The man I had seen on the bed was a travesty of Sir Justin; I was horrified by the thought that someone who had been so robust, so arrogant, could become like that.
Somehow I must have reached the family sleeping quarters. If I met anyone now, I would say I was looking for the dressing rooms and had lost my way. I clutched again the torn mask in my hand and hesitated by a half-open door. Looking inside I saw a bedroom; two lamps on the wall gave a dim light. It suddenly occurred to me that on the dressing table there might possibly be some pins. I looked along the corridor; there was no sign of anyone, so I stepped into the room, and sure enough, on the mirror, looped by satin ribbons, was a pincushion with pins sticking in it. I took several and was about to make for the door when I heard voices in the corridor.
A sudden panic seized me. I had to get out of this room quickly. Old fears came back to me like those I had had on the night when Joe was missing. If Mellyora was found in one of these rooms and said that she had lost her way, everyone would believe her; if I were—and they knew who I was —that would subject me to the humiliation of suspicion. I must not be found here.
I looked about me and saw there were two doors. Without thinking I opened one and stepped forwards. I was in a cupboard in which clothes were hanging. There was no time to escape so I shut the door and held my breath.
In a few terrifying seconds I knew that someone had come into the room. I heard the door shut, and waited tensely for discovery. I must tell everything about Johnny trying to make love to me and who I was. I must make them believe me. I should open the door at once and explain. If I were caught I should look so guilty; and if I went out and explained right away, which was what Mellyora would have done, I should be more likely believed. But what if they didn't believe me?
I had hesitated too long.
A voice said: "But what is it, Judith?" A weary voice which I knew to belong to Justin St. Larnston.
"I had to see you, darling. Just to be alone with you for a few minutes. I had to be reassured. Surely you understand."
Judith, his wife! Her voice was what I would have expected. She spoke in short sentences as though she were breathless; and there was a feeling of tension which was immediately apparent.
"Judith, you must not get so excited."
"Excited? How can I help it when ... I saw you and that girl ... dancing together."
"Listen to me, Judith." His voice sounded slow and drawling almost, but perhaps that was in contrast to hers. "She's only the parson's daughter."
"She's beautiful. You think so, don't you? And young ... so very young... . And I could see the way she looked ... when you were dancing together."
"Judith, this is quite absurd. I've known the child since she was in her cradle. Naturally I had to dance with her. You know how one must at these affairs."
"But you seemed ... you seemed... ."
"Weren't you dancing? Or were you watching me all the time?"
"You know how I feel. I was aware of you, Justin. Aware of you and that girl. You may laugh but there was something. I had to be reassured."
"But really, Judith, there is nothing to reassure you about. You're my wife, aren't you? Isn't that enough?"
"Everything. Just everything! That's why I couldn't bear ..."
"Well then let's forget it. And we shouldn't be here. We can't disappear like this."
"All right, but kiss me, Justin."
Silence, during which I felt they must hear my heart beating. I had been right not to show myself. As soon as they had gone I would creep out and quickly repair my mask with the pins and then all would be well.
"Come on, Judith, let's go."
"Once more, darling. Oh, darling, how I wish we didn't have to go back to all those tiresome people."
"It'll soon be over."
"Darling... ."
Silence. The shutting of the door. I wanted to rush out but I forced myself to stay where I was while I counted ten. Then cautiously I opened the door, peered out at the empty room, sped to its door, and with a sigh of thankfulness reached the corridor.
I almost ran from that open door, trying to rid myself of the picture of one of them opening the door and finding me hiding in the cupboard. It hadn't happened, but, oh, it was a warning not to do anything so silly again.
The music was louder, as I had reached the staircase where Lady St. Larnston had received us. Now I knew my way. In my anxiety I had forgotten my mask until I saw Mellyora with Kim.
"Your mask!" cried Mellyora.
I held it up. "It's broken, but I've found some pins."
Kim said: "Well, I believe it is Kerensa."
I looked at him shamefacedly. Mellyora turned to him. "Why not?" she said fiercely. "Kerensa wanted to come to the ball. Why shouldn't she? I said she was a friend of mine and so she is."
"Why not indeed?" agreed Kim.
"How did it break?" asked Mellyora.
"My stitches weren't strong enough, I expect."
"Odd. Let me look." She took the mask. "Oh, I see. Give me the pins. Now ni fix it. It'll last. Did you know that there's only half an hour to midnight?"
"I lost count of time."
Mellyora fixed the mask and I felt pleased to hide behind it.
"We've just been out into the gardens," said Mellyora. "The moonlight's wonderful."
"I know. I was out there, too."
"Let's go back to the ballroom now," said Mellyora. "There's not much time left."
We went back, Kim escorting us. A partner came to ask me to dance and I felt hilariously happy to be masked and dancing again, while I congratulated myself on my escape. Then I remembered that Johnny St. Larnston knew who I was, but I didn't really attach much importance to that. If he told his mother, I should quickly let her know how he had behaved; and I fancied she would not be any more pleased with him than with me.
I danced with Kim later and I was glad because I wanted to know what his reactions were. He was clearly amused.
"Carlyon," he said. "That's what puzzles me. I thought you were Miss Carlee."
"Mellyora gave me that name."
"Oh ... Mellyora!"
I told him all that had happened while he was away at the University, how Mellyora had seen me at the fair and taken me home.
He listened intently.
"I'm glad it happened," he told me. "It's good for you and for her."
I glowed with pleasure. He was so different from Johnny St. Larnston.
"And your brother?" he asked. "How is he getting on with the vet?"
"You knew?"
He laughed. "I'm rather interested in his progress since it was I who mentioned to Pollent what an asset he would be."
"You ... spoke to Pollent?"
"I did. Made him promise to give the boy a chance."
"I see. I suppose I should thank you."
"Don't if you'd rather not."
"But my Granny is so pleased. He's getting on well. The vet is pleased with him and ..." I heard the note of pride in my voice. "... he's pleased with the vet."
"Good news. I thought that a boy who would risk so much for the sake of a bird must have a special gift. So ... all goes well."
"Yes," I repeated, "all goes well."
"May I say that I think you have grown up just as I thought you would."
"And how is that?"