My thoughts went around and around in circles. I knew I’d fallen into a bad state, but I had no clue what I was supposed to do about it.
How long had I been lost in thought? I heard the sound of a knock and looked up.
“Coming in,” Menel said, opening the door and entering without any hesitation. Noticing how dark the room was, he screwed up his face and quietly called out to a fairy of light to illuminate the room. “You’re still thinking about it.”
“Yeah.”
Menel sighed. “So that’s why you didn’t notice. Look outside. Things are getting a little bit hairy out there.”
“Huh?”
Now that he mentioned it, it did seem a little noisy outside. I opened the shutter a little way and took a peek outside the window. There was a whole crowd of dwarves in front of the mansion.
“We want to hear the paladin’s thoughts!”
“Does he mean to slay the dragon or not?!”
I could see Grendir, and Ghelreis, and others I knew as well. They were all old dwarves with crude weapons over their shoulders, calling out to be heard.
“And what do you intend to do with the answer?!” Facing them was Al, standing on his own in opposition to all the other dwarves. He no longer trembled as he did that day.
“If he is thinking about slaying it, we demand to go with him!”
“And if the spirit of fear has taken hold of the Paladin, we intend on heading to the mountains on our own!”
“We dwarves are to blame for the failure to slay this dragon!”
“It is dwarven blood that must be spilled!”
“Our dishonor must be washed away with blood!”
Voice after voice cried out loudly.
“Stop this! It’s suicide!” Al spread his arms and shouted back. “The dragon is a formidable foe, and the Paladin has a plan in mind! Do not disrupt it!”
“I don’t know what you’ve been ordered, but stop trying to stall for time!”
“I have not been ordered a thing! I am telling you not to be reckless!”
“You call us reckless?!”
“Even if all of you unite to take on the dragon, you will be unable to deal him a single scratch!”
“What did you say?!” One of the dwarves had had enough. Declaring that he was letting himself through to ask me my plans, he stormed up to Al and made a grab at him.
“I told you to stop!” In a single flowing motion, Al knocked the dwarf’s arm out of the way, lifted him off his feet, and dropped him against the ground back-first. The crowd of dwarves broke into murmurs at this display of skill. “You are
— You have aged, all of you, so much that you cannot even win against me! Stop this! I do not wish for you all to die meaningless deaths!”
As Al shouted out in a clear voice with his head held high, everyone was silent.
Then Grendir stepped forward and slowly opened his mouth to speak.
“Young master…”
“Grendir.”
The two looked at each other.
“Young master. You have grown well. You are a sight to behold. But, but you see, that is why…” Grendir’s face crumpled. “It has been long enough… We…
simply want to die…” He forced the words out. “We wished to die with our lord, on that day, in that battle, on those mountains. We have lived two hundred years since death was denied us that day. They were long centuries, spent swallowing our pride as wretched vagabonds.”
Al listened in silence and didn’t shy away from his words.
“We kept telling ourselves we had done enough, we had done enough, we had had enough, our obligations were fulfilled… and now, finally, we have learned that detestable dragon is alive! What is so wrong with wishing to continue from that day?! What is so wrong with wishing for battle and death?!” Grendir grabbed hold of Al as he shouted. Al allowed it and grabbed back firmly. “Let me pass! I will make the Paladin speak his mind!”
“I refuse!”
Grendir’s aged yet still muscular body soared through the air before slamming down in the yard. As if that was their signal, the other old dwarves descended on Al. Al struck them, threw them, and floored them. There were a few minutes of shouts and groans as they scuffled, and at the end, it was Al who remained standing.
“You asked me what was so wrong, Grendir.” Al stood tall as he addressed the dwarves lying flat and groaning in the yard. “All of your heads are so full of thoughts of death that you are not thinking of victory. That will not do. You must know that. When the proud warriors of the mountains lay down their lives and charge into battle, they do so to win.” His eyes were earnest, and his voice was kind. “It was all of you who taught me this.”
— One thing is always on their minds, day in and day out. The question ofwhat is worth laying down their life for. What is their reason to fight. Blood’s words revived in my mind.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry. I will make you all a promise.”
— And when they find it…
“The Paladin will make up his mind. And when he does, I will go with him, and we will win back the glory of the dwarves!”
— They go into battle with their souls burning with the fire of courage, andnever once fear death.
“I, Vindalfr, grandson of Aurvangr, last monarch of the Iron Country, swear upon my grandfather’s name that I will take back the mountains that were once his!”
That cry was felt not just by the dwarves but by me as well. My heart beat loudly, and a heat spread through me from deep inside my chest. Now that I thought about it, Al had always been this kind of person. He was like this when I first met him in the tavern, and he was like this when he cried out that he’d become my squire. He had always been someone brave, and I had sworn to protect the ‘sincerity’ he offered me with my own hands.
“He’s pretty cool,” Menel muttered.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“We’ve gotta keep up.”
“Yeah.”
“Hey, do you remember?”
“Remember what?”
“Your oath.”
I couldn’t help but give a small smile. “Sorry. I forgot it for a moment.”
“Heh. I thought as much.”
— I dedicate my whole life to you! As your blade I will drive away evil, andas your hands I will bring salvation to those in sorrow!
“You go through working out pros and cons and whether you can win or not, but the final outcome’s always been something you never bother to think about.
Am I right?”
If pros and cons were what concerned me, I could have left Beast Woods alone. I could have gone literally anywhere else.
“You did what you did ’cause it was the right thing to do. So all you gotta do is keep that up.”
Menel smiled. I smiled back.
There was no need to think about how to stand up or summon courage. As you struggle desperately forward to protect someone or fight for something you believe in, courage comes afterwards all by itself.
Once I’d made my decision, the rest was quick.
I walked to my front door with Menel, who was kind enough to come with me. I think we were both smiling. I opened the door and, in front of Al and all the other dwarves, including the dirt-covered one who’d been thrown on the ground, I made my declaration.
“I will slay the dragon!”
Everyone stopped moving with the same shocked look on their faces.
I composed my expression and posture and continued speaking. “I have decided that I will go to slay the dragon. Al — Vindalfr — I commend your words about taking back your grandfather’s mountains. Will you accompany me?”