Through her anxiety, Catrin was suddenly aware of her own slatternly appearance. The clothes of the last few days still itched on her back because they were the only ones she possessed — travel-smirched, smoky and dirty. She could not have smiled had she tried.
Oliver twisted in the saddle to adjust his shield strap, but when he saw her he stopped, and the residue of the grin faded from his lips. 'Mistress Catrin, what's wrong?
'Richard's run off. She told him what had happened in the bower.
His lips compressed. 'Poor little sod. Raising a forefinger to Gawin, bidding him wait, he dismounted. 'Come, I'll help you look. He won't have gone far.
'What about your journey?
'Another half candle-notch won't make any difference. The living matter more than the dead. He spoke the last sentence with a wry shrug, as if he did not quite believe in the words. Then he shook his head and grimaced. 'Rohese de Bayvel should be tied to that post yonder and whipped. It's not the first time that she's caused trouble in the bower.
'Then why doesn't the Countess stop her?
'Because Rohese is probably the best needlewoman in England, and when she tries she can be sweetness itself — and no, that is not a remark made from personal knowledge. I would rather kiss the hand of Medusa than become embroiled with that shrew. I'll go and investigate the guardrooms, shall I? You ask over there at the bread oven.
Earl Robert's favourite alaunt had given birth to a litter of four pups in the spring. Now, seven weeks later, they were energetic bundles of tawny fur, their coats wrinkling comically on their loose-knit bones. From his corner, Richard watched them tumble over each other and indulge in mock fights, already establishing an order of dominance. Their mother lay nearby, her limbs relaxed but her gaze watchful.
Richard made no attempt to touch any of the pups. It was enough just to observe. His mother had always been promising him a dog, but somehow the promise had always remained as 'next time', or 'another day'. Aimery de Sens had owned an alaunt, but it had been huge and black, with a snarl to threaten anyone who came within touching distance. When Aimery had wanted to lie with Amice, he made the beast guard the bedchamber door so that they wouldn't be disturbed.
Well, they were all dead now. There was a treacherous stinging sensation at the back of Richard's eyes. 'It's all my fault, he told one of the pups as it left the rough and tumble to investigate him. 'I wished them dead. He picked it up and cuddled it with a deep longing for the feel of something soft and warm against his skin. The pup wriggled and licked him with a swift, pink tongue. Richard buried his face in the tawny fur while the forces gathered inside him.
'Found you!
Richard jerked his head up, his eyes wet, the sob locked in his throat as he glared at Thomas FitzRainald. 'Go away! he snarled.
The other boy did exactly the opposite and came closer.
'They're looking for you. That nurse of yours, Catrin is it? She's running around like a scorched cat. Oliver Pascal's hunting too.
Richard inhaled the pup's fuzzy coat. 'I don't want to be found.
'You should have hidden better then. Thomas crouched down, and the young dog wriggled away from Richard to explore the newcomer. 'Why have you run away?
'I haven't, I just wanted to be on my own, that's all. Richard drew the back of his hand across his eyes, and challenged the other boy to remark on it with a brimming scowl.
Thomas raised his chin to avoid the pup's eager pink tongue. 'Is it true that you're the Earl's half-brother? 'Yes, what of it?
'Well, that makes you my uncle, because my papa is your half-brother too. Thomas giggled at the thought. 'Uncles are supposed to be older than their nephews.
'How old are you? Richard demanded, curiosity winning out over defensiveness.
'I was eleven at the feast of Saint John.
'I won't be eleven until Christmas. The puppy clambered back into his lap and he cuddled it again.
Thomas eyed him. 'We're more of an age to be brothers or cousins. Can I call you cousin?
Richard shrugged. 'If you like, he said indifferently, but he was pleased. Essentially he was a gregarious child, who had been forced by circumstances to dwell overmuch in his own company.
Thomas eyed him, as if trying to decide whether the response was an acceptance or rejection. 'You'll have to let them know where you are, he said. 'Otherwise they'll turn the place upside down and you'll be in worse trouble than ever.
Richard wriggled his shoulders. 'I don't want to go back to the women, he said. 'Most of them don't like me anyway' He gazed around the space surrounding him, the comfort of open sky and fresh air.
Thomas eyed him. 'You don't have to stay with them. Ask if you can sleep in the same dorter as the other squires.
'But I'm not a squire.
'You will be soon. What else is Lord Robert going to do with you?
Richard chewed his lip. He thought of the red-haired woman who had scowled at him, and the sympathetic pregnant one who had made him face something that he wanted to banish from his mind. 'What's the dorter like?
'I'll show you. Rising to his feet, Thomas wiped his pup-licked hand on his tunic. 'Come on. We'll tell your nurse you're found, and you can stay with me the rest of the day, if you like. I've a heap of saddlery to polish, and four hands are better than two.
Richard deliberated a moment longer. He was not accustomed to giving his trust, but time and again over the last two days he had been asked to do so by complete strangers. 'All right, he said, and he too rose, although with a lingering reticence. The pup rolled on its belly demanding to be tickled, and he stooped to oblige before tearing himself away to follow his 'cousin'. 'Catrin's not my nurse, I'm too old for one now, he added in a defensive tone. 'She was my mother's companion.
Catrin's anxiety for Richard's safety had almost reached fever pitch when she saw the two boys across the bailey. She had envisaged discovering him among the dregs of Earl Robert's army, his throat slit, or washed up on the estuary, drowned. Or not found at all. To see him unscathed filled her with relief and the rage of relief. She ran across the bailey, not knowing whether to shout at or cuddle him first.
In the event she did neither, for the look on his face brought her up short.
'I shouldn't have run off, he forestalled her quickly, 'but I couldn't stay. His eyes were wary and she could see that he was braced for a thorough scolding.
'I know you couldn't, she said in a gentler voice than she had first intended, 'and I know you were upset, but what you did was not only thoughtless, but dangerous. This camp is huge and you scarce know any of it. People have been looking for you, and I have been worrying myself sick!
Richard looked at the ground and shuffled his feet. 'I'm sorry, he muttered.
Catrin's anger melted. She wanted to grab him and fold him in her arms, but with Thomas looking on and the bailey full of witnesses, she abstained for the sake of his tender pride. 'If you need a moment alone, I expect you to go no farther than this bailey, understood?
Richard nodded, then raised his head. 'Thomas wants to show me the boys' dorter. Can I go?
Catrin pursed her lips.
'I'll look after him, I promise, Thomas said, his eyes wide and earnest. 'After that, he can stay with me, if he wants, and help me clean the Earl's harness.
Richard nodded again, this time vigorously, and looked pleadingly at Catrin. She had a protective impulse to tuck him under her wing, but that was caused by her own anxiety. It would be the worst thing she could do to take him back amongst the Countess's women. Better to let the friendship develop between the two boys. 'I don't see why not, she said, and was rewarded by one of Richard's rare smiles.