“He hasn’t touched it since election day.”
“Exactly. He hasn’t said a thing, not about Dana Maguire, not about the dead people staggering around in the street. Ever since the FEC overturned the election, he’s been dodging the issue—”
“Because it’s political suicide,” Dey said. “He’s been dodging it because it’s the right thing to do.”
“Bullshit,” I snapped. “It’s not the right thing to do. It’s pandering and it’s cowardice—it’s moral cowardice—and if we do it we deserve to lose.”
You could hear everything in the long silence that ensued—cars passing in the street, a local staffer talking on the phone in the next room, the faint tattoo of Burton’s fingers against the formica table top. I studied him for a moment, and once again I had that sense of something else speaking through me, as though I were merely a conduit for another voice.
“What do you think about guns, sir?” I asked. “What do you really think?”
Burton didn’t answer for a long moment. When he did, I think he surprised everyone at the table. “The death rate by handguns in this country is triple that for every other industrialized nation on the planet,” he said. “They ought to be melted into pig iron, just like Rob said. Let’s go with the ad.”
“Sir—” Dey was standing.
“I’ve made up my mind,” Burton said. He picked up the sheaf of papers at his elbow and shuffled through them. “We’re down in Texas and California, we’re slipping in Michigan and Ohio.” He tossed the papers down in disgust. “Stoddard looks good in the south, Angela. What do we got to lose?”
We couldn’t have timed it better.
The new ad went into national saturation on December 30th, in the shadow of a strange new year. I was watching a bowl game in my hotel room the first time I saw it on the air. It chilled me all over, as though I’d never seen it before. Afterwards, the room filled with the sound of the ball game, but now it all seemed hollow. The cheers of the fans rang with a labored gaiety, the crack of pads had the crisp sharpness of movie sound effects. A barb of loneliness pierced me. I would have called someone, but I had no one to call.
Snapping off the television, I pocketed my key-card.
Downstairs, the same football game was playing, but at least there was liquor and a ring of conversation in the air. A few media folks from Burton’s entourage clustered around the bar, but I begged off when they invited me to join them. I sat at a table in the corner instead, staring blindly at the television and drinking scotch without any hurry, but without any effort to keep track either. I don’t know how much I drank that night, but I was a little unsteady when I stood to go.
I had a bad moment on the way back to my room. When the elevator doors slid apart, I found I couldn’t remember my room number. I couldn’t say for sure I had even chosen the right floor. The hotel corridor stretched away before me, bland and anonymous, a hallway of locked doors behind which only strangers slept. The endless weary grind of the campaign swept over me, and suddenly I was sick of it all—the long midnight flights and the hotel laundries, the relentless blur of cities and smiling faces. I wanted more than anything else in the world to go home. Not my cramped apartment in the District either.
Home. Wherever that was.
Independent of my brain, my fingers had found my key-card. I tugged it from my pocket and studied it grimly. I had chosen the right floor after all.
Still in my clothes, I collapsed across my bed and fell asleep. I don’t remember any dreams, but sometime in the long cold hour before dawn, the phone yanked me awake. “Turn on CNN,” Lewis said. I listened to him breathe as I fumbled for the remote and cycled through the channels.
I punched up the volume.
”—unsubstantiated reports out of China concerning newly awakened dead in remote regions of the Tibetan Plateau—”
I was awake now, fully awake. My head pounded. I had to work up some spit before I could speak.
“Anyone got anything solid?” I asked.
“I’m working with a guy in State for confirmation. So far we got nothing but rumor.”
“If it’s true—”
“If it’s true,” Lewis said, “you’re gonna look like a fucking genius.”
Our numbers were soft in the morning, but things were looking up by mid-afternoon. The Chinese weren’t talking and no one yet had footage of the Tibetan dead—but rumors were trickling in from around the globe. Unconfirmed reports from UN Peacekeepers in Kosovo told of women and children clawing their way free from previously unknown mass graves.
By New Year’s Day, rumors gave way to established fact. The television flickered with grainy images from Groznyy and Addis Ababa. The dead were arising in scattered locales around the world. And here at home, the polls were shifting. Burton’s crowds grew larger and more enthusiastic at every rally, and as our jet winged down through the night towards Pittsburgh, I watched Stoddard answering questions about the crisis on a satellite feed from C-SPAN. He looked gray and tired, his long face brimming with uncertainty. He was too late, we owned the issue now, and watching him, I could see he knew it, too. He was going through the motions, that’s all.
There was a celebratory hum in the air as the plane settled to the tarmac. Burton spoke for a few minutes at the airport, and then the Secret Service people tightened the bubble, moving us en masse toward the motorcade. Just before he ducked into the limo, Burton dismissed his entourage. His hand closed about my shoulder. “You’re with me,” he said.
He was silent as the limo slid away into the night, but as the downtown towers loomed up before us he turned to look at me. “I wanted to thank you,” he said.
“There’s no—”
He held up his hand. “I wouldn’t have had the courage to run that ad, not without you pushing me. I’ve wondered about that, you know. It was like you knew something, like you knew the story was getting ready to break again.”
I could sense the question behind his words—Did you know, Rob? Did you?—but I didn’t have any answers. Just that impression of a voice speaking through me from beyond, from somewhere else, and that didn’t make any sense, or none that I was able to share.
“When I first got started in this business,” Burton was saying, “there was a local pol back in Chicago, kind of a mentor. He told me once you could tell what kind of man you were dealing with by the people he chose to surround himself with. When I think about that, I feel good, Rob.” He sighed. “The world’s gone crazy, that’s for sure, but with people like you on our side, I think we’ll be all right. I just wanted to tell you that.”
“Thank you, sir.”
He nodded. I could feel him studying me as I gazed out the window, but suddenly I could find nothing to say. I just sat there and watched the city slide by, the past welling up inside me. Unpleasant truths lurked like rocks just beneath the visible surface. I could sense them somehow.
“You all right, Rob?”
“Just thinking,” I said. “Being in Pittsburgh, it brings back memories.”
“I thought you grew up in California.”
“I did. I was born here, though. I lived here until my parents died.”
“How old were you?”
“Four. I was four years old.”
We were at the hotel by then. As the motorcade swung across two empty lanes into the driveway, Gran’s words—
—that was your uncle’s clock, he couldn’t keep it—
—sounded in my head. The limo eased to the curb. Doors slammed. Agents slid past outside, putting a protective cordon around the car. The door opened, and cold January air swept in. Burton was gathering his things.
“Sir—”