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EINSTEIN
(sadly)

My best friend, Fred. I was hoping he was dead and could join us. That was actually my original intention.

ROBESON and HOOVER both look surprised.

EINSTEIN

With you and me, Paul. You would have loved the man. When I found out Fred wasn’t quite dead, I made a last minute substitution. (pats HOOVER’s hand) No offense.

HOOVER pulls his hand away and straightens his skirt again.

HOOVER

Offend away. You think I asked to be part of your commie club?

ANNIE

You know, sometimes Grandpa wishes he was dead too. It’s sad. He’s in the nursing home.

EINSTEIN

I know. Sailing alone around the world.

MALCOLM
(proprietary)

And this is Paul Robeson.

ANNIE notices ROBESON for the first time.

ANNIE

It is! I’ve seen his pictures.

ROBESON
(drolly)

Not those dreadful movies, I hope.

EINSTEIN

I think she means photographs, Paul.

ANNIE

There’s one on the wall upstairs. My God, Mr. Robeson! (pumping his hand with both of hers) Grandpa never met you but he talked about you all the time. You were his hero. (to her friends) This is so cool! It’s like, mystical!

EINSTEIN

No, no, my child. It’s just a quantum singularity. As I explained…

HOOVER, still unnoticed, sits sulking. DOUG stands behind him and points down at his head.

DOUG

This other one here’s apparently some kind of cop.

ANNIE

Of course! J. Edgar Hoover? (to EINSTEIN) But I don’t get it. Where the hell did he come from?

HOOVER
(grimly)

Young lady, you don’t want to know.

ANNIE

Well, whatever. (to ROBESON and EINSTEIN) But we’re being so rude. Please excuse us, we’re planning for a big demonstration today. (points to the table) Can we get you something?

ROBESON

Don’t let us interfere with your righteous work. (wipes his brow) But a beer would be nice.

WILL
(hurrying off)

We have microbrews!

EINSTEIN

A white wine would be nice. (politely turns to HOOVER) And for our friend here—

HOOVER

Friend! (petulantly straightens his skirt) Hardly. But I guess I could do with a martini.

ANNIE

Uh—a martini? Uh…

HOOVER

I’ll have a fruit juice, then.

ANNIE, the good hostess, starts for the drink table, then stops and looks back at HOOVER with distaste.

ANNIE

It’s organic. Is that OK?

STAGE GOES DARK
SCENE TWO

LIGHTS UP on SAME SCENE, a little later. EINSTEIN is lighting his pipe. CLAIRE looks on, shocked, but doesn’t say anything. HOOVER sniffs his juice suspiciously. ROBESON takes a drink of beer and frowns; examines the bottle.

ROBESON

What is this stuff? Home brew?

WILL

Microbrew. We have lots of little breweries, each with its own distinctive flavor.

ROBESON

We had better stuff during prohibition, son.

EINSTEIN

Paul, please. The wine is very good. You say it’s from California? Astonishing.

HOOVER

You are easily astonished.

EINSTEIN

An important quality for a scientist. Especially a theoretical scientist. So tell us, what’s this protest about?

CLAIRE

Lots of stuff. Invasions of other countries, the Patriot Act. The government is spying on people, arresting them without warrants, trampling on freedom of speech.

ROBESON

What else is new? That’s what government does, my dear. This one, anyway.

MALCOLM

It’s not supposed to. But since 9-11 they’ve gone ballistic.

HOOVER

9-11? What’s this 9-11? A new law?

DOUG

Terrorism. Islamic fundamentalists flew airliners into skyscrapers in New York, killing 3,000 people.

ROBESON
(shaking his head)

The only fundamentalists we had to worry about were the Christians.

EINSTEIN

Oh dear. And why?

MALCOLM

They hate us. Because we support Israel.

ANNIE

We don’t support Israel. The government supports Israel.

EINSTEIN

But don’t we all support Israel?

CLAIRE

You’re a Zionist? (hands him a newspaper) You support this?

EINSTEIN
(pained)

Israeli tanks? These are Israeli soldiers? Oh dear. They look like—storm troopers.

DOUG
(looking over his shoulder)

They are storm troopers. That tank is knocking down a Palestinian home.

MALCOLM

Collective punishment. Ethnic cleansing.

EINSTEIN

This is ghastly. Israeli storm troopers. I was afraid of this. You know, Paul, they once wanted me to be president of Israel.

ROBESON

I know.

EINSTEIN

I almost wish I had never come back to see this. Jews occupying another’s land. The racist attitudes toward the Arab inhabitants always troubled me…

CLAIRE

The Palestinians.

EINSTEIN

The Palestinians. We Jews were once Palestinians, you know. But then this idea, of casting the Arabs out of the land, of making a religious state… It was not right.

ROBESON

Apartheid. Like South Africa.

MALCOLM

There is no more Apartheid. South Africa is free. Black ruled.

ROBESON

There’s an advance! So Africa is coming together at last.

MALCOLM

Well, not exactly.

He hands ROBESON a newspaper.

ROBESON

Africa too! (shakes his head) What kind of world have we left you kids?

HOOVER

Africa. What do you expect from naked savages?

ROBESON
(making a fist)

Watch your tongue old man. Or—

HOOVER

Or you’ll what? Your threats mean nothing to me.

ROBESON

Nor yours to me. Never did!

EINSTEIN

Gentlemen, please! We’re dead, remember? Let bygones be bygones.

HOOVER

You never went to Africa anyway. You only talked about it.

ROBESON

It’s true. I always liked my creature comforts. But how could I go? You took away my passport.

HOOVER

That was the State Department.

ROBESON

Bullshit! You were behind every act of repression: you, with your thin smirk.

HOOVER

You could have left any time. (sarcastic) You were the great international Negro.

ROBESON

I could have left. But never returned to the US.

HOOVER

What did you care? You always hated America.