To his credit, his voice was calm. "What shall we do if we cannot wake Nikis ? "
"If we cannot wake her, littling, then I will bear her hither myself. We will not leave her behind." I said, wondering at my own presumption. Still, it was not the journey from her Weh chamber that concerned me. That, I felt certain, I could do. It had never been done before, but I did not doubt that I could do it.
How we could bear a full-grown lady on borrowed wings for five long days, however, was another question entirely.
I walked straight down the stairs and out the door. I instinctively avoided making myself obvious, but a lifetime spent in the Service made me notice what kinds of folk were there. Mostly local Merchants of the lesser houses, farmers—oh, and the Healer had stopped for a drink as well— one or two young couples—a minstrel in the corner, playing to no one as usual—a particular type of nod and gesture from a figure in the corner, that was a colleague, I replied with the "all's well." A quiet night, then, widi luck.
All this I noticed while I was hurtling through the common room and out the door. I never cease to be amazed at what one person can do in just a few moments.
AYE, RELLA YOU IDIOT, LIKE SLAPPING JAMIE. OH, THAT WAS BRILLIANT.
I hate it when that voice in my head starts talking back. I started pacing up and down the street outside the inn, my anger rising nicely to the boil.
Could have been worse, I told that other voice. 7 could have really hit him, like 1 wanted to. Bastard! What brought all that on, anyway? When have J ever played the mercenary since I met—Hells, even since I met Lanenl
AND HER WITH THE EYES OF MY SWEET THYRIS, MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL, TAKEN FROM ME ALL THOSE YEARS GONE. I KNOW, I WAS LOST. WHEN SHE STARTED BEING KIND TO ME FOR NO REASON, YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T TREAT IT LIKE JUST ANOTHER ASSIGNMENT. MARAN'S DAUGHTER AND ALL-POOR MARAN, I'VE HARDLY SENT WORD ONCE A FORTNIGHT, AND THE CONTRACT SAYS FOUR TIMES A MONTH.
That Farseer's not wasted on her. She'll know what's going on.
AYE, AS FAR AS SIGHT WITH NO SOUND CAN TELL HER. I'M THREE REPORTS DOWN. SEND ONE TONIGHT, THAT WAS ONE OF OURS IN THAT CORNER. STRANGE. WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? STILL, ELIMAR'S A BIG PLACE.
You're avoiding the issue. Jamie. What are we going to do about Jamie?
WHAT IS THERE TO DO? ASIDE FROM WANTING TO KICK HIM I CAN'T HELP
GETTING FOND OF THE MAN, HE'S A DAMN GOOD FIGHTER. I'VE WATCHED HIM TEACHING VARIEN, HE'S PATIENT AND CLEVER, HE'S A GOOD MAN—.
The fact that he's our age and well made and moves like a dancer doesn't hurt, and he treats us—treated us—like a normal person, and when the light is right he's quite comely enough to be getting on with—
AND WE'VE GOT A CROOKED BACK THAT IS GETTING MORE PAINFUL EVERY YEAR. HELLS, HE THINKS WE'RE PAID DEMON FODDER, RELLEDA MY GIRL. HE WOULDN'T GIVE US A SECOND GLANCE IF WE WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN EVER BORN. BESIDES, HE'S GOT A FUME IN HIS HEART YET FOR MARAN, DESPITE EVERYTHING SHE HAS DONE TO HIM. I HEARD IT IN HIS VOICE THAT NIGHT.
Aye, and she has one for him. Remember!
HARD TO FORGET.
I suspect I'd have come up with something sensible just then, only somebody tapped me on the shoulder.
I drew a dagger and whirled, all in a motion, but he wasn't near enough to hit. There stood Jamie, standing well out of my reach, with the light from a distant doorway just about enough to let me see the laughter in his eyes. Not mocking, just amused.
"Just making sure you're not losing your touch," he said carelessly.
"If you'd been any closer, you idiot—" I snarled, sheathing the dagger.
"If I'd been any closer I would be an idiot." He stood with his hands behind his back. "In fact I'd be a bleeding idiot," he said with half a smile. It was an old scrapper's joke and not that funny, but I found the other half of the smile for him. Damn his eyes. I wanted to stay angry, so I stood and faced him there in the street. "What was it you wanted, Master?" I asked, planting my fists on my hips. I'm afraid the anger in my voice might not have been entirely convincing, but it's hard to fool another of your own profession.
'To apologise," he said, and he bowed to me right there in the street. I was starting to feel flattered until I realised.
"Fine," I said, angry again. "You can go back to Lanen and tell her you've made peace with me. Just let me alone."
Jamie smiled then—not a wry grin or a mocking grimace, just a plain smile. Goddess, he had a good smile. "Oh, no. Not yet. You may not know it, Mistress, but for the most part I'm a stranger to the ways of women."
"No, really?'
"Not that I haven't shared a bed with a few," he said happily. "I have, and heartily enjoyed it too."
"I'll bet."
"And I never had any complaints from the other half of the exercise, so you can stop sneering." He began to walk slowly towards me, like a smug salt-and-pepper cat, and I swear my heart started thumping so loud I expected him to hear it. Rella you ass, you're over forty, stop this foolishness, I growled at myself, but I didn't appear to be listening.
He stopped just a handsbreadth outside my reach with a dagger. Standard practice for personal conversations between fighters. "But I've not spent much time with anyone since Maran and I were on our travels," he said. I'd never noticed how pleasant his voice was, just that trace of a northern accent. Focus, Rella, keep calm—
"Until now. We've been together two full moons now. I've come to admire your skills and your courage, and the Lady knows you're sharper than I am, but you know, I had never seen even a glimpse of your heart before tonight." His brown velvet eyes were locked on mine. "It's a damn good one, Rella," he said, "but I may have the match for it."
And he stepped inside my guard.
Several thousand thoughts clamoured for attention and the trained part of me was yelling Threat! and trying to get me to draw a weapon, but sometimes you just have to ignore your brain and your training and listen to an older wisdom.
I can't remember who started kissing whom, but after a very short while it ceased to matter.
XII Of True Names and the Web of Fate
I knew great pleasure in those days. I had never thought there were so many like to me. Waking each morning was great joy, flying at dawn with brothers and sisters I had never known. It was food for my hungry heart and balm to my lonely mind, and for a brief time I did not think of Him. However, one day near noontide one of the two-legs walked through the gap on the side of sunrise. It was scrawny and it made a loud noise when it saw us and then it ran away, the smell of its fear strong on the air behind it. tts fear confused me. What were we, to be afraid of§
The others did not share my confusion. They seemed content enough that it had left, even pleased. I knew frustration again such as I had not felt for many years. I wanted to know what my kinsfolk were thinking, why they were pleased to see the two-legged one run away in fear.
I had no words but I wanted desperately to talk to them.
I remembered again the voice of the one I loved most in the world. It was deep and pleasing, and it shaped sound. He was not much of a singer, but he made pleasant noises and I missed his voice. However, there were two shaped sounds he had made the same way over and over, until I understood.
I suppose it is not true, then, to say I had no words at all in those days. I knew two sound shapes and I kept the memory of them close in my heart, trying to make the sounds myself when I was alone. The short one was the harder, for though I did not realise it, the sounds were made for a different mouth than mine. The other was the sound He used when he was talking to me, and I knew it was the sound that bound me to him.