"I need you," he said so low he wasn't sure she heard him. "God, how I need you, Sage.”
She froze. How could she tell him? That night in the stairwell had been a mistake. She'd just been pretending, living out a fantasy with the ghosts in her life. It hadn't been him she was kissing. She thought he'd understood that.
He moved behind her. She didn't have to turn around. She could feel the warmth of his body. His nearness had always attracted her like a magnet, but her mind knew there could never be anything between them.
"If you were older, you'd know it's not that simple. You can't just say you need me and expect me to react.”
"I'm old enough," he brushed his hand over her shoulder. "And it is that simple.”
She shook her head. "No, it's not”
"Stay with me tonight. Just sleep beside me like we did on the trail. I need to hold you." He hated himself for asking, but he had to try.
"No.” She couldn't turn around. She knew she was hurting him. She should have stopped this the first time he'd kissed her when he was still more boy than man.
She expected him to argue, to ask again, but he moved away.
She waited until she'd climbed on her horse before looking back, knowing that her refusal may have ended the friendship they'd built. Why couldn't he understand that this wasn't about him, but her? She wasn't brave enough to take the loss of another love. Her love for adventure didn't cross to her heart. The pain was too great. For once in her life, she had to play it safe, and getting involved with a wild gunfighter was definitely not playing it safe.
The campfire cast a low glow all the way to the trees. There was no sign of Drum. He'd disappeared just as he always had as a kid. Only, he was a man now. A man who'd asked to hold her, and she'd turned him down without even facing him.
Sage felt like a coward as she rode back across the stream. Turning him down had hurt deep inside her, and she suddenly didn't like herself. How much would it have cost her just to let him hold her for a few minutes? She doubted anyone had ever held him, and when he'd asked to hold her, she'd turned him down.
Drum had been alone all his life, and tonight, she'd managed to make him feel even more so.
She'd thought she couldn't feel worse, but she was wrong. Her grandfather waited at the edge of the Apache camp for her return. The anger and disappointment in his eyes shocked her.
"I was just-"
He answered in Apache. "I know where you were.”
She felt like a teenager caught behind the barn with a boy. "We were just-"
He shook his head. "I don't care what you were doing. Go back and tell Roak that he is welcome to our fire. A man who saves my granddaughter's life should not sleep on the other side of the water."
"I can't-"
"You can and you will. Teagen tells me he is very brave, and he carries you in his heart. Are you afraid of him?"
"No." The conversation had taken a turn she hadn't expected. Her grandfather lived by a strict code. She'd insulted him by not asking Roak to come into camp. She had no idea what the comment meant about his heart, other than that Drum was constantly worried about her. "He would never hurt me, Grandfather. Teagen is right; we are friends, and he is a very brave man."
"Then go back and invite him to share our campfires. If he does not cross the water, you do not."
Sage had a headache. On a good day her grandfather could easily drive her to drink, and today hadn't been a good day. She wasn't surprised he thought more of Roak than he seemed to of her. To Grandfather, a brave man was highly valued, whereas women, including his four wives, were mostly a bother. When she'd been little, he'd thought she was cute and spoiled her, but now he seemed to think she was a great embarrassment to the family by not being able to keep a man alive long enough to get her pregnant.
"All right, I'll go back and invite him." She turned to the stream. "If he doesn't want to come. Ill drag him over here at gunpoint and tie him to a pole.”
Her grandfather grunted. "Good. I will watch."
Sage splashed back across the water, trying to think about what she could say to Drum to get him to come with her. She'd just insulted him, probably hurt him, and now she wanted to invite him over. Men!
She wasn't surprised to find Drummond's camp empty. He'd be out walking off his anger. She sat down on his bedroll and leaned against his saddle. Maybe if he didn't come back, she could wait half an hour and sneak across the water to her bed. Surely her grandfather wouldn't stay up waiting for her. He was at least seventy years old, she thought. What does a man that age do with four wives?
Sage groaned, closing her eyes. She knew what he did. She'd heard the wives giggling about it.
She heard firewood tumbling to the ground a few feet from her and looked up. Drum stood above her, frowning. He was tall and handsome in his lean, dark way. Dressed in black with his gun worn low and his hat tilted to shade all but his strong jaw from the firelight, he reminded her of what a highwayman of old must have looked like.
"What do you want?" No welcome flavored his words.
"I came back to tell you that you are invited into my grandfather's camp."
He knelt and added more wood to the fire. "No thanks.” "If I said I'm sorry, I didn't intend to hurt you, would you come with me?"
"No," he answered, still looking at the flames. “And you didn't hurt me”
She knew he was lying. Part of her wanted to reach out and touch him, but she had a feeling he wouldn't welcome sympathy. "What do you want from me?" she finally whispered.
"Nothing," he lied again. "I don't want or need anything from you. I never have. I've been alone all my life. What makes you think I need anyone? Go back to your grandfather."
"No."
"That seems to be your favorite word tonight. Sage. Go away."
She stood and faced him.
His gray eyes were cold as he looked down at her. "Tell me, do you turn down every man in your life? Is that why they die on you, from neglect?"
Before she thought, she slapped him so hard she wouldn't have been surprised if her grandfather heard it. She hated Drummond Roak at that moment more than she'd ever hated anyone. How dare he say such a thing to her!
When she raised her hand again wishing more than planning to hit him, he grabbed her wrist with lightning speed.
The sudden thunder of horses startled them both, leaving them frozen in place as Apache surrounded them.
Her grandfather slid from his pony and stormed toward them. For all his complaining of being sick and old this morning, he looked to be in full warrior glory tonight.
"I've heard enough." His words seemed even more powerful in Apache. "If you two plan to argue like you are married, let you be bound."
He twisted a rawhide band around the place where Drum's fist clamped over her wrist. "It is done” He looked at Drum. "She is yours”
"What?" Sage yelled as her grandfather turned around and signaled for his men to leave. As fast as they were surrounded, she stood alone again with Drum.
"No!" she screamed, but all she heard back was the splashing of water as the Apache returned to camp.
"What was that all about?" Drum tugged on the rawhide, trying to get free.
Sage turned on him. "This is all your fault."
"What is?" He tugged again, causing her to stumble into him.
"My grandfather just married us”
"What?" he yelled.
Sage smiled without humor. "There seems to be an echo in this clearing.”
He tugged again.
"Stop hurting me, and cut us free."
He stopped pulling and smiled. "Why, so you can slap me again, wife?"
"Stop calling me that."
He pulled a knife from his boot and sent it flying high into the bark of a nearby tree. "I've changed my mind. I think we'll stay bound."