“The question is,” he said, “what are you two doing?” Neither Alyss nor Dodge answered.
“Playing mushy, mushy love with the princess, are we?” He laughed and approached Alyss, touched the jabberwock tooth hanging at her throat.
“Leave that alone,” Dodge warned.
“Sweet Princess, when we’re older and you’re my wife, I’ll give you presents of diamonds and more diamonds, not the rotten teeth of stupid animals.”
“Just go away,” Alyss pleaded.
“Leave her alone,” said Dodge. “I mean it.”
Jack of Diamonds turned to face this son of a guardsman. He put a finger to his lips and pretended to be deep in thought. “Let me see now…ah, I’ve got it. Eenie meenie miney moo, I’m more important than you.”
Dodge flung out his fists and knocked Jack to the floor, left him splayed there with his wig askew, looking not at all like a person of high rank. Dodge braced himself for a fight, but Jack scrambled to his feet and ran out of the room and down the corridor toward the royal gardens.
“We have to get out of here if we don’t want to be in trouble,” Alyss said. “He’ll tell his father on you.”
It wasn’t at all the sort of thing a guardsman should do, but Dodge grabbed Alyss’ hand and led her to a life-size sculpture of Queen Issa, Alyss’ great-grandmother. He pressed on the ruby at the front of Issa’s crown and a door in the wall appeared, opening on to one of the many servants’ tunnels that ran under Heart Palace.
“Where’re we going?” Alyss asked. “You’ll see.”
Hand in hand they raced off down the tunnel, past guardsmen headed to their watch-posts, past servants carrying platters of jollyjellies, fried wondercrumpets, and tarty tarts.
CHAPTER 6
I F YOU’RE a queen, even the most lighthearted conversation on a festive day can lead to a discussion of troublesome topics. In the royal gardens, Genevieve found herself talking to the Lady of Clubs and the Lady of Spades about the unwelcome influence of Black Imagination societies on Wonderland’s youth.
“I hear they drink jabberwocky blood,” said the Lady of Spades.
“Well, I think it’s disgusting that children today take for granted the peace and harmony that currently
exist in the queendom,” declared the Lady of Clubs. “It’s as if they want to destroy the current state of things just for the sake of destroying it.”
“We have members of the Millinery working undercover, infiltrating many of the groups,” Queen
Genevieve informed them. “Really?”
The Lady of Clubs encouraged any endeavor that might weaken Genevieve’s grip on the throne. She smiled at the queen and decided, not without reluctance, to end her sponsorship of Black Imagination societies. It was as she came to this determination that Jack of Diamonds, running along a heart-shaped passage toward the gardens, suddenly found himself lifted off his feet, his wig again knocked askew. He wriggled to get free, his feet pedaling the air.
“What’s the rush, little fellow?” asked Bibwit Harte. “What seems to be the trouble?” “You’re the little fellow!” Jack said.
“Hmm, well…in the grand scheme of the cosmos, I am a little fellow. We’re all quite little, if you think about it that way. Good point, Jack.”
Jack didn’t know what the pale scholar was talking about and didn’t care. “Unhand me, you tutor!” With his feet once again on solid ground, trying to right his wig but succeeding only in turning it almost
completely backward, Jack of Diamonds explained how he had been minding his own business when, all
of a sudden, Dodge jumped out from behind a bookcase, knocked him to the ground and dirtied his pantaloons. Jack had only meant to rescue the princess, whom Dodge the commoner had been trying to kiss, and now he was on his way to tell his father and Queen Genevieve so that they’d deport Dodge to the Crystal Mines, which surely wasn’t too great a punishment for such serious crimes.
“Those are serious crimes,” agreed Bibwit Harte. “But, Jack, don’t you think it’s time you started handling the responsibilities of your rank?”
The boy grew suspicious. “Maybe.”
“At your age, you shouldn’t need your father’s help administering punishments. I will hunt out the culprit and bring him to you. Go and enjoy a nice bit of tarty tart and say nothing of this terrible incident to anyone until I return. You will surprise the queen with your judicious punishment of Dodge, I’m sure.”
Bibwit watched the boy strut up the passageway, his round rear jiggling left, right, left, right, all the way to the royal gardens. With his ultra-sensitive ears, Bibwit Harte had heard everything that had happened in the Issa Room. Only when he was positive that Jack would say nothing of the trifling matter to the queen or the Lord of Diamonds, only when he heard the boy greedily munching on a tarty tart, did he set out after Alyss and Dodge. Cocking his head, as might a dog hearing a strange, high-pitched noise, he
listened to far-off sounds. He heard a husband and wife discussing their upcoming safari in Outerwilderbeastia. He heard a shopkeeper totaling up his accounts three streets away. And then he heard a mishmash of humble voices. Using his hearing as a guide, he made his way out of the palace.
Alyss and Dodge ran through the servants’ tunnels, Alyss yelping with laughter and quite enjoying herself, Dodge all business, until he shouldered open a door and they stepped out into the light of
Wondertropolis. For the first time in her life, Alyss Heart was outside the grounds of the palace.
“Whoa.”
It was a festive scene: Wonderlanders dancing, playing musical instruments, and acting out
mini-theatricals. A shopkeeper spotted Alyss and, with respectful expressions of good wishes for her health, dropped to his knees. Seeing who was among them, Wonderlander after Wonderlander followed his example and, in less than half a minute, Alyss and Dodge were standing at the center of a bowing, reverent audience.
“Uh, yeah,” Dodge said in a loud voice to no one in particular, “she looks a lot like Princess Alyss, doesn’t she? But her name’s Stella. She’s nobody.”
The Wonderlanders lifted their heads and turned to one another. How could this beautiful girl with her soft eyes and her black hair styled like the princess’ not be Alyss Heart? Their confusion vanished with the appearance of Bibwit Harte. If the royal tutor was after her, then the girl had to be Princess Alyss.
At the sight of Bibwit, Alyss shouted, “Run!” But the scholarly albino was pretty fast and would have caught up with them in no time if his robe hadn’t sprouted the fluorescent feathers of a tuttle-bird, ballooned around him, and lifted him into the air.
“Alyss, noooo!”
Dodge glanced back. “What-?”
“I didn’t exactly mean to do it,” said Alyss. This was not how she should have been using her imagination and she knew it. “I just didn’t want him to catch us.” She’d had the faintest glimmer of an imagining to slow Bibwit down and then-bam!-it became a reality.