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The three articles above referred to were all brought into play, and more than once before I was sufficiently calm to give due attention to Bessy's spirited account of the causes which led to the recent rupture.

It appears that, yielding to an unaccountable impulse, dictated by jealousy, Mr. E., upon leaving the house, instead of proceeding at once to the spirit-merchant's had mounted the sill of the window, and thus being enabled to look through the hole cut in the top of the shutter for the purpose of admitting light, he had the mortification to behold his wife's arms round my neck and her lips pressed closely to mine, as I have previously related, when instantly re-entering the house he called her to him, telling her what he had perceived and at the same time reviling her with the most opprobious names; he flatly accused her of inconstancy, she persisted in her protestations of innocence, but all in vain; for a long time he refused to listen to her; and in fact it must be acknowledged that it was no easy matter to persuade a man to doubt the evidence of his own eyes; this arduous task, however, she at last managed to accomplish. She exclaimed against the folly of giving way to false appearances, pointing out to him the absurdity of his conduct in believing that he could really discern her exact situation from the position he had taken meanly to pry into her conduct; allowing, however, that any other man might have been equally deceived by similar appearances; she only blamed him for the violence of the language in which he vented his suspicions; she acknowledged that at the distance from which he had viewed the apparently obnoxious act, and from the situation in which she was standing at the moment, more particularly as her back was towards him, he might had been mistaken. But why not have demanded an explanation in milder terms when she could and would, in one moment, have fully satisfied him as to the purity of her intentions.

Surprised at the collected manner in which she met this serious charge, his passion gradually abated, and as we are all ever prone to believe that which we most desire, he in a milder tone requested that she would lose no time, but that if it were really possible proceed immediately to set his ruffled mind at rest by a plain and candid statement of the facts, which she did in the following terms:

"Well, sir, although I feel that apology is due from you to me, yet in justice to myself will I condescend to answer your demand and shame you out of such vile suspicions. You know that state in which you left our lodger, a condition which of itself was sufficient to dispel the doubts of any reasonable man; and having occasion to enter his room for a glass in which to prepare the intended remedy I was alarmed at hearing sounds proceed from him as from a person in agonies of suffocation. I spoke to him, but receiving no answer I advanced to his bedside. My worst fears were confirmed; his head had slipped from the pillow and he was breathing with great difficulty. Fearing he was dying I immediately raised his head, in doing which I was compelled to lean forward, and I have no doubt that it was at this moment when your jealous eyes beheld me and which you thought proper to interpret according to your own depraved imagination. I do not deny that from the situation in which you had foolishly placed yourself I might have appeared to be in closer contact with the man than the dictates of morality would warrant; yet when every circumstance is carefully considered I even now maintain that I must have been devoid of common feeling had I acted otherwise; that all I have been describing was but the business of a moment, you will know, for surely two minutes could not have elapsed from the time you left the house until you re-entered it and called me away in order to vent your jealous spleen upon me in the unmanly, brutal, and cowardly manner so peculiarly your own."

Perfectly satisfied by this ingenious explanation the affair was dropped and never more alluded to by him. Our intimacy continued as before; I awoke each morning to share the joys of love, and every night beheld my faithful partner on her lonely couch ere I myself retired to rest; but soon a variety of circumstances combined which, notwithstanding our utmost caution, threatened to awake the demon of Jealousy that for a time had slumbered in his breast and render it expedient, in order to ensure safety, that one or both of us should quit E.'s house for ever.

While sitting at home one morning I was unexpectedly called on to attend a gentleman who had been deputed by a civic committee to engage me for a public dinner which was to be held the following day about three miles from town; the entertainment upon this occasion was to be followed by a ball, to which the wives and daughters of the jovial citizens were invited.

Having agreed as to terms, etc., he politely informed me that if I had any friends who would like to join me in the evening he had a few tickets of admission which were entirely at my service. I availed myself of this kind offer and he presented me with admission for three persons.

In order to prevent suspicion, I presented two to the husband of the fair Emma, with an intimation that if not better engaged I should be happy to join their party; the other I reserved for Bessy, and it was ultimately agreed, in consequence of my attendance being required several hours before the time specified on the cards for the admission of the ladies, and as Mr. S., the husband of Emma, could not leave his business before eight o'clock, that the two females should start together at six, Mr. S. could wait at home the arrival of E., acquaint him with the invitation each of them had received, and should he feel an inclination to accompany Mr. S. I would, upon being sent for, endeavour to obtain an additional admittance for him.

Shortly after seven o'clock the ladies arrived, and having performed my professional duties I had the pleasure of escorting them through the beautiful gardens with which the place abounded; whispering soft compliments into the willing ears of each alternately, while each, believing herself the sole object of my secret adoration, returned the stolen pressure of my hand, and occasionally a small but thickset grove of trees would cause our arms to separate, affording me a hasty opportunity of pressing the pliant lips of one, unseen by the other; such, indeed, was the peculiar nature of my feelings that I was more than once tempted to exclaim, in the language of Macheath, How happy could I be with either, Were t'other dear charmer away.

About eight, the preparations for dancing being completed, the ball commenced; but finding that my fair companions preferred the refreshing breeze of the gardens to the sultry and oppressive heat of a crowded ballroom, I, being no very ardent admirer of the dance, cheerfully complied with their request to quit the room; and as night's sable veil rendered surrounding objects more obscure I had various opportunities of indulging in little pleasing, though perhaps not altogether delicate liberties, which, together with the exhilarating influence of the bumpers I had previously taken, filled my soul with the most tantalizing ideas.

Nor were the ladies by any means in too severely chaste a mood, as will be understood when the reader learns that, as we sat on a rustic bench, the fingers of Bessie's right hand were moving amorously upon the lower part of my weapon whilst at one and the same moment Emma's red mouth was engaged upon the nut. But the risk of a collision was too great and, whispering to Bessy that I could endure her caressing touch no longer, I removed her fingers and, tucking them under my arm, placed my left hand upon Emma's head and pushed it gently downwards until such time as her pliant tongue and rosy lips had brought about the natural result of their exquisitely lascivious operations.