'Yeah, that'd be great.'
I saw him out. Not a bad guy, Callippus, and he'd been right not to push things over Hermippe's death. Sometimes these things were best left to the family to settle.
Perilla was on the couch when I came back. I lay down beside her and put my arm round her shoulders.
'So.' She snuggled in. 'What happened?'
I told her. About the Baker, and about Hermippe.
'He killed her?' She stared at me incredulously. 'Her own brother?'
'Sure. Or had Antaeus do it for him.'
'But that's terrible!'
'It was the only way. And I always knew Demetriacus had a killing streak in him, where he had reason enough. Don't waste any tears on that bitch, Perilla. She had it coming, and considering how Smaragdus died maybe it was poetic justice.'
Bathyllus soft-shoed in to say dinner was ready. About time: I was starved.
'Also, sir,' he coughed, 'I'm afraid we've received a formal complaint from our neighbours.'
I sat up. This was serious: Diomea was a high-class area that kept itself to itself, and a formal complaint from a neighbour was tantamount to a major border incident. 'Yeah?'
Perilla put her hand to her mouth. 'Oh, I forgot to tell you. Nestor got loose this morning and strayed into next door's garden.'
Gods! 'The brute's wings are clipped, lady. How the hell can he "stray"?'
'He climbed up the fig tree on the back wall, sir, using his claws and beak.' That was Bathyllus, stiff as hell. 'It was quite an achievement.'
'I'll bet.' So. Strayed, nothing. I should've known better: the cunning bastard had planned the whole thing. 'Okay. So tell me what happened.'
'You know Leonidas's sister, sir? The maiden lady?'
'Melpomene?'
'Yes, sir.'
I groaned. Shit, no! Not that! Leonidas, of course, was our neighbour, something big on the local council. His sister Melpomene was a prim spinster of about fifty-five, over on a visit from Corinth. I closed my eyes. 'Go on, Bathyllus. Tell me the worst.'
'The lady was sunning herself in the garden at the time, so I understand. The parrot walked up to her and told her to…' Bathyllus stopped with a glance at Perilla, then leaned down and whispered the rest in my ear.
My eyes widened. Jupiter on wheels! There were a couple of words in there even I didn't know, but they were pretty clear from the context. I wasn't sure if what Nestor had suggested was anatomically possible but if Melpomene had been silly enough to try it and been caught she'd be on the first boat out.
'The lady had hysterics,' Bathyllus said, 'although unfortunately for us she was lucid enough to recall the bird's message and repeat it to her brother verbatim.' Oh, gods. 'Leonidas, I'm afraid, was not amused. Hence the complaint.'
'It's the last straw, Corvinus.' Perilla wasn't smiling much either. 'The parrot will have to go now. He's a positive liability.'
'Yeah. I know.' I sighed. Well, the bastard had had his chances, and he'd systematically and with malice aforethought blown every last one of them. A pity in a way, because he was a real character. However, enough was enough, and when he got chopped he'd only have himself to blame. 'Okay, little guy, tell Alexis to…' I stopped.
'Sir?' Bathyllus gave me a puzzled look.
The solution was beautiful. And it solved everything. 'Tell Alexis to take him round to a guy called Felix in Colonus, with my compliments,’ I said. ‘A thank-you present for services rendered.'
Yeah. Maybe I'd come out ahead this time after all; or at least not too far behind. Priscus would have his statue; if not the statue at least something he could show off to his pals. Hermippe had her come-uppance, thanks to her brother's sense of justice. And Felix would get, free, gratis and for nothing, a very expensive and most individual parrot. And if I was very, very lucky the little bugger might even send it, sight unheard, to his boss in Rome as a peace offering…
Life wasn't all that bad, really, once you thought about it. I was grinning as I picked up the wine jug and went through to dinner.