She looked in the bag. "I think we have cookie crumbs” She pulled one bite-size piece out and knelt as she fed it to him.
After the food was gone, she twisted, using his chest as her pillow, and they watched the sky. His hand gently stroked her hair. The gentleness of his touch warmed her from the inside. Sometimes when he was like this, she felt treasured. When others were around, he could be distant, even cold, but when only the two of them were together, she felt as if he let his guard down, and she saw who he really was.
"You know, Drum, I think I'm finally getting used to you being around” Much as he didn't care for being just her friend, she trusted him.
"Good," he answered as if he wasn't really listening. "It's about time.”
She rose and propped her elbow on his chest. "Despite all the ways you irritate me, there are two things about you that I can't figure out. First, why you insist we're made for each other, and second why, of all the men in the world, you're the only one who knows how to make me feel so alive inside”
He circled her shoulders and tugged her down. "Let's talk about the second one first.” He laughed as he lowered his mouth. "Then maybe you'll figure out the first on your own”
She felt the now-familiar bolt of pleasure and welcomed it. His kiss was soft and tender until she opened her mouth, then they both felt the fire. Tonight there was no one around to walk in or to hear them. Freedom was a drug they shared.
He pushed her on her back. His hands moved over her as his kiss made her mindless. When he unbuttoned her blouse, she struggled as if to pull away, but he didn't break the kiss, and his loving strokes continued over her, asking more than insisting that she come with him on this journey.
When she pushed again, he moved an inch away. "Come along with me tonight," he whispered. "I promise I won't hurt you. Trust me."
She relaxed, realizing she did trust him and far, far more. He might never say the words she wanted to hear, but she knew he felt them.
He finished opening her blouse and then her camisole.
As his hand crossed over her bare flesh, she jerked again, only this time in pleasure. She wanted his caress, needed it. She felt as if she'd lived through a long winter, and his touch brought the spring.
He moved down her body, exploring her every curve, tasting her skin as if she were a priceless gift he was unwrapping. Sage stretched and moaned as he removed her clothes until his hands slid over her skin without barrier. When she thought she could go no higher, he shifted, opening her legs as his exploration and his kisses moved lower.
Sage gulped for breath. "Where did you learn to do that?" she whispered as waves of passion rolled over her.
"Lessons?" he whispered, too busy to say more.
Sage was beyond forming words. All she could do was feel. Tiny rivers tingled through her body, joining at the core to form a raging river washing all thought away and leaving only passion cutting deeply into her soul.
All she wanted to do was beg him to never stop. She'd kissed a few men, been touched by two, a tentative brush atop her clothing, but nothing like this. Drum was bold and attentive. When she moaned in pleasure, he gave her what she wanted: more.
When he brought her to climax, Sage cried out and shook with pleasure. Her heart pounded. Her breath came in rapid gulps. Her mind exploded, with every part of her body sending messages all at once. Nothing had prepared her for the joy. She was riding high across the stars.
He sat up and lifted her onto his lap, cuddling her to him as she jerked in the aftershock of a passion she never dreamed existed.
When she finally returned to sanity, he was still holding her, stroking her, loving her. His hands pushed her hair back from her face so the cool night air moved over her hot flesh.
"I never felt…" She wasn't sure how to put it into words.
"I know," he whispered against her ear. "I knew you'd like it. You'll feel even more next time. You'll climb higher.”
She knew about sex. She'd been raised on a ranch. But she'd never guessed this kind of passion could come with it. "Any higher, and the fall will kill me.” She laughed.
He nibbled on her throat. "I'll be there to catch you, honey."
He wrapped the ends of the blanket around her and lay behind her while the fire burned a few feet in front of her. When his arm circled over her, she noticed he was still fully dressed.
"Drum," she asked. "Why didn't you try to take your pleasure?" She knew she wouldn't have stopped him if he had.
"Believe me, Sage, feeling you was very pleasant, but I promised I'd only bed you when you came to me. Once you come to me without being coached by even one kiss, you'll be mine forever, and I swear I'll never let you go?"
She could feel his erection pressing against her hips and knew there was nothing physically wrong with the man who held her. He wanted her, he'd always wanted her, but he wanted all of her, and she wasn't willing to give herself into another's trust so completely. She'd fought too long and hard for her independence.
"Drum. I don't want to love-"
"Hush," he whispered. "Don't think about it. Just rest for a while. If you go to sleep. I'll wake you in an hour and ask what you dreamed."
CHAPTER 38
THANKSGIVING MORNING, BONNIE WENT ABOUT HER work like it was a regular day. There had been no holidays in her life for years. She made sure all the rooms were ready if needed, then she sat at her desk by the window and wrote out a list of supplies she planned to order from Austin.
She told herself if she acted as if nothing were amiss, then nothing would be. Yet no matter how hard she tried to concentrate, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. Most of the time she forced herself not to look out the window, but when she did, she saw nothing, only winter-dry pasture, a half-finished barn still in need of doors, and an empty corral.
If it was a man from the outlaw camp come to fetch Sage for Count Hanover, she'd die before she told him where Sage was, which would mean, of course, that they'd kill her. If it hadn't been for her cowboy, they would have already finished the job at Shelley's gambling house, so Bonnie figured she was on borrowed time already.
There was also the slim possibility that someone could be out in the trees watching the house, hoping to get a shot at the boys. After all, raiders had already tried to kill them once. Will still talked about the bad men who killed his father, and Andy had nightmares he wouldn't talk about. If those men found the boys, they'd shoot her if she tried to stop them.
Bullet the cat wrapped around her leg, and Bonnie voiced her worries. "It's little comfort knowing no one is out to murder me”
She picked up her teacup and went to the kitchen. The feeling of being watched went with her. Sage had ordered tall windows in every room. She wanted the light, but today the windows only made Bonnie feel exposed and alone. Though she spoke to several people in town, none had become friends. No one would visit her today.
By noon the wind blew in strong from the north, howling and rattling the house almost as if someone were trying to break in. Bonnie checked all the locks but felt no safer. As the day aged, clouds moved in, dark and brooding. She picked up the rifle Sage mounted over the fireplace in the kitchen and walked onto the front porch.
The cold wind fought to push her back, but she stood her ground. She could see smoke coming out of several chimneys in town. It wasn't all that far, she told herself. She could run for help if trouble came or fire a warning shot. But the only trouble was a sense of being watched, and she'd feel like a fool for throwing a fit over that.
She marched inside, locked the door, and stormed down the hallway to the back of the house. Once outside, she sat on the rocking chair Daniel or Drummond sometimes used and laid the rifle over her lap. She'd deal with this fear as she'd always dealt with fear… alone.