:Agreed, Lore said.
:Yes, Yranna added.
:Give her what she wants, Sam agreed. Then we can get rid of her.
:Only if she turns against us, Chaia corrected, his tone firm. I say we should keep Auraya a White.
:You are out-voted, but we will let her go to Si. The shock of her resignation will be damaging enough, though knowing she left to help the Siyee will reduce the... Wait. She can hear us! Huan exclaimed.
:I warned you. You know she can sense us when we’re close, Chaia said, perhaps a little smugly. Does this change your mind?
:No, Huan said.
The gods drew closer and moved into their positions around the table. Auraya realized she had been staring blankly at Juran, and looked away. The five gods reappeared.
:We grant you your request, Huan said.