She smiled and followed him to the window. A few minutes later, they were crossing through the night hand in hand. She loved knowing that she was safe but feeling as if she were on an adventure.
When they reached the back of her hotel, she stopped to catch her breath. The whole world seemed to be sleeping. Deep into the shadows she could hear tiny feet scurrying. Alley rats, she thought.
"I'll say good night here” he whispered close to her ear. "I ride out with the captain tomorrow to see if we can find a way for men to cross into the camp without having to go through Skull Alley.”
She sobered, realizing he was going into real danger again.
"What will you have, six or maybe ten Rangers? They'll be easily picked off in that country. One gunman could do it from any one of a dozen cliffs.”
He brushed her shoulder. "The captain's not going to get us killed. Maybe we can find a point where we can watch them coming out. The next time they leave for a raid, we could get a few at a time”
"It's not much of a plan. You could get hurt, and I wouldn't be there to patch you up."
"You could come along” he teased.
"You could not go”
"That's what I do, Sage. I'm good enough with a gun to move in close. If the captain didn't want to go with me, I'd go alone. It pays well, and this time it's personal. They took you”
She pushed her head against his chest. "You're not doing it for the money, and I don't want you getting killed for me”
"It's more than that. I do it so in a few years when this state gets settled, there'll be less men like the count out there to worry about. Maybe one day folks can sleep safe in their beds without worrying that their family could be killed by raiders."
"You're making sense. In fact, you sound a lot like my brothers, but I don't like the idea of you dying.” She laced her hand in his. "I don't have that many friends”
"I'm guessing I probably have the life span of a mosquito, but at least there won't be anyone around to mourn me when I'm gone”
He'd meant it as a joke, but she felt a chill pass through her. She gripped his shirt and whispered the truth, "I will. Drum. I'd mourn you” It shocked her how much.
He was so still she wouldn't have known he was there, if they hadn't been standing so close.
Finally he moved. She could feel him leaning down, brushing his chin against her cheek, touching her lips lightly with his. "Thanks, Sage, but I swear I'll come back. I plan on pestering you until we're both gray."
For once she didn't push away. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him to her. She'd had all the death she wanted for a long while. He'd become a friend; he'd saved her life. "Promise."
He laughed against her ear. "Sage, you're choking me.”
"Good. Then remember to take care of yourself."
"I will.” He straightened an inch away. "And you remember you're not dead.” He pushed his hand inside the coat and touched her waist. "You're still very much alive inside, no matter what that brain of yours thinks.”
She shook her head. He didn't know what she'd gone through. She'd buried her first love, she'd run off her second, she'd worn black for a third. It was time to stop fooling herself into believing that somewhere there was a man out there who could be the great love of her life like her parents had found. Like each of her brothers had found. The odds were not with her. Everyone in the world can't be so lucky.
Drum tilted her chin up. "As a friend, do you mind if I prove it?"
She knew her own heart. He was wasting his time. "How?" she asked as his mouth came down on hers ever so lightly. "This will not work," she mumbled against his lips. "Come on, honey, give it a chance."
She let him kiss her without feeling anything, already knowing that she wouldn't.
After a minute, he pulled back and shook her. "Stop it, Sage."
His anger surprised her and sparked her own. "Just because your kisses don't buckle my knees, don't fire up at me. I told you I don't feel anything.”
"You don't want to feel.”
"Maybe I don't, but you just can't make it happen with a kiss."
A drunk stumbled down the alley. When he passed them, he tipped his hat and said, "Good evening, people. Nice weather were having today," as if they were standing in the street. A few steps later, they heard him throwing up near the privy.
Drum pulled her through the back door of the hotel and into the tiny hallway at the base of the staff stairs. When he closed the door, they were in total darkness. When she laughed, he did too, relaxing the tension between them.
He tugged her to the steps, and they sat down. "Sage.” he whispered. "Just pretend for one minute that I'm someone you could love. Pretend.”
She felt his arms moving around her in the blackness. She wasn't afraid; she'd never been afraid of him. And here in the dark, what did it matter if she did pretend for just a moment? It wouldn't change anything. The only one she'd be fooling was herself.
His arm braced her, and he leaned her back against the stairs.
She didn't move. There was adventure in the air, and she decided to play along.
He began near her ear, whispering words she wasn't listening to as his mouth moved down her throat and up to her lips. In the blackness she was sixteen, being kissed for the first time by a young Ranger she met in Austin. He promised forever. Then she was on her porch, kissing a preacher who refused to carry a gun. He wouldn't get killed; she could live with him forever. Then she was holding Barret, and he was holding her the way she always wished he would. His body wasn't weak but strong and hard against hers.
When Drum reached her open mouth, she was ready for the feel of his kiss. She kissed him back, trying not to think about the Ranger dying, or the preacher running away, or Barret not loving her. She kissed him like a woman kisses a man who cares deeply.
He moved her arms up so that they circled his neck. "That's it, honey. That's the way. Pretend.”
She arched toward him, pressing her breasts against his chest, feeling the familiar warmth of him. His kiss deepened, and she followed, feeling as if she were riding free across a midnight sky.
His hand moved from her waist to her breast. He touched her so gently she almost cried at the tenderness of it. Before she noticed, he'd unbuttoned her jacket and pushed it aside so that his fingers now slid over her silk blouse.
He kissed her until her head spun, then she lay still on his arm while he unbuttoned the blouse and pushed his hand in so that only one thin layer of satin stopped his touch. Then he kissed her deeper than anyone ever had. He kissed her as if he were taking a part of her and giving a part of himself back.
When he pulled away, she sighed and welcomed his touch as she tried to catch her breath and return her heart to a normal beat. She knew this was just pretend, but it felt so good to feel alive.
He let her head lean back as he lifted her and kissed his way down her throat and lower between her breasts. His warm breath moved over her damp skin as his thumb crossed the peak of one breast and made her moan.
She felt his smile. "That's the way. Just enjoy”
He continued the sweet torture for a while, laughing against her when he drove her to moan or cry out softly in pleasure. Each time, before thoughts could form, he'd return to her mouth and kiss her so tenderly she'd open and let him taste all he wanted.
She'd felt his touch for days, when they slept close beside one another, when he lifted her on the horse, when he brushed against her. She'd thought she had grown used to him and his nearness, but this was something different. Something quite different. This felt like a man holding someone he cherished. This was a lover's touch, not just a friend's.
He pulled her back against him and circled his arms around her, then moved his hands back so that he could hold each breast. She shook with how much control he'd taken of her body and started to move away.