I meant to go and watch the boy at practice if I could find time; but just then something happened which drove trifles from my head. I came home, and met in the court my little sister Charis weeping. She was always tumbling about and bruising herself, for she was just learning to run. I picked her up; being only two years old, she went bare unless it was cold, and her body was as sweet as fresh apples. When I had made her laugh I looked for her hurt but could find none; so I carried her in. There I saw my mother, seated in talk with my uncle Strymon. She had pulled her veil across her face. I thought it modest of her to take this trouble with so old a man; yet something in it disturbed me. I set down the child and went in. On this my mother dropped her veil, and turned to me, as a woman to the man under whose protection the gods have placed her. I went over and stood at her side. Then looking up I met the eyes of Strymon and thought, “This man is an enemy.”
I greeted him, however, in the usual way. He said, “I have been pointing out to your stepmother, Alexias, and not for the first time, the unfitness of her staying here alone, now that your worthy father is gone, in a household without a man at its head. The gods have given me means enough to take care of such obligations; kindly assure her of it, since she seems to fear being a burden in my house.”
I considered this. Being almost eighteen, I should soon be of age and her legal guardian. Still, he was, in the meantime, head of the family; his proposal was correct, if rather officious. At first I was chiefly concerned lest he might want me to go too. Then I saw her eyes flinch before his; and I understood.
He was a man of only five-and-sixty, in good health. Without doubt he would have offered her marriage, and many women in her place would have thought themselves well off. The extreme of horror I felt was no doubt the effect of my youth. Like one deprived of sense, I put forward none of the reasonable objections I might have made to her going, but cried out, “She will stay here, by Zeus, and let me see who will take her away!”
He rose from his chair. We stood eyeing one another; I have met kinder looks across the top of a shield. Never destroy without thought your enemy’s pretences; they are usually your best weapon against him. We were both drawing breath to speak again, when my mother said, “Alexias, be silent. You forget yourself.”
I felt as if she had stabbed me in the back while I defended her. Turning round, however, and seeing her face, I understood that she was afraid. This was natural enough; for an open breach with him would have made our lives very unpleasant. Her sharpness recalled me partly to myself. I begged his pardon, and began to say some of the things I should have said at first. He replied, “Pray don’t trouble yourself, Alexias, to apologise. I imagine that in your own circle of friends, what we have heard is nothing out of the way. Where the teacher does not even worship the immortal gods, but sets them aside for new divinities, one can hardly expect in the pupil much reverence for age and kinship in mere men.”
It had been a way of mine since childhood to throw back my head when I was angry. I did this now, and felt a strangeness; I was used to the weight of my hair, and it had gone. It was as if a hand had been laid on me to say, “Remember you are a man.”
“The blame is mine, sir,” I said. “He would have rebuked me sooner than you. Thank you for your offer; but I don’t wish my mother to leave this house, where I shall be master so shortly.”—“In a few years,” he said, “when you bring home a bride, your stepmother will have little cause to thank you.”—“Sir, when I choose a bride, it won’t be one who does not honour my mother.” He said, “You have no mother, and this woman is your father’s wife.”
I had to fix my eyes on his white beard, or I could not have answered for myself. I have seldom been so roused in battle. When my mother spoke I seemed at first scarcely to hear. She said, as a woman speaks to a slapped child, “That is enough, Alexias. Bid your uncle goodbye, and go.”
I had not even answered him. Her injustice stung me; but it sobered me too. After a moment I said, “Well, sir, I am sure neither of us cares to parade family business in a lawsuit. I should be of age too by the time it was heard, and your case would fall away. We have kept you long enough from your affairs; may we offer you something before you go?”
When he had left, I was reluctant to go in again. I suppose I felt I had mishandled the matter, and feared my mother’s reproaches. I went out into the street instead; and now I found only one thought in my mind. Whenever I met with an acquaintance, I asked if he had seen Lysis anywhere. Someone told me he was still at the gymnasium. He was not on the wrestling-ground; but I found him on the sand-track, throwing the disk. He had just got it poised, and was starting the swing-back, when he saw me, and checked his arm, and made a bad cast. The others laughed at him, seeing the cause; then he took up the disk again, and made a good one. Soon afterwards he finished, and came out to clean-off. It seemed to me that I had never beheld him with such joy; I could scarcely greet him. When he had dressed and we were walking away, he said, “What is it? You don’t look like yourself, is anything wrong?”—“No, Lysis. But sometimes I wonder how I got along before I knew you; for it seems now that if I clung to life at all, it was only through ignorance of what I lacked. And if you were not going to Corinth too, I would withdraw my name, rather than we should be parted so long.”
He stared at me half laughing. “Withdraw? What, from the Games? That wouldn’t earn me much credit in the City. I see now what it is; you’ve been training too hard, and are getting nervous. Take my advice, and don’t waste time fretting in case another city sends a faster man. You can’t know, nor help it if you did. As Sokrates said to me years ago, you can only make your body as acceptable to the gods as you can. If we didn’t know they give the crown to the best man, we might as well save ourselves the hard work, and sit drinking at home. So be at peace with yourself, my dear, for there is measure in everything. Shall we go swimming? Or watch the horse-race? Or talk in the colonnade?” He gazed at me, his brows drawn in thought. “Autolykos says he generally has a girl halfway through his training. It’s not what the trainers say, I know, but he recommends it.”
“I think I’ll stick to the training,” I said, “and wait till I get to Corinth.” I knew what that city is famous for, and thought this sounded manly enough. In the end we went to the horse-race. Whatever had been in my mind when I sought him out, I went home in the evening feeling like someone who has shaken off a fever.
A few weeks later I turned eighteen, and went up for the scrutiny. My uncle Strymon went with me, for decency’s sake. When I had verified my age and parentage, the strategos swore me in. He said with a straight face that he supposed I was eager to start my military service; then he held up one of my arms, and looked at my scars, and laughed.
At home I found laid out on my bed my man’s mantle, which my mother had woven ready a long time back; it smelt of the sweet herbs she kept her dresses in. Lysis had taught me already how to drape it. I put it on, and went in to show myself. “Now, Mother,” I said, “let me see you smile; from this time on you have nothing to fear.” She smiled at me and tried to speak; then suddenly the tears stood in her eyes. It is natural in women to give way like this upon joyful occasions. I came forward with open arms to comfort her; but she cried out that it would be unlucky to sprinkle my mantle with tears at its first wearing; and so avoiding me went away.