“Hey, guys, what’s up? Is this the boat we’re looking for, I wonder?”
One of the men raised an eyebrow.
“We might be looking for another vessel,” Julian said, stepping into his role. “These guys were on the Skylla.”
“That was last year,” one of the men said. “This is the new boat. Excuse me, the new ‘vessel.’ ”
The two men exchanged a look. Then they started noticing Ramona and Lucy, and everything tipped in our favor.
“We’ve got all this stuff to set up on the boat,” Gunnar said. “If you don’t mind…”
“Yeah yeah,” the man said. “Go ahead. Take your time.”
Gunnar went up the gangway. Julian and I followed while Ramona and Lucy lagged behind for a little extra face time. There were a few feet of clearance between the dock and the back of the boat, so I couldn’t help noticing when we were directly above the water. The gangway trembled beneath my feet with every step. When we were finally on deck, we put our crates down on the bartop.
“I don’t know this boat,” Julian said. “This might be a problem.”
“So what the fuck,” Gunnar said. “It’s gotta be the same setup, right? We just find the safe.”
Ramona and Lucy arrived on the deck.
“One hell of a boat,” Ramona said.
“It’s even bigger than last year’s,” Julian said. “Just remember to split up when we start going back.”
Julian and Ramona stayed at the bar, taking their time unpacking the wine and keeping a lookout at the same time. Lucy, Gunnar, and I went down the hall to the staterooms. Lucy pushed open the first door and set down her gift basket. The room was small but comfortable. One bed. A television. Everything done in fine wood and polished brass.
Gunnar opened the next door, gave a quick look up and down the hallway, and pointed me to the last few doors. He took the gift basket from me and left me there in the hallway.
I poked my head into each room. I saw more beds, more fine wood, more luxury.
No safes.
“We can’t stay on too long,” Gunnar said when we were both back in the hallway. “It’ll look suspicious.”
We went back out to the bar and down the gangway, Gunnar giving Julian a quick shake of the head as we walked by. Julian waited a few minutes, then followed us. When we were back at the car, we all loaded up with wine crates and gift baskets again.
“You guys go first,” Julian said. “We’ve got to keep it spread out.”
Gunnar and I walked back down the dock. Ramona and Lucy were chatting up the guards now, asking them where the boat was going, who was on board, how often they worked out to get such nice bodies. The two men were eating it up.
I noticed the water again as I passed over it, found myself taking a step too close to the edge and feeling the weight in my arms pulling me over. I regained my balance and kept going, suddenly rattled in a way that never happened when I was on the job.
This time we went downstairs to the lower level. The first room we looked in was by far the largest we had seen so far. A pool table was pushed all the way over to the side of the room, and a half-dozen army cots were carefully arranged to maximize every square inch. This must have been the room Sleepy Eyes had told me about, where all of the bodyguards bunked together and drove each other insane.
He slept right here in this room, I thought. I couldn’t help feeling a shudder run down my back.
Gunnar looked into the next room, but I was already focused on the door at the end of the hallway. I could see that it had a better lock than all of the other doors. When I went down and turned the knob, it didn’t move. So I got down on one knee and took out my lock picks. Tension bar in. Quick rake and boom, it was open. Our first lucky break of the day.
I stepped inside and saw enough scuba gear to outfit the Navy SEALs. On another wall there were a dozen high-end deep sea fishing poles. Then against the far wall, a safe. Our second lucky break of the day.
I shook out my hands and stepped up to the safe.
There was no dial. Only a touchpad.
It was an electronic safe.
Now, there are ways to break into an electronic safe. Apparently, somebody figured out how to program a computer to send out a special wireless signal to the locking mechanism in an electronic safe, working at lightning speed through each possible combination until the right one is hit.
Of course, I didn’t happen to have a computer with me at the time, programmed to send out a special wireless signal or otherwise. In other words, I was totally fucked.
I stood there letting the reality soak in for a while. Then I left the room and closed the door behind me. Gunnar was just coming down the hallway with another gift basket. His eyes got wide when he saw me.
“What’s the problem?”
I motioned him over to the door, opened it for him, and pointed to the safe.
“What? What is it?”
I made a stabbing motion with my finger, like I was keying in a combination on the touchpad. He looked back and forth a few times. Me. The safe. Me. The safe. Then he got it.
“Oh, fuck. Are you kidding me? You can’t open that thing?”
I shook my head.
“There’s got to be a way.”
I shook my head again. He looked like he was about to do his patented gift basket throw again. Then he got his composure back in the next second. He opened up the nearest stateroom door, slammed the basket down on the little table next to the bed, then went up the stairs to the second deck.
Gunnar, Julian, Ramona, and Lucy were all standing at the bar when I finally went up there. I could tell that Gunnar had already told them the news.
“This is all a joke,” Julian said. “You guys are playing a joke on me. There’s not really an electronic touchpad down there.”
“Yeah,” Gunnar said. “It’s a joke, all right.”
“The other boat had a regular safe. I swear.”
“Well, good. Let’s go find that boat and rob it. Whaddya say?”
“What do we do now?” Ramona said.
Julian took the last bottle out of his crate and set it down on the bartop. “We finish our deliveries like good little boys and girls. Then we leave.”
“Four million dollars,” Ramona said. “In a safe. On an empty boat. And we can’t touch it.”
“We could hijack the whole boat,” Gunnar said. “Just take it.”
Julian just looked at him.
“It’s all right,” Gunnar said, slapping my shoulder a little too hard. “I should have known it was too good to be true.”
“Give him a break,” Ramona said. “It’s not his fault.”
“Yeah. I know. They didn’t cover this in safecracking school.”
He walked away from us. He left the ship, went down the gangway, paused for a half second at some smart remark from one of the two guards, then kept walking down the dock.
The rest of us followed. When we were all at the car, we got the rest of the stuff and carried it back on board. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Gunnar just sat there in the car and let us finish the job without him, but he grabbed a big crate of wine and carried it back to the boat. When we were all on board again, we split up to distribute the rest of the baskets. Nobody said a word.
I took my basket down to the lower level. As I walked into one of the rooms, I couldn’t help noticing the faint aroma. The exotic cigarettes, mixed with the cologne. This was his room. The man who owned me and apparently would keep on owning me. Forever.
It felt strange to be standing there, right next to the bed where he would be sleeping every night. A half million dollars of his money just next door in that safe.
I put the basket down on the table. The only thing I would accomplish that day, a thoughtful delivery of various amenities to make his trip a little more enjoyable. Some fine Cuban cigars. A bottle of Lagavulin, aged sixteen years. A German Birko straight razor, complete with shaving brush and shaving cream. A can of L’Amande talcum powder, from Italy. May you enjoy it all, sir. Glad to be of service.