The Last Samurai

[Mifune] What’s funny?

[Kambei] You don’t look thirteen

Listen, if you’re definitely this Kikuchiyo you must be thirteen this year.

[All the samurai burst out laughing]

Where did you steal this?

[Mifune] What! It’s a lie! Shit! What are you saying?

Sibylla said: Can you really understand it?

I said: Of course I can understand it.

Sibylla said: Well what’s he saying then?

and she rewound the video to the place where Mifune staggers to his feet.

I said, Well he says Yai! Kisama! yoku mo ore no koto o samurai ka nante nukashiyagatte… fuzakeruna!

and Sib said for all she knew she might actually know these words, she never recognised a word when she heard it

so I wrote on a piece of paper explaining as I went, he says yai hey ! kisama you (the Kodansha Romaji says it’s CRUDE and very insulting) yoku well mo intensifying particle ore no me possessive particle koto o, thing object particle, i.e. periphrasis for me samurai ka interrogative particle nante COLLOQ. for nan-to what, how, as in how cold it is nukashiyagatte gerund of nukasu, to say, i.e. Asking me ‘Are you a samurai?’ like that, ! fuzakeruna negative imperative of fuzakeru, to joke, i.e. don’t laugh at me.

I explained that according to Japanese Street Slang shiyagatte was the gerund of shiyagaru, the common contraction of shite agaru, which was the offensive form of the verb suru, to do. So if nukasu was to say nukashiyagatte would be the offensive gerund.

What a wonderful language, said Sib, they seem to have toned it down quite a bit for the subtitles. I knew Japanese Street Slang was a bargain at £6.88.

In other words Asking me ‘Are you a samurai?’ like that—how dare you!

All right, said Sib, & then what?

ore wa na I topic particle emphatic particle Kō, in this way miete, present participle of mieru, appearing mo even, i.e. even appearing like this.

Sib said she might not know much Japanese but she did not believe for one nanosecond that Mifune said Even appearing like this.

I said I did not think consciousness was capable of operating in units of nanoseconds.

Sib said she did not believe it for the smallest unit at which consciousness was capable of operating and then what?

chanto shita, precise, proper, up-to-standard Up-to-standard! said Sib

samurai da, I am, i.e. Even though I look like this I’m a genuine samurai.

Which subtitle is that, said Sib, I don’t recognise any of this.

I said it came up roughly where he said I’m a samurai all right.

Hmm, said Sib.

yai hey ore wa na

I topic particle emphatic particle said Sib

arekara since that time omae no of you koto o thing object particle, i.e. periphrasis for you zutto the whole (time), I said talking fast

sagashitetanda contraction of sagashite ita, I was searching, contraction of no da it is a fact that, no nominalising particle da verb to be zo sentence-final particle expressing strong exclamation generally used only by male speakers, I said even faster

kore o this object particle miseyō plain volitional I’d like to show to, quotative particle applying to previous phrase, omotte na present participle of omou to think plus na emphatic particle, i.e. thinking that I’d like to show you this—

I know all those words, said Sib.

Well, do you want me to just write it down for you? I said. I wrote down a few lines and Sib said I might not be aware of it but writing was generally considered a means of communication & my handwriting in Japanese was even more enigmatic than the scripts I had introduced to English, Greek, Arabic, Hebrew, Bengali, Russian, Armenian and other languages too numerous to enumerate.

, I said, kore o miro

I know that, said Sib, Look at this

kono keizu, this genealogy, wa na

topic particle particle said Sib

ore sama no

my said Sib

senzo, ancestors daidai counter for generations no possessive particle said Sib

keizu yo

genealogy exclamatory particle said Sib

kono yarō baka ni shiyagatte nandei

kono, this, yarō boor, bumpkin, kono yarō you swine according to Sanseido, baka idiot most popular Japanese swear word according to Japanese Street Slang, baka ni suru is literally you’re making a fool of me but ruder in Japanese, don’t fuckin’ fuck with me according to Japanese Street Slang, so if shiyagatte is the offensive form of suru it’s probably even ruder, nandei whatever.

The subtitles don’t really seem to capture the flavour, said Sib.

Anyway you get the picture, I said, and Sib said But you’ve only done a couple of lines, how can you stop after two lines of one of the CENTRAL SCENES of the FILM?

oK, oK, oK I said. The great thing about having two parents is that each protects you from the other. If I had a father he would notice that I was getting fed up and say Leave the boy alone, Sibylla. Or he would say tactfully I’m going over to the park to kick a ball around before it gets dark and he would offer to explain the scene to Sib himself later on.

Where are we up to? said Sib.

We’re up to where Kambei looks at the scroll, I said.