Instinctively, I let go of the wheel. I threw my arms up to protect my head. There was nothing now but nauseating chaos. I caught glimpses of the trees turning sideways through the jagged frame of the broken windshield. I saw the sky turning and the clouds turning and everything rolling over and over. My body was smashed against the ceiling, then against the door, and then thrown sideways across the passenger seat.
Then it was finished. The truck lay still. There was silence-only it wasn’t really silence-it was just my own muddied consciousness, too shocked and battered to take in anything going on outside. I don’t know how long I was like that. Not long, I guess. It was probably just a few seconds before my mind began to clear, before the sounds of the world started to come back to me. They were the same sounds as before, the same sounds that seemed to have been surrounding me for hours now, maybe forever. The sound of the chattering rifles, the sound of shouting-“Get him! Go!”-the sound of running footsteps, muffled now as my pursuers left the compound and came toward me across the meadow.
I lay in the cab of the truck, dazed. I lay there and listened to the sounds. The sounds made me feel-I don’t know-very sad and very tired somehow. I felt much too tired to do anything, to try to run anymore or fight or escape. I just wanted all these evil people to go away. I just wanted them to leave me alone. I wanted to be home again, back in my own house, in my own bed, waiting half-awake for my mom to call upstairs and tell me it was time to get ready for school. Why were these people hurting me? Why were they after me? How could I stop them? I was just a kid. I lay there in the cab of the overturned truck and I just wanted to break down and cry with weariness and frustration.
Lazily, my head rolled to one side. My vision seemed dull. The world seemed covered with shadows. Through those shadows, I could make out the light of day. I could make out the scene through the truck window. The world out there seemed to be very far off. It seemed as if it had nothing to do with me.
There they were. Same as before. Those men. Those men running after me. Those men with rifles coming to get me, coming to drag me back to the compound and strap me back in that chair and shoot that poison into me and watch me scream and scream until I was dead.
There they were. Coming closer every second.
And I was just too tired, too sick, too beaten to go on running anymore.
CHAPTER NINE
Lunch Lying there, my spirit broken, my mind flashed back in time again, my heart went home. A series of images swam swiftly through my dazed brain. That last morning… my karate demonstration… Beth… Alex… It seemed now like a sweet, simple time: the last good day. It seemed now that my life had been perfect then. I had food to eat, and a house to live in, parents to take care of me. I lived in a wonderful, free country where I could say what I wanted and do what I wanted and be anything I had the talent to be. No one was shooting at me or beating me up or strapping me to chairs and trying to inject acid into me. I should have woken up every morning and thanked God for his blessings. I should have headed off to school each day whistling a happy tune.
But at the time, it didn’t seem like that at all. At the time, I thought I had plenty to worry about-plenty. I mean, I was in high school, for one thing. What could be more worrisome than that? For another thing, this was the year I had to take calculus. It was insanely hard, and I worried it would wreck my grade point average. And if it didn’t, there was Mr. Sherman, my history teacher, to worry about. I thought he was out to get me because I argued with him all the time, and a lot of the time I won. For instance, he stood up in class once and said all these nasty things about America. He said America was racist and violent and greedy. So I just got up and told him that he was wrong and that the facts proved him wrong. I told him, sure, people in America make mistakes because people everywhere make mistakes. But when you came right down to it, there was not one place on Earth where people had any freedom or dignity or human rights and America hadn’t helped it happen or helped it stay that way. I challenged him to name one place-one single place on Earth-and he couldn’t, because there isn’t one. Ever since then, I’d been getting lower grades on my papers for his class.
So that made me worry I wouldn’t get into a decent college. And that made me worry I couldn’t fulfill my secret ambition in life, which I hadn’t told anyone because I worried it would make my mother’s head explode in terror and because I wasn’t even sure it was realistic anyway- and I worried about that too.
And maybe more than anything, I worried about Beth Summers. Whom I couldn’t stop thinking about and who seemed kind of impossibly out of my league. Every time she even got close to me, I started to sound as if my IQ had dropped forty points and someone had superglued my tongue to the top of my mouth. “Heddo, Bet, it gud to tee you.” Plus there was a rumor that she had kind of a thing for someone else and that he had kind of a thing for her- and that this someone else was Alex Hauser, who happened to technically still be my best friend.
Josh Lerner had passed this story on to me in his IM guise as the supremely irritating GalaxyMaster. He said that this past summer, when both Alex and Beth had been working part-time at the Main Street Blender-Benders, they had become good friends. They’d started walking home after work every day, and Alex had talked to her about his folks splitting up and all the trouble in his life. Of course, Beth had listened to him in that way she had that made you feel like you were the only person on Earth. So Alex had fallen for her because… well, who wouldn’t?
The way GalaxyMaster told it, Beth had sort of fallen for Alex, too, really developed a crush on him. But that was about the time when Alex started hanging out with the jerks he was hanging out with, and doing the stuff he was doing and talking the way he was. Egged on by his new buds, he’d started getting rude and creepy with Beth, pushing himself on her and bothering her to do a lot of stuff she didn’t want to do. Well, you can figure it out for yourself.
Anyway, the upshot was-so the story went-that Beth told Alex she didn’t like the way he was acting and Alex said fine, what did he care, there were plenty of other girls around, and so have a nice life and good riddance. And he stormed off. And Beth realized that was for the best, but she was still really sad about it because she really did have a thing for Alex, and she felt as if her heart was broken.
That was the story, anyway, according to GalaxyMaster. And I have to admit it made things with Beth a bit more complicated. See, Alex and I had known each other since we were in kindergarten, and we’d been best friends for a long time. For years, he spent practically every Saturday at my house, and when he wasn’t there, I was at his. We rode bikes together. Played ball together. For a while, Alex had even taken karate lessons with me. Then he’d gotten more into baseball and joined the Legion League and didn’t have time for karate. But that was okay. We were still friends, we’d still hang out together and go for hikes or to the movies or whatever.
Then, about a year ago, after a lot of arguments and yelling and crying all around, Alex’s dad moved out. Not just out of the house either. He moved to a whole different city. His mom didn’t have as much money as before, and she and Alex and his brother had to move to another part of town. That meant Alex had to change schools, too, so we hardly saw each other at all. After a while, Alex even stopped coming by my house on the weekends. In fact, he pretty much stopped talking to me altogether. I mean, I’d try to make contact. I’d call him. I’d e-mail. I’d even drop by his new place, even though it was almost forty minutes by bike. But Alex didn’t seem interested in talking to me anymore. He didn’t just ignore me. He kind of snorted and rolled his eyes when he saw me coming. He practically told me to go away and leave him alone. So I did leave him alone. But I sent him one last e-mail. It said, basically: Look, I know you’re going through a hard time, but just so you know, I’m still your friend and if you want to talk about it or just hang or whatever, you know where I am. I still hoped he’d take me up on the offer because he was always a good guy and I missed seeing him.