Sebastian woke up to the sound of something crashing to the floor and the muffled curse of a servant. Standing up, he shook off the last of the dream and readied himself for an afternoon with the only true innocents on the island.
Eight
The children always refreshed Sebastian in body and spirit. Their teacher was a truly gifted woman, and they had learned from the first that sharing was its own reward. The one little blind girl never lacked for someone to help her down the walkways or to read her the arithmetic problems.
By the time dusk settled on the castillo, he had rinsed off the salt and sand and dressed, ready for his next guest. Sitting in the chair near the fireplace with the smallest of fires, totally unnecessary but very comforting, Sebastian thought about what Joubay had said in his dream. Or it could be that some of the children’s innocence touched his heart. Before he could decide, he heard Isabelle’s voice and walked to the door and out onto the passage that overlooked the inner bailey.
“I will come to you when you need me. I will free you from all your fear. All you must do is accept me and believe that I am always near.”
He felt wet on his hand and brushed another tear from his face. As she finished the song, the words that touched him echoed through his head. “I will free you from all your fear. All you must do is accept me.”
No one had ever named it “fear” before. Sebastian realized that he had not even thought of it that way until the moment the words were out of Isabelle’s mouth.
Fear. He was afraid, afraid of a hundred things.
Afraid that if he loved again, he would die. Not that death frightened him, but it would mean that there was so much that he would never have a chance to do.
He would like a chance to give back to more than his island home. To see the world denied him for so long. To meet men and women like his villagers. People who thought more of others than of themselves.
Fear hounded him. Fear that he did not know how to love. Love was as imperfect as the lover. His way of loving had cost Angelique her life. Was the fear of losing another lover what had kept him from finding someone in two hundred years? He’d never been able to decide if that was part of the curse or his own failing.
The biggest fear of all was that Isabelle would die if he even tried to love again. He put his head in his hand and let the tears fall. Fear weakened him so completely that Sebastian put his head in his hands and cried like a child.
Isabelle left the castillo, annoyed that the master had not shown himself when she had finished her song. He took time to encourage everyone else in the world, everyone but her.
She searched out the spot she called her own, a small grove of very old palms that had the feel of a holy place. She sat on one of the stumps and wished for someone to talk to.
The palms clacked in the light evening breeze. Isabelle did not think that was a divine message. No more than the surf or the sound of the night was. But it did inspire her to sit in silence, and lift her heart in prayer, to be part of nature as nature was part of her. She tried to convince herself that she was not lonely.
An amazingly bright shooting star lit the sky and Isabelle laughed. “Yes, I know I have only to speak from my heart and I am heard. I know some hymn that teaches that truth. But at this particular moment I would like someone to talk with.”
“You could talk to me, Isabelle.” Sebastian emerged from the shadows and sat across from her on the trunk of a palm tree that had fallen in some storm ages ago.
“Where were you tonight?” she asked with an edge to her voice.
“You sang ‘Be Still and Know I Am Here.’ Doesn’t that apply to you too?”
“Yes,” she said, which showed how good she was at preaching but not at living what she preached. “It’s one thing to say the words and another to live them.”
“It took me a while to deal with my fear.”
“What fear?”
“The list would take too long. But the biggest fear is that I will lose what I love the most.”
“It’s inevitable, Sebastian. We all face that fear.”
“Yes, but we don’t all cause death like I did.”
“You do think of yourself as ‘the master,’ don’t you? It happened for a hundred reasons, dear man, and one of them was to bring the two of us together. How else to match two destined souls born almost two hundred years apart?”
“Now, that is a fantasy.”
She laughed. “No more than being lost in paradise for two hundred years.”
“So you think predestination brought us together?”
“Not for a minute. I think a hundred things could have kept us apart. But by some miracle I came here and you listened.” Tears filled her eyes and tracked down her cheeks, not tears of sadness but an overflow of such profound belief she could not hold them back.
“Father Joubay called your curse a miracle of the devil’s making. I think he is wrong. This is a miracle of the highest order.”
“Miracle as torture?” he asked, and she had to agree that it had not been easy for him.
“Maybe all heartache is a gift in disguise. Maybe all good events have some darkness shadowing them.”
She came to him, the tears gone, and looked up into his face, overwhelmed in the best possible way by his physical power and presence. “Sebastian, maybe there is no pure good and bad in the world, but one grand invitation for us to live life to the fullest.”
He smiled, not quite showing his dimples, and kissed her as if it was the only answer he could give. That kiss, filled with a sweetness she had never felt before, gave her hope. He leaned back and now there were dimples showing. “This is too much theology for me. I came to invite you to watch the moon rise with me.”
“All right.” Indeed she had said quite enough. “I imagine you know the perfect spot.”
“I do.” He bowed a little and offered his arm.
She took his hand. It startled him and she decided it would be an evening of discovery for both of them. “Is it far?”
“On the top of the fort.”
“Let’s hurry. I don’t want to miss a moment.”
Isabelle held tight to his hand as they hurried up a ramp, to move guns, he said. They dashed around the outer wall where the gun mounts stood empty and up three sets of stairs. At the very top of the castillo there was a long line of guardhouses that marked the side of the fortress that faced the harbor.
All the while they held hands. His hold was awkward and she loved him all the more for it.
Isabelle let go of his hand, walked over to the wall and looked out to the harbor.
She loved him.
Of course she did. Stupid girl, she chided herself. How else was this story to play out? She could hardly give herself to a man without love. Had actually worried about it a little, knowing how much she wanted him. Now she did not have to worry about it anymore. This was living life to the fullest for her. She had no doubt.
Isabelle twirled around and leaned back on the rock and instantly felt the rock give way. She choked out a scream as she fell, the backs of her knees hitting the broken part of the wall and sending her into the black night.
“No!” Sebastian roared. He grabbed her hand, pulling her into his arms. They fell to their knees. Isabelle held on to him as if he were the only real safety in her world. She buried her face in his chest as she heard the broken chunk of the wall bounce off another rampart and fall into the sea.
“I was going to tell you how perfect that spot was,” Isabelle whispered. “But this spot with your arms around me is even better.”
Sebastian leaned back and took her face in his hands. “Do not die, do you hear me? I cannot have another life on my conscience.”