"He's only a couple of years older than Ben!"
"And still in middle school."
"Now you're making me nervous."
Melody rolled her eyes. "Don't be. If my son were more like Ben, I wouldn't have reason to be nervous. Ben has an old soul. He's always polite, he's always kind, always the first to help the younger kids. He's empathetic. I, on the other hand, have Zach."
"Zach's a great kid, too."
"I know he is. But he's always been more difficult than Ben. And he's more of a follower than Ben."
"Have you seen them playing? From where I'm sitting, Ben's been doing all the following."
"You know what I mean."
Actually, she did. Even from a young age, Ben had been content to forge his own path. Which was nice, she had to admit, since it had been a pretty good path. Though he didn't have many friends, he had a lot of interests he pursued on his own. Good ones, too. He had little interest in video games or surfing the Web, and while he occasionally watched television, he'd usually turn it off on his own after thirty minutes or so. Instead, he read or played chess (a game that he seemed to understand on some intuitive level) on the electronic game board he'd received for Christmas. He loved to read and write, and though he enjoyed the dogs at the kennel, most of them were anxious because of the long hours they spent in a kennel and tended to ignore him. He spent many afternoons throwing tennis balls that few, if any, ever retrieved. "It'll be fine."
"I hope so." Melody set aside her drink. "I suppose I should go get the cake, huh? Zach has practice at five."
"It'll be hot."
Melody stood. "I'm sure he'll want to bring the Super Soaker. Probably squirt the coach."
"Do you need some help?"
"No thanks. Just sit here and relax. I'll be right back."
Beth watched Melody walk away, realizing for the first time how thin she'd become. Ten, maybe fifteen pounds lighter than she'd been the last time Beth had seen her. Had to be stress, she thought. David's affair had crushed her, but unlike Beth when it had happened to her, Melody was determined to save her marriage. Then again, they'd had different sorts of marriages. David made a big mistake and it hurt Melody, but overall, they'd always struck Beth as a happy couple. Beth's marriage, on the other hand, had been a fiasco from the beginning. Just as Nana had predicted. Nana had the ability to size people up in an instant, and she had this way of shrugging when she didn't like someone. When Beth announced she was pregnant and that instead of go-tag to college, she and her ex planned to get married, Nana began shrugging so much that it resembled a nervous tic. Beth, of course, ignored it at the time, thinking, She hasn't given him a chance. She doesn't really know him. We can make this work. Nosiree. Never happened. Nana was always polite, always cordial when he was around, but the shrugging didn't stop until Beth moved back home ten years ago. The marriage had lasted less than nine months; Ben was five weeks old. Nana had been right about him all along.
Melody vanished inside the house, only to reemerge a few minutes later, David right behind her. He was carrying paper plates and forks, obviously preoccupied. She could see the tufts of gray hair near his ears and deep lines in his forehead. The last time she'd seen him, the lines hadn't been as evident, and she figured it was another sign of the stress he was under.
Sometimes, Beth wondered what her life would be like if she were married. Not to her ex, of course. That thought made her shudder. Dealing with him every other weekend was more than enough, thank you very much. But to someone else. Someone… better. It seemed like it might be a good idea, at least in the abstract, anyway. After ten years, she was used to her life, and though it might be nice to have someone to share her evenings with after work or get a back rub from now and then, there was also something nice about spending all day Saturday in her pajamas if she wanted to. Which she sometimes did. Ben, too. They called them "lazy days." They were the best days ever. Sometimes they'd cap off a day of doing absolutely nothing by ordering pizza and watching a movie. Heavenly.
Besides, if relationships were hard, marriage was even harder. It wasn't just Melody and David who struggled; it seemed like most couples struggled. It went with the territory. What did Nana always say? Stick two different people with two different sets of expectations under one roof and it ain't always going to be shrimp and grits on Easter.
Exactly. Even if she wasn't completely sure where Nana came up with her metaphors.
Glancing at her watch, she knew that as soon as the party ended, she'd have to head back to check in on Nana. No doubt she'd find her in the kennel, either behind the desk or checking on the dogs. Nana was stubborn like that. Did it matter that her left leg could barely support her? My kg ain't perfect, but it's not beeswax, either. Or that she might fall and get hurt? I'm not a bucket of fine china. Or that her left arm was basically useless? As long as I can eat soup, I don't need it anyway. She was one of a kind, bless her heart. Always had been. "Hey, Mom?"
Lost in thought, she hadn't seen Ben approaching. His freckled face was shiny with sweat. Water dripped from his clothes, and there were grass stains on his shirt she was certain would never come out.
"Yeah, baby?"
"Can I spend the night at Zach's tonight?"
"I thought he had soccer practice."
"After practice. There's going to be a bunch of people staying over, and his mom got him Guitar Hero for his birthday."
She knew the real reason he was asking.
"Not tonight. You can't. Your dad's coming to pick you up at five."
"Can you call him and ask?"
can try. But you know…" Ben nodded, and as it usually did when this happened, her heart broke just a little. "Yeah, I know."
The sun glared through the windshield at baking temperature, and she found herself wishing she'd had the car's air conditioner fixed. With the window rolled down, her hair whipped in her face, making it sting. She reminded herself again to get a real haircut. She imagined saying to her hairdresser, Chop it on off,
Terri. Make me look tike a num.' But she knew she'd end up asking for her regular trim when the time came. In some things, she was a coward.
"You guys looked like you were having fun."
"I was."
"That's all you can say?"
"I'm just tired, Mom."
She pointed toward the Dairy Queen in the distance. "You want to swing by and get some ice cream?"
"It's not good for me."
"Hey, I'm the mother here. That's what I'm supposed to say. I. was just thinking that if you're hot, you might want some."
"I'm not hungry. I just had cake."
"All right. Suit yourself. But don't blame me if you get home and realize you should have jumped at the opportunity."
"I won't." He turned toward the window. "Hey, champ. You okay?"
When he spoke, his voice was almost inaudible over the wind. "Why do I have to go to Dad's? It's not like we're going to do anything fun. He sends me to bed at nine o'clock, like I'm still in second grade or something. I'm never even tired. And tomorrow, he'll have me do chores all day."
"I thought he was taking you to your grandfather's house for brunch after church."
"I still don't want to go."
I don't want you to go, either, she thought. But what could she do?
"Why don't you bring a book?" she suggested. "You can read in your room tonight, and if you get bored tomorrow, you can read there, too."
"You always say that."
Because I don't know what eke to tell you, she thought "You want to go to the bookstore?"
"No," he said. But she could tell he didn't mean it.
"Well, come with me anyway. I want to get a book for myself."
"Okay."
"I'm sorry about this, you know."
"Yeah. I know."
Going to the bookstore did little to lift Ben's mood. Though he'd ended up picking out a couple of Hardy Boys mysteries, she'd recognized his slouch as they'd stood in line to pay for them. On the ride home, he opened one of the books and pretended to be reading. Beth was pretty sure he'd done it to keep her from peppering him with questions or trying, with forced cheerfulness, to make him feel better about his overnight at his dad's. At ten, Ben was already remarkably adept at predicting her behavior.