At one end of the garden was a small building which was used as a wash house, etc., and was in fact continually open for the accommodation of all. I accordingly placed my chair in such a position that in order to reach this place the person wishing to do so must pass so very closely to where I was sitting as to be within hearing of the softest whisper.
I had not remained long here ere the gentle Emma came tripping down the path, eyeing me as she advanced with a look full of meaning, while a malicious smile was playing round the corners of her tempting mouth. I would have caught her round the waist, but with a lightning glance at an upper window she gave me to understand that she was not unwatched; this, however, did not prevent her as she returned from pausing for a moment while in a subtle tone she archly exclaimed,
"Now, can you say that I am a false prophetess. Did I not tell you long ago, that Mrs. E. would betray herself, and has she not done so with a witness?" And shaking her finger archly at me, she departed.
In a few minutes after, with swollen eyes and downcast brow, Bessy entered the garden. As she approached me our eyes met. I was about to take,her hand, but with a withering frown and a forced smile expressive of the utmost contempt she avoided my touch; and as she returned in a moment after, passed me with averted face, scorning to favour me with a single glance. In returning to my room, her door (which I have said fronted mine) stood open, and to add to my mortification at the very moment that she was conscious my eyes were upon her she placed her hand upon her husband's shoulder, and as he looked upwards into her face with the utmost satisfaction pressed a kiss upon his willing lips!
This was too much; and with feelings compared to which those of the damned would have been enviable, I entered my apartment, swallowed a huge bumper of the strongest brandy, and then, in order to conceal from her the effects of her cruelty, sat down to my piano and for the next hour continued to play a succession of the most lively and exhilarating melodies.
Having at length succeeded in soothing my ruffled spirits, I dressed myself with the utmost care, and, prompted by something like vanity in order that she might see and contrast my gay appearance with that of her loutish husband, I rapped at her door, which being opened by herself, I, with the greatest self-composure, stated that in the event of any enquiries being made for me I should not be home until the following evening.
I was revenged. It was now her turn to suffer. The blood rushed into her face and it was with the greatest difficulty that she could articulate,
"Very well, sir." I then with a polite bow closed the door and quitted the house.
Having made an early dinner at a respectable ordinary, I hastened to Islington. The door was opened by the old lady whose appearance I have already described and who, with a low chuckle, beckoning me to follow, led the way upstairs, opened the door, and immediately taking her departure I was left alone with Delia.
She was reclining on the bed, her lovely eyes suffused in tears, and, amongst other evils, labouring under that most tedious of all painsthe toothache. She smiled as I approached and extended her hand, which I received but coldly; for, to speak candidly, the idea of her having passed the night in the arms of a man old enough to be her father had considerably cooled my ardour; since I am, notwithstanding my love of variety, rather delicate in matters of a tender nature.
She doubtlessly guessed the nature of my thoughts and when, after some time passed in conversation, I acknowledged that such was indeed the subject of them, she exclaimed with a look of the most tender reproach, "And do you think me then so abandoned a creature as to have sent for you had I suffered myself to have been abused so recently? Do you believe that I could have submitted to the embraces of so loathsome a wretch when my soul was full of love for you? No!
Death itself would have been much more welcome. It was no difficult task for me to make the old dotard believe that I was too unwell to receive his caresses. I walked the room during the whole of the night and he is now on his way to the continent, from whence he will not return for many weeks; it is in consequence of my remaining for so long a time partly undressed, and with the window open, that I am suffering the pain I now endure."
This was really the case; the poor girl had taken a violent cold in consequence of her devotion to me. Could I remain insensible to the advances of such a creature? No. I pressed her to my arms and covered her with ardent kisses! This done I went on to remind her of the soliloquy I had been so miraculously privileged to overhear on the previous evening and of the divine pleasure she was causing me at the moment of our cruel interruption. I assured her of my anxiety to reciprocate in kind and of the zest which I was convinced the preliminary insertion of my tongue into her crack would certainly lend to our subsequent encounter. At this her language became at once free and impassioned and she besought me to lay my head between her legs and kiss her without delay. Nothing loath, I turned round and kneeling over her with my feet towards the pillows applied my lips with rapture to the dainty feast, taking care at the same time that my probe should occupy a position which left her no choice but to bury it within her rosy mouth.
In deference to my lady readers, of whom I confidently look forward to including a goodly number, I abstain from further details of this particular item in our salacious programme. Suffice it to say that the performance was carried out with a perfect frenzy of desire on both sides, each striving with might and main (and believe me, dear ladies, this is the fundamental secret of all amatory successes) to enhance the pleasures of the other and to render as acute and as protracted as possible the ecstasies of the incoitable crisis.
After this light and spirited overture the more classic but equally enjoyable numbers were "taken," as musicians have it, in varying tempo. Constituting myself the conductor, I made the measured beat of my baton the guiding influence of our movements and allegretto succeeded to andante with a rhythm and precision which left nothing to be desired. To quit the language of metaphor and come to plain prose, Delia and I fleshmongered one another in every position known to the most experienced copulators, until at length a not unnatural exhaustion ensued and we fell asleep locked in each other's arms.
When I awoke my fair companion had already risen: the tea was smoking on the table and the savoury muffins, prepared by her delicate hands, seemed to invite me to the welcome repast. Never do I remember having partaken of a more delightful meal. The remaining portion of the evening was passed in charming converse, during which the animated girl suddenly exclaimed, "You call yourself a musician, but that is not the only science in which you are skilled."
"Indeed! what mean you?"
"Why, that you are either a physician or a magician- you have so completely driven away my toothache that until this moment I had forgotten all about it; and indeed, the cure has been effected in the most charming manner in the world!"
With these words she threw herself into my arms and hid her blushing face upon my bosom with the result that more than one piece performed at the late concert was unanimously encored!
I remained with my charming Delia till the following day when, after a tender parting coupled with a promise to return in the evening, I hurried home.
I must confess that my dalliance and oft-repeated love exchanges with Delia had somewhat weakened me, and as I reached my room I felt enervated to such a degree that I fell upon my bed through sheer exhaustion.
True to my promise, I called at the appointed hour of the succeeding night at the house of Delia but was met at the door by the old crone, her servant, who informed me that I must go away for the present as Delia's old protector had unexpectedly returned and was at the moment in her chamber. Muttering a low curse at this unlooked-for interruption of my anticipated night of enjoyment, I turned from the house and, it being comparatively early, I bent my steps towards Regent's Park.