“What are you going to do, fire me?”
I could hear his intake of breath, then,
“Don’t get fucking smart with me, Jack. You definitely don’t want to do that.”
“I don’t take threats well, Bill.”
“Time you learned.”
Click.
I tried to go back to the book, but the spell was gone. What I most wanted to do was to go down to Sweeney’s and kick the bejaysus out of Bill. I grabbed my jacket and took the hinges off the door. Childish but satisfying.
In St Anthony’s Lane, there is a coffee shop. Invisible to most pedestrians, it’s run by a Basque. I’d intended asking how he washed up in Galway but had never found the energy. Plus, caution said that Basques don’t do probing good. As usual, it was doing a brisk trade. Law clerks from the Courthouse, teachers from the Mercy school, a random student and two Spanish fishermen. The owner said,
“Jacques!”
I don’t have the witty reply to this, nor could I remember his name, so went with,
“How’re you doing?”
Lame, right?
Didn’t faze him. He said,
“Cafe con leche, grande.”
“Grand.”
He lingered, then said,
“I miss Glenroe.”
A Basque who longed for Wesley Burrows; the world was indeed on its axis. I’d been in a few weeks back and a group of students were turning CDs into ashtrays. One of them said,
“Don’t worry, it’s Garth Brooks.”
He had a faded Marilyn Manson badge on his notebook. I knew the two events were connected, but I couldn’t work up the energy to work it out. The coffee came, and the owner asked,
“Food?”
“No, I’m good.”
I stirred the liquid, anticipated the bitter kick. Such times, I’d have killed for a cigarette, then a scotch.
Then a line.
Then oblivion.
Physically, I shook myself, in an effort to dispel the harpies. Loreena McKennitt was playing and I let myself bend to the music. Glanced up to see my mother pass. Old Galwegians always used the lane to reach the abbey.
She was linking Fr Malachy. He, of course, was enveloped in cigarette smoke. Once in Carol O’Connell’s The Judas Child I’d come across
Her child needed a covert source of facts, the help of a dirty, backdoor invader, a professional destroyer of private lives, who well understood the loathsome workings of the world’s worst scum.
So this is motherhood.
I mouthed,
“Amen.”
“Life taught me a long time ago to leave be anything
that’s got more teeth than me.”
I was in Nestor’s, on my second glass of sparkling Balway water. That the day would come when an Irish person paid for water and paid dear is astonishing. Jeff said,
“You’re doing well.”
“At what?”
“You know, the drinking... the cigs... the other stuff.”
I shook my head, said,
“I’m flapping against the wind.”
He stopped polishing a glass, looked up, asked,
“What does that mean?”
“I’m biting a bullet, and I’m sick of the taste of metal in my mouth.”
He put down the glass, leaned on the counter, said,
“Very poetic if a little ominous.”
“Whoever said the clean life would help you live longer was right. They neglected to add you’d feel every boring minute.”
“It’ll get easier, Jack.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
Jeff had been sober for twenty years. Then, riding on a low after the baby’s birth, he’d gone on the batter. A one-night rampage. I’d been the one to rein him in. A drunk for the defence, he’d been back on track since. I asked,
“Ever feel the need to blow again?”
“Sure.”
“That’s it... sure?”
“No point in dwelling on it, Jack. I can’t drink, end of story.”
I sort of hated him then. Not in a ferocious fashion but the dull ache that sickness feels for recovery. I pushed the water away and got up to leave. Jeff said,
“Cathy’s been surfing the net, trying to track down that information you wanted. She hasn’t had any luck yet.”
“OK, take it easy.” I was leaving when the sentry spoke to me; I nearly dropped from surprise, as he almost never did. He said,
“You’re investigating the Magdalen? Well, I remember it well. When we were kids, we’d pass by there and see them working in the gardens. God forgive me, but we called them names and jeered them. The nuns were standing over the poor bitches like wardens. I remember they had leather straps, and we got our kicks thinking about them walloping the girls. Did you know that when the public finally knew what was going on, the outcry was so great that in the middle of the night, the bodies of dead Maggies were exhumed and whisked off to the cemetery to be buried? There’s a mass grave there with all the nameless girls below.”
He took a deep breath, and I offered to buy him a pint. He said yes but not to expect any more talk; that was his week’s ration. I left, visualising the dead girls that were never claimed.
I was heading towards the hotel when a BMW pulled up. A man got out, said,
“Jack Taylor?”
He was definitely the largest man I’d ever seen. At garda training at Templemore, I’d seen some of the biggest the country can produce. The midlands in particular yielded men who’d give new meaning to the term massive. Oddly enough, they made lousy cops. This guy towered above me. His head was bald, adding to his menace. Dressed in a white tracksuit, he eyed me with derision. What else could I reply but,
“Who’s asking?”
He stretched out his hand and literally flung me into the car, then crowded in beside me. Said,
“Bill would like a word.”
With his bulk, there wasn’t a whole lot of room. I was jammed up against him, said,
“I hope you showered.”
“Shut your mouth.”
I did.
They took me to Sweeney’s. Ominously, not a customer in the pub. The giant pushed me ahead, said,
“Bill’s in the cellar.”
Bill was wearing a boiler suit, said,
“Don’t want to get my clothes dirty.”
A single hard chair in the middle, surrounded by barrels; the smell of yeast was overpowering. I must have made a face, as Bill said,
“I’d have thought it was mother’s milk to you.”
“You’d have thought wrong.”
He gave a tight smile, said,
“Always the mouth, Jack; maybe we can do something about that. Sit down.”
“No, thanks.”
The giant grabbed my shoulders, shoved me down, tied my hands and put a blindfold on me. Bill said,
“Casey doesn’t like you, Jack.”
“Gee... that’s worrying.”
I got a wallop to my left ear. It hurt like a bastard. Bill said,
“Excuse the dramatics, but you don’t want to actually see Nev. He’s kind of shy. He’s a huge fan of The Deer Hunter and he likes to play, so I’ll talk you through this.”
I could smell Juicy Fruit, and the strength of the scent made me want to gag. I heard a gun being cocked, and Bill said,
“You owe me twice,Jack.”
“I thought we were working on that.”
“But you need to focus, Jack. You’re not paying attention. Nev is holding an old revolver ‘cause he’s an old fashioned guy, and he’s put two bullets in there and yes, that sound you hear is him spinning the barrel. OK, folks, here we go; let’s play.”