“Kev says some suit guy’s been asking about me,” he told her. “Maybe FBI or something.”
“That’s why Kev followed you out to the pool?”
Shy nodded. “The guy might’ve been watching us, too. Kev thinks the whole time we were talking.”
“Ay, creepy.”
Shy shook his head. “I can’t believe people are still asking me questions.”
“They’re being thorough, I guess,” Carmen said. “You know these passengers are all, like, super important, right? Costs a grip to go on a Paradise cruise.”
“That’s what Kev said.”
“Now if it was me or you who went overboard…trust me, there wouldn’t be no FBI involved.”
“Doubt they’d even slow down,” Shy said.
Carmen shook her head. “Probably speed up.”
They both smiled a little and Shy took another sip of wine, passed the empty cup back to Carmen, watched her pour it full again.
“I also got an email from my mom,” he said. “She wants to Skype tomorrow. Says she’s got some bad news.”
Carmen cringed. “Any idea what it is?”
Shy shook his head. “Ever since my grams, though, first thing I always think about is that stupid disease. I swear to God, Carm, if my mom’s sick…I don’t even know.”
“Tell me about it,” Carmen said. “Anytime one of my little brothers even rubs his eyes I freak out.” She reached over to her keyboard and skipped to a different song. Then she looked up at Shy, shaking her head. “We both know how awful it is, that’s why.”
“I heard they might have meds soon.”
“I heard that, too,” Carmen said. “Not that it does jack shit for my papi now. Or your grandma.”
Shy looked at the ground.
As they made their way through another cup of wine, Carmen caught Shy up about her mom’s quilting. Ever since her old man passed, her mom had been on a quilting binge. Quilts hung from every wall in their apartment, she said. They covered every couch and bed and end table. If the woman wasn’t working or sleeping, she was needling her way through another quilt.
Shy told Carmen about the job his older sis had just landed at the elementary school across the street from their building. She was gonna be a teacher’s aide. She’d make a little money and the hours were the same as his nephew Miguel’s preschool, so she wouldn’t have to pay for day care.
“What about your fiancé?” Shy asked, figuring he should ask about that part of her life, too.
“What about him?”
“I don’t know,” Shy said. “What’s his story?”
“He’s good,” she said. “Busy like usual.”
Shy nodded. “He got one of those quilts on his bed?”
Carmen laughed. “You know it. One with a bunch of little musical notes sewn into it. Not that Brett knows shit about music.”
Shy grinned and took the wine handoff. Pulled another long sip. He was already feeling it and he decided it might help him sleep.
“Know what’s weird, though?” Carmen said. “We still haven’t talked about my papi. Me and Brett.”
“Seriously?”
Carmen nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s always been there for me. And he handled all the stuff for the funeral. But I don’t know. He’s never once stopped and asked me how I feel.”
Carmen’s eyes were fixed on the wine inside the cup for a few long seconds, like she was thinking. Then she looked up and said: “He’s buried under them law school books, though. The first year is supposedly the hardest so they can weed out all the fakers.”
Shy nodded. He always felt sort of jealous hearing about Carmen and her man. But if they were gonna be friends, he figured he had to occasionally ask about shit like that.
And that was what he wanted, right?
For him and Carmen to be friends?
Or was it impossible to be friends with a girl you thought was mellow and smart and beautiful?
Shy snatched the wine out of her hand and downed the last of it in one go. Handed back an empty cup.
Carmen went to refill it again, but there was only a tiny bit left. As she held the bottle upside down, letting the last few drops fall into the cup, she changed the subject to their current voyage. Neither of them had ever been to Hawaii, and since they’d both have half a day off, she made him promise he’d take a surfing lesson with her. And go with her to get real shave ice on the north shore. Then she looked at him all concerned-like and said: “Could I ask you a personal question, Shy?”
“Go ’head.” He was feeling so buzzed now he was willing to answer pretty much anything. Even if she asked something crazy like how long it took him to stop wetting the bed as a kid.
“Do you think about it all the time?” she said. “How that guy fell with you right there?”
Shy shrugged. “I guess so.”
“What was it like?”
Shy could picture the comb-over man now. His eyes darting all over the place. His arms and legs going as he fell toward the blackness. “He let go of my arm,” Shy told her. “He wanted his life to be over. It’s what he chose. With that disease, though, you don’t get no choice.”
Carmen looked down at the cup, nodding.
It went quiet between them for a few long seconds. A shared feeling of loss hanging in the air like a gas. Then Carmen cleared her throat and switched the subject back to Hawaii.
6
Space Sancho
They talked a while longer before Shy said: “Anyways, I should probably let you get back to bed.”
“I don’t work till later on,” Carmen said. “So it’s on you, dude.”
“I’m supposed to be at the pool by seven. Guess I should at least try for a couple hours.” He poked the top of her bare foot, said: “Thanks for talking.”
“No worries.” She picked up the empty bottle and spun it so the label was facing her. “Before you go, though. You know the rules. Tell me one new thing about you.”
Shy stared at the wine bottle, thinking.
Carmen ended all their one-on-one conversation this way. It was her thing. He usually told her something basic. Like he didn’t have a middle name. Or he’d lived in LA for a year with his old man. Or his Spanish was the worst of anyone in his family and sometimes he laughed at a joke even when he didn’t understand. But tonight he was feeling confident from the wine, and he wanted to say something important.
“Well?” she said.
Shy looked up at her, trying to think. But he didn’t know what to say. It all seemed too dumb for the moment.
“Come on, Shy,” Carmen said. “We only met each other like two weeks ago. There’s a million things you could probably tell me.”
He shrugged. If he couldn’t think of anything cool, he’d just say what was in his head. “I was on the Honeymoon Deck a while ago, looking at the water, and I thought of something.”
“What?” she said.
“I don’t know. In the grand scheme of things, we’re like little specks of dust.”
Carmen smiled. “Check out Shy getting all deep.”
“For real,” he said, wanting to explain himself. “At one point I was staring up at the sky, and you know what I realized? There’s no way we’re the only living humans in the universe. It’s impossible.”
Carmen put a hand on one of Shy’s shell tops, said: “Don’t tell me you’re one of those UFO people.”
He shrugged. Now that he was talking, he wanted to keep going. Maybe that was the only way he’d understand what he felt. “I’m talking about planets we can’t even see with the highest-powered telescopes. Ones in completely different solar systems.”
Carmen was grinning now. “I’m gonna go ’head and put this on the wine.”
She was right, Shy was seriously buzzing now. He felt like he could say anything that popped into his brain. “And you know what my theory is?”