“In the end,” she told him, “we can’t win. You know that, right?”
Surprised at her words, he raised an eyebrow.
“That’s why I let you do what you just did,” she said. “It’s only fair that I tell you, Captain. I took a vow long before this. My past won’t allow me the kind of emotional attachment you’re craving.”
“Me?” asked Maddox.
Meta nodded sadly. “I am what I am. That can’t ever change. I was an assassin, and I did whatever I had to in order to succeed for my world.”
“What does any of that have to do with this?” he asked.
“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a nice person. I’m a killer with a pretty face. You’re… a unique man. I could learn to like you too much. That won’t do.”
He frowned at her.
“I don’t want to be hurt, you see. You’re the kind of man who unintentionally hurts women. I’ve had to armor myself for the things I’ve done. To let a man like you past the armor would destroy me. Of course, I’m already destroyed, but you don’t want to hear about that. None of this matters, though, because we’re doomed to die out here.”
Maddox scratched his cheek. For a moment, he wondered if his difference from others meant he could never know love as regular people did. Meta was unusual, and she kept herself emotionally separate from others. Is that why she despaired now?
“You understand what I’m saying, don’t you?” Meta asked.
Maddox had an inkling of what she wanted to hear. So he shook his head.
“You’re lying,” Meta said softly. “You think you don’t have to pay the bitter price of your power, your unusual abilities. In this, I see more clearly than you do.”
Maddox let himself go blank so nothing showed on his face. Meta wasn’t going to be easy, he could see. So be it. What was the right move now? Hmm… yes, he believed he knew.
The captain squared his shoulders. “Let me ask you a question.”
“Yes?” she asked.
“If we’re doomed, as you say, why not strive with every fiber in you to defeat the night? Why go quietly down to death? Let’s fight oblivion together. Let’s fight to live longer and do more than simply quit. If you admit defeat, the game is already up. If you strive, well, who knows, maybe we’ll produce another wonder.”
Meta turned away.
Maddox waited. He’d made his attempt for now. He had time, and he had a hunter’s patience. He wanted her, and he was going to get her.
“Yes,” Meta said, looking up. “Let’s try. What do we have to lose?”
Won one and lost one, with the opportunity to continue the game. That’s not bad for playing a hunch.
Maddox verbally agreed with Meta. Then they returned to the starship’s wardroom.
-39-
Two days later on the bridge, Lieutenant Noonan sat back in frustration. She had spent the last forty-eight hours trying to figure out how to use some of the instrument panels in order to scan the nearest star systems.
Captain Maddox used a thin metal rod to press tentacle-slot controls. He had become more cautious since accidentally locking them in here and draining the atmosphere a day ago. At the last moment, he’d figured out how to reverse what he’d done.
“Sir,” Valerie said.
Maddox looked up. His features had become even gaunter than usual, with the beginning of circles around his eyes.
“We have to be realistic,” Valerie said. “I’m not going to figure out these instruments before our food runs out. Sure, we can keep going as we starve, but I don’t think we’ll use our wits very well by that point.”
“Defeatism isn’t going to solve the problem,” he said in an irritated voice.
“I’m not admitting defeat,” Valerie told him. “I’m saying we’re going about this the wrong way.”
“I’d be delighted to hear your suggestion for a more productive avenue.”
“You’re not going to like it,” she said.
“That doesn’t matter. If it works, at this point, that’s all that counts.”
“I agree with you there,” Valerie said. “In my opinion, we have to reactivate the AI. It can communicate with you and it can make the ship do what it wants. Given our limited window of opportunity, I don’t see any other way than semi-reactivating the AI and using it like a rider uses the reins on a horse.”
Maddox frowned. “You want to give control of the vessel back to the AI?” he asked.
“First, we have to dumb it down,” Valerie said. “Or, we have to change its coding so it listens to our orders instead of thinking it can make the commands.”
Maddox snorted. “That would be immeasurably more difficult than learning how to use the ship’s sensors ourselves.”
“Maybe you’re right if you mean for someone like me,” Valerie said, “but not for Doctor Rich. She could figure out how to do what I’m suggesting”
“That’s preposterous,” Maddox said.
“I have to disagree with you, sir. There’s something uncanny about Dana. She has a sixth sense about these things. As you’ve said before, she’s a genius.”
Maddox flipped his thin control rod into the air, catching it. “Do you trust her?” he asked suddenly.
“Dana? Of course, I trust her. She doesn’t want to die any more than you do.”
“That’s not what I mean. Can we trust her to stick with the team, with following my orders? What’s your gut feeling?”
“I don’t know,” Valerie admitted. “That’s a good question. She has issues. That’s for sure.”
“Has she said anything to you about her past?” Maddox asked.
“No,” Valerie said. “If you want to know that you should ask Meta.”
“I think not,” Maddox said.
“Even if we can’t fully trust Dana, we should still try it my way,” Valerie said. “The present way… isn’t going to work for us.”
Maddox put his hands behind his back and began to pace. He was quiet for a time. Finally, he said, “We have the starship. We just don’t know how to run it. Soon, we’re out of food. Even if we can jump, we’re going to need a margin for error, food to last for a time. Yes, you’re right, Lieutenant. We must shake the dice one more time. You must talk with Meta and sound her out about Dana. I’ll go see the doctor and find out what she thinks about reactivating the AI.”
Captain Maddox spoke with Doctor Rich. They wandered through the mammoth engine area. Fortunately, the star cruisers’ rays hadn’t touched the antimatter cylinders.
The broken combat robots and skeletal pincer-creatures no longer littered the deck here. Keith and Riker had cleared them away a day ago.
Dana nodded as Maddox explained the situation to her. “I’ve come to a similar conclusion,” she said. “We have to open the stopper just enough to let the genie’s intellect come out but not its power.”
“Do you think it can be done?”
“Oh, certainly it can,” Dana said. “That isn’t the question.”
“What is?”
“Whether or not I can do it,” she said. “Then, we must broach the heart of the matter of what’s really troubling you.”
“I didn’t know there was something else,” Maddox said.
Dana smiled. Her teeth seemed so much whiter than any of theirs because her skin was darker. “Now, you’re lying to me. It’s something I notice you do easily and do quite well, I might add.”
“I wouldn’t call it lying, specifically,” he said.
“I realize you wouldn’t,” Dana said. “You’re in Star Watch Intelligence. In the end, you’re a spymaster more than you’re a starship captain. Disinformation—lying—is your stock in trade.”