“Well,” Sue said, leaving Patty staring at the wall, “they were supposed to have been back a little while ago. For lunch.” It was quarter past one. “My guess is, they found a really nice grocery store or something, and they took their time, and they’re almost back now with a truck full of cookies and spaghetti and tuna. How does that sound?”
Some of the younger kids gave out a little “yay” chorus. Then they were all back to doodling on their math sheets or punching at their board games.
Sue hated them. Most of them. Wayne said there was only room for eight people on the Jeep, a couple more if the kids were little.
Sue had eight orphans in her class and eleven children of other adults holed up in the warehouse. She didn’t have to worry about the eleven, but with her and Patty not minding them during the day or sleeping on pissy mattresses with them in the classroom at night, the orphans were as good as dead.
Pushing it, pushing it, she and Patty could maybe bring five kids. That meant she had to eliminate three.
Obviously, she should have done this before noon but her hangover was still wearing off then.
She scanned the pitiful crowd. It was easy enough to gravitate toward the younger students, the kindergarteners whom life hadn’t yet broken, but that just made them a liability. It meant Sue would have to be the one to watch or assist the breaking.
Devon, a four-year-old black kid, gave out a horrible snorking cough, the apparent culmination of some symptoms that had been dribbling out of him all day and a validation ticket for some thoughts Sue had been having on the subject. She sighed thanks. Goodbye, Devon.
Sue sidled over to Patty and whispered. “I’m thinking we take Leticia, Morgan, Shawn, and Greg. They’re all over six…for the last one, it’s between Sophia, Sarah, and Avery. What do you think? Sarah’s youngest but she’s got it together, listens well.”
Patty grunted.
“That’s all we can take. Five is a lot even for two of us to wrangle, out…on the road. Christ, Patty, say something, we have to-”
“Wha?”
“You have to pick: Do you want Sophia, Sarah, or Avery? Devon’s got that horrible cough. It seems serious. All we need is for the kids to all get sick.”
“I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can, Wayne and Ian have it all planned out. We can’t stay here forever.”
“I can’t pick them, I’m not going.”
“You’re not making sense. We’ve been talking about it for a week. Christ, we’ve all been thinking about it for a month, ever since Ian said Seth wanted to quit doing rescue runs and stick to supplies. You can do this. We have to do it. The warehouse is a dead-end situation. Picking the kids-that’s all hypothetical anyway, if Wayne can come back with hard proof that Zach and Ted are murderers, then maybe Seth will see that we all have to go.”
“Of course I’ll go if we all go. But if he doesn’t, if Seth wants to stay, I’m not just…I’m not just going to leave, it’s too dangerous. I’ll stay here with the kids. There’s food-”
“No there isn’t!”
“Usually, usually there is. There’s protection…” Patty said. “Seth keeps things running here pretty well.”
Sue rubbed her face. “Ohhh, my god. You really believe that, you’d really rather stay.”
“It doesn’t matter, I can’t leave any kids. None of them… none of them deserve that.”
“Shhh!” So that was it. It was a goddamned mother thing. Sue stole a look out the window; no Jeep yet. “Sweetie, Brandy’s gone, you can’t help her. Let me put it to you this way: What would Brandy want you to do? She’d want you to do the thing that was best for everyone, right? Well, staying isn’t good for anyone. This is a place for dying. Think about Plaquemines Parish. Did you ever take Brandy down to Port Sulphur? Did she like it? Well, it’s great, that area, you can grow just about anything, fish, shrimp, it’s breezy… Think about the kids that are here.”
“I am.”
“Think about them growing up here, in this building. They’re not even going to last long enough to grow up. They’re going to starve here.”
“No…they’re exploring I-55, there’ll be something up there.”
“Bullshit. There’s fewer men practically every week to do that, and you know why. You want to do something good for these kids, pick which ones we can take and let’s get the fuck out of here.”
Now Patty was weeping. Jesus, what a drama queen. “You don’t have to take any, if you want. I know you don’t really-”
“All right, all right.” She squeezed Patty’s shoulder and peeked out the window again. “I’m taking the four I said I’d take, and then Sarah, with or without your sorry ass.” She smiled as she said this, realizing that some kids’ eyes were on her.
That woke Patty up. “You can’t. You can’t possibly manage five kids…”
“I can and I will.” Her face was getting warm but she anchored the smile. “Watch me. I’m making this shit happen. I’ll be goddamned if I’m gonna stay here and rot-”
“Sarah’s too little, leave her-” and then Sue stopped hearing. She must have been hyperventilating, because her head felt hot but her mouth felt cold. She ran her fingers through her hair and left the room, went for the stairs. She looked down into the main warehouse area, fully lit now by the afternoon sun through the skylights.
Wayne was downstairs. How did he get here so quietly? She didn’t see a Jeep. He was already talking with Seth, who had on his stained pink shirt and striped tie, like he was still middle management.
Sue ran down the rattling iron stairs.
“…both of them,” Wayne was saying.
Seth nodded gravely and looked up at Sue. She had her mouth open but something in Wayne’s eyes told her to shut it.
“Bad news, Sue: Zach and Ted are dead. Call everyone around.”
The manager’s office bathroom was the only real private room in the warehouse. That’s where Sue waited for Wayne after the meeting, drinking a long-hoarded Abita beer, playing with the candles on the rust-stained toilet that could no longer be used, fixing herself up as best she could in the mirror. Finally, he came in.
“What happened out there? Where’s the Jeep?”
“Shh,” he said.
“They tried to kill you, didn’t they? Why didn’t you tell Seth?”
“I…not really. Maybe they were going to.”
“Maybe? What did Seth say? Will they come?”
“I didn’t put it to them, I don’t think that’s wise.” Wayne put his hand on the wall behind Sue.
“What, we’re just going? Just us, no caravan?”
He dropped his arm. “Seth can’t be trusted.”
She stamped her foot. “How are we going to make it anywhere without that kind of backup, Wayne?”
“Do you hear me? I don’t trust Seth anymore. I don’t think Zach and Ted were acting alone. I think it came from higher up.”
Sue leaned back against the wall. “They did try to kill you.”
“Well, they didn’t get a chance.”
“The dead got them first.”
“I got…you know, I went ahead and shot them.”
“Oh, Christ.”
“I was scared, I kept thinking about the plan, I don’t even know if we were right anymore. I panicked.”
“Shh, it’s okay.” She put a hand on his chest. “You were right, you were right, just like we planned, just a little different. And it’s good you told Seth and all that they were killed by the dead, that’s fine cover, you did good.”
“I don’t know…I worry that they, that Ted or Zach, might…”
“What?”
“Might wander back here, I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“You didn’t finish them?”
“I don’t know!”
“Christ, Wayne. You’re unbelievable, that could really be-”