"Get away from me," he yelled. It stopped me in my tracks. "I'm not going to say it again."
"Ryan," she said meekly. She was crying.
"Hi," I said. They both turned to me and stared.
"I thought I was meeting you at your grandmother's," Ryan finally said.
"I decided to surprise you, but I guess you beat me to it." I could hear the flatness, the lack of emotion in my voice. I looked at Amanda, who was wiping the tears from her eyes. It was clear that she did not start crying as she stepped off the train. Her eyes were red and her face was swollen and flushed.
"I'm sorry," Amanda blurted out as though she had been holding it back with all her strength. Then she started crying again and walked down the platform toward the ticket booth.
"I was supposed to meet you at your grandmother's," Ryan said again.
I paused. I was watching Amanda sobbing and Ryan stammer. Then it hit me. "How long have you and Amanda…" I couldn't get the last word out.
"It's not like that."
"What's it like?"
Ryan looked at his feet and shook his head slowly. "I don't want to talk about this here."
"Is that why you postponed the wedding?" I tried to meet his eyes, but he avoided looking at me. "I knew you were lying to me about something. I guess it was easier to imagine you would kill someone, than… this. Isn't that sick?"
I smiled, but I felt like throwing up. I had spent the whole morning working on a speech explaining why I couldn't go through with the wedding-a speech that was both caring and clear. I hadn't even had a chance to say it and there was nothing else to say. I walked away.
"Nell," Amanda called out. "I know you hate me." She walked after me as I passed her by. "I didn't mean for it to happen. Ryan didn't either. It just did. We were both really torn about it. Really we were. He came up here to tell you and then that guy was killed and it seemed… I've felt just… you're my friend."
I wanted to be angry, but mostly I was numb. "Your friend?"
She started crying again. "I've always told you everything. And I've been hiding this away in some secret place, and it's felt so wrong. Not being able to talk to you."
"That's what felt wrong?" I walked away and she followed. I stopped. "You should be running after him. Not me." I turned away and walked as quickly as I could.
CHAPTER 56
I stopped twice on the way to the quilt shop to find some private place to cry. I kept thinking I would get sick, but it didn't happen. That was probably for the best, but it left a brick in my happen. That was probably for the best, but it left a brick in my stomach that I had to get rid of before I faced Eleanor and the rest of them. I stood on the sidewalk, closed my eyes, and took deep breaths.
"You okay? You look like you've been hit with a two-by-four."
I opened my eyes. Bernie was leaning into me, smiling worriedly the way people do around the insane.
"I'm fine." She reached out and touched my shoulder.
"Is it over?" she asked. I nodded. "Was it someone else?" I nodded again.
"How did you know?"
She shrugged. "I'd like to credit my psychic gifts, but I think I've just known too many men not to recognize a man with a secret when I see one."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Bernie smiled sadly. "I wanted to be wrong." We sat on the curb and watched Archers Rest at rush hour. Three cars drove by in five minutes.
"Why did you write Marc a note to see him later?"
Bernie looked a little confused, and then a smile took over her face. "Jesse asked me the same thing." She relaxed her shoulders. "Marc was going to fix some stuff at the house. I left him a key and a note."
"And he kept the note?"
"He kept the note and the key. I had to change the locks before that little bugger robbed me blind. He would have, you know. He's stolen from several people."
"So I've learned."
"Did you think Marc and I were having a torrid affair and I killed him in the heat of passion?"
I shrugged.
"Well, I hope you did. I like to think I still inspire that kind of gossip." She laughed to herself. "Are you going to the shop?"
"I'm on my way. Want to go together?"
She held up two deposit bags. "I have to go to the bank first, deposit one into my personal account and one into the business account. " She got up. "You have more than a few wonderful moments in your future, Nell."
"Psychic gifts tell you that?"
"No. I've just lived enough to know." Bernie hesitated, then crossed the street and headed for the bank. I watched her for a moment, trying to believe her, trying not to think about the scene at the train station.
As I watched her walk away, there was a feeling that came over me. What I was beginning to think about Marc's murder didn't make any sense, and I did my best to ignore it. It would have been possible, except I turned my head and saw Barney walking up the street, sniffing at every flower and fire hydrant he found. I was about to call out to him, but I knew he wouldn't hear, so I just waited for him to get close enough to see me. I admired dear old Barney. I wouldn't have taken the loss of something so important as easily as he had.
As Barney walked over to me wagging his tail, I felt my face turn hot. The brick in my stomach was jumping around. I wanted to pass out. I knew. I didn't know, and then a second later I did. And I didn't want to know. I took my cell phone from my pocket.
"Chief Dewalt," I heard Jesse say on the other end.
"Can you meet me at the shop?"
"Now?" I couldn't answer. "Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Can you meet me there?"
Silence. And then, "Do you remember when you asked me if anyone else's fingerprints were on the money?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"It annoys me to admit this, but what you said nagged at me, so I checked it against the prints I took after the murder."
"So you know," I said, my throat closing.
"I guess we both do."
I walked with Barney as slowly as I could to the shop, but it still took me less than a minute to arrive at the door. Nancy, holding a large box, was standing with Eleanor.
"Now I see who you went after." Eleanor patted the dog's head. "I used to be your favorite. Guess I have competition."
Natalie and Susanne arrived just moments before Carrie. All three were talking about the huge bag Susanne had in her arms.
"I have the quilt," Susanne said to me. "Finished it last night."
The women gathered around the large shopping bag, but Natalie looked up at me.
"Are you okay?" she mouthed. I nodded.
"Let's see the quilt," I said.
Maggie arrived on the scene. "Not without all of us here."
"Bernie had to go to the bank. She'll be here in a minute," I said.
For the first time since I arrived, Eleanor looked up at me. She gave me a sympathetic smile that made me wonder how bad I looked. "We should go inside," Eleanor said. "I'm willing to wait for Bernie, but not if it means getting pneumonia."
When we opened the door to the shop, we saw Tom and his assistant were putting up the last of the shelves. The place looked huge and new, and not quite finished.
"We beat you," beamed Eleanor.
Tom looked up, a little surprised. "Another few hours and I would have done it."
"Well, we cheated," Maggie huffed. "We do our group projects by hand, but we had Susanne machine quilt this one. But you'll have to wait to see until Bernie gets here."
I took a deep breath. "Can you guys give me a minute. I need to… I'll be right back."