“Sean-don’t be like this.”
That was rich, coming from a woman who’d lied to him for thirteen years. Lies of omission were still lies. “I’m serious. If I need something, I’ll call.” He hung up. “Don’t say anything.”
Kane didn’t speak. Sean was angry, but more angry with himself. He had wanted to talk to Lucy, but when? In front of Siobhan? Wake her up in the middle of the night? Damn, he couldn’t sleep most of the night, but he must have crashed late because he hadn’t even heard Lucy get up.
He was embarrassed by his past behavior. His irresponsibility. Angry at Madison for keeping this secret. Worried about Jesse, a kid he didn’t know, depending on a man he thought of as his father who was a criminal. Sean wanted his son in his life, but what would he say when he met the kid? I’m your dad, I love you.
And he felt selfish and then guilty for feeling that way. Why did this have to happen now? Why six weeks before his wedding? Why couldn’t this have happened two years ago, before he met Lucy? Or in two months, after they were married and back from their honeymoon.
There was no good time to be told you had a half-grown child.
“You didn’t tell her, did you?”
How did Kane know things he shouldn’t know?
“There wasn’t time.”
“Call her.”
“I’m not telling her over the damn phone.” And that was that, subject dropped.
Kane turned into the small private airport that Sean used. They checked in with the desk, filed a flight plan that was as vague as they could get away with, and Kane walked over to the edge of a runway. “Wow. Nice ride. Where’d you get it?” Sean couldn’t help but admire the Piper Seneca.
“Friend of JT’s. He knows everyone, and everyone seems to owe him a favor.”
“Who else knows?”
“I haven’t told anyone, but the kid looks just like you, Sean. JT didn’t ask. He didn’t have to.”
“I fucked this up.”
“You did shit. This is on Madison. What you do from this moment forward is on you.”
Sean said, “I’m flying.”
“Good, because I didn’t sleep last night.”
Sean got himself familiar with the Seneca. He asked Kane, “You talked to Rick-what does he know about the situation in Laredo?”
“Nothing more than Armstrong and Lucy know. I gave him information about my search for the girls when they first disappeared. The guy they worked for is clean. Believe me, I pushed. He gave me access to his employees, I found a few lowlifes, but no one with ties to the girls or to trafficking. I tracked law enforcement, they didn’t find anything-no bodies have popped up that could be the girls.” He paused. “I know they were grabbed in the middle of the night. Their roommates were paid off by some lowlife to disappear. I think they’re dead.”
“Siobhan didn’t tell me that.”
“She doesn’t know because it led nowhere. I tracked down the lowlife. Throat slit. Whoever he was working for took care of loose threads.”
Sean hesitated. As if Kane could read his mind, he said, “Rick-and you-vouch for Armstrong. And I planted some seeds in Rick’s head that they may want backup they can trust down there, that this case could either disappear with no leads or blow wide open.”
“Nate.”
Sean would feel better if Nate was watching Lucy’s back.
“I could send in my people, but we’re spread thin right now. Partly because I’ve been out of commission. Let’s get your kid back on US soil and then we can both be involved.”
“Lucy absorbs everything. These investigations-yes, she’s good, I trust her, but she can lose herself.”
“You love her. I get it.” Kane closed his eyes. “It’s why I don’t get involved.”
“You don’t? Really?” Sean would have laughed if he weren’t so worried. “Then what was that thing with Siobhan in my kitchen?”
Kane didn’t respond. Typical.
Sean finished getting himself familiar with the plane so he could take her up.
Madison McAllister Spade paced the hotel room. How could she go back to California when her son was missing? When her husband wouldn’t return her calls? When her entire world was falling apart and she could do not one thing to stop it?
She had never wanted Sean Rogan to know about Jesse. In a perfect world, she would have stood up to her father and told Sean from the beginning… or, maybe not. She’d been nineteen. Sean wasn’t even eighteen when they were dating, though he was far more mature, and a lot more fun, than anyone her age. They’d been silly and stupid and she knew exactly when they conceived Jesse. Four weeks before Sean was expelled, the first weekend after classes started, Sean had flown them to Las Vegas, bought quality fake IDs, and they gambled and drank and went to shows for two amazing nights. Sean had won a huge amount of money at blackjack, and she suspected he was counting cards-he was that good. And it was that weekend he’d told her about the professor who had child porn on his computer.
She’d told him to turn the professor over to the university. Then he admitted that he’d hacked the computer to play a prank on the guy because he was a jerk and that’s when he found the videos.
“They won’t care about that-if he has child pornography, you might get a slap on the wrist.”
“I think they’ll bury it. Remember the fraternity that was accused of feeding girls mickeys at that blowout party last spring? Slap on the wrist because no one could prove who was behind it. Big institutions want to make problems disappear. Then there’s the fact that he’s a tenured professor.”
“Sean-what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. But I’m going to expose him, one way or the other.”
What would she have done if Sean hadn’t been expelled? If she didn’t have an excuse to keep her pregnancy secret? Would she have stood up to her father and told Sean about the baby? Would she have expected a wedding? A commitment? He hadn’t loved her. Not then. Maybe he could have learned to…
She could lie to herself all she wanted, but he didn’t love her like she loved him, and she didn’t want to be the burden. The girl who had to get married. The girl who roped a guy into a family. They had fun, and that’s all it was. He was smart and exciting, he treated her very well, he was considerate… but he didn’t love her.
As it was, she’d left school after the semester ended, before she started to show, and transferred to UCLA. Because even though Sean went to Stanford for only a year, he had made a lot of friends. She didn’t keep in touch with any of them. She rebuilt her life in LA.
She’d gone through a litany of emotions from grief to embarrassment to anger to sorrow. She considered an abortion-had even made an appointment-but in the end, she couldn’t keep it. This baby was part of her, and deep down she knew that no matter what her father thought of Sean Rogan, he had good genes. He was attractive and smart. He was a genius. If she’d gone to a sperm bank and checked the boxes of what she wanted in a donor, Sean Rogan would have been at the top of the list.
Carson Spade was the opposite of Sean in so many ways, though just as handsome and just as endearing. But Carson wasn’t wild. He was five years older than her, stalwart, a businessman who cared about image and status. She wanted to tell herself she didn’t care about those things, but that would be a lie. She did because her father expected it. He wanted the whole package, not just money, but stature, respect, respectability. Carson Spade was everything her father wanted in a son-in-law, so when they started dating a year after Jesse was born, he’d gone from boyfriend to fiancé in a matter of months. He loved Jesse as if he were his own son. And that was one of the reasons Madison loved Carson. He loved Jesse unconditionally. He didn’t care who his father was, and didn’t hold it against her for keeping the information from Sean.