I always knew she had balls, but I never suspected how much.
"Empty, of course, no sign of anyone in the kitchen. I checked the door and windows, but there were no signs of (heir being forced. I think dear Bob must have woken from an extremely bad nightmare."
Kiwi was still sobbing, but she managed to say, "No, no. He was awake. He needed a drink of water. He went downstairs."
I was still shaken enough not to take too much notice of her long thighs exposed beneath her short and flimsy nightie.
"Did you turn on the light in the kitchen?" I asked Val.
"No, it was already on. All right, so he did find his way down there, but I can't imagine what sparked off all this hoo-ha."
Midge and I helped Kiwi sit on the edge of the sofabed; Bob lay on his back staring at the ceiling and murmuring to himself.
I lifted Kiwi's chin with a crooked finger so that I could look at her face. "What did Bob take tonight? I know he was on cannabis most of the evening, but he took something stronger when we all turned in, didn't he?"
I felt Midge's eyes on me and risked a glance at her. I shook my head slightly, an apology as much as anything else.
"Come on, Kiwi, we need to know," I persisted.
"He . . . he took some Chinese."
I closed my eyes and silently swore. Smack. Heroin. Cheap brown powder that was mixed with all kinds of impurities, often strychnine and other toxics. The stupid bloody idiot!
"Not . . . not much," she added quickly. "He only sniffed a little bit. He wanted me to join him, but the stuff makes me sick. It's not good for my sinuses."
Bob began to moan aloud and writhe on the bed. Then he sat bolt upright and slowly looked around the room. Still pallid, but his skin no longer having that eerie albescence, he shook less spasmodically than before, the movement becoming a steady tremble.
"This . . . pi—place . . ." he stammered.
It was Midge who came forward and put a gentle hand by the side of his neck.
"Bob, there's nothing here to harm you," she told him, her voice low and as gentle as her touch.
It took a while for his eyes to focus solely on her, and when they did his chest slumped as though he were suddenly exhausted. When he spoke, his words were tearfuclass="underline" "This fucking place . . . I've got to get out of here!"
"Hush, now," she said, and I saw her hand become reassuringly firmer against him. "There's nothing here to be afraid of.'"
For myself, I was angry at him, almost mad enough to pop him. He'd had no right to bring that stuff into our home, no right at all, especially when he knew Midge's feelings against all drugs, hard or soft. It took a lot of restraint not to choke him.
"Snap out of it, Bob," I told him severely. "You've snorted some bad shit, that's the strength of it." But I remembered the menace that I, myself, had experienced.
He seemed more in control of himself, and I think Midge's soothings had much to do with that. She continued talking to him, her tones moderated, her hand always working softly on the stiffened muscles of his neck and shoulder.
When he spoke again, the hysteria was held in check— only just, though. "There was something down there in the kitchen—"
"There's no one else in the cottage," I said.
"Not someone, something! Waiting for me in the dark, sitting there . . . ! Jesus, the stink! I can smell it now. Can't you? There's something terrible here!" His voice was rising in pitch once more.
"No, Bob," Midge replied calmly. "Gramarye is a good place, there's nothing bad here."
"You're wrong. Something's . . . something's . . ." His mouth flapped open; he couldn't find the words.
Kiwi was sobbing aloud again and Bob turned to her, then to me, almost desperately. "Mike, I'm not staying, I'm not staying here—"
"Take it easy," I said. "You're on a bad trip. It'll pass, just calm down."
"No, no way . . . this room . . . the walls . . ."
I knew what he meant. Hadn't I been sure the walls were moving closer, that mold was forming on them in the shadows? Or had his hallucination, his hysteria, insinuated itself into my own mind? Not much was certain to me any more inside the cottage.
"You can't leave in the middle of the night," I told him with a mildness I hardly felt. "For one thing, you can't drive in your present state, and for another, you need to calm down and sleep this off."
"Sleep? You're fucking crazy if you think I'm gonna sleep in this place!" He started looking around again, this time wildly.
"It's nearly three in the morning,"' put in Val, who hovered over us all, "much too late for traveling. We'll sit with you until it's light, then if you still want to, you can leave."
Every one of us jumped back when Bob screamed.
"Now! I've gotta get out now!"
He threshed around on the bed like a spoiled kid who couldn't get his own way. I grabbed him and pulled him back as he tried to leave the bed, pinning him there by his shoulders and needing all my strength to do so. I was alarmed to see spittle glistening the sides of his mouth.
"Leave him be!" Kiwi shouted, and began tugging at my arm. "I'll drive, I'll take him home!"
"He's in no condition—"
"I think it would be for the best, Mike."
I looked over my shoulder at Midge in surprise. "It could be dangerous for both of them with Bob in this state."
"He'll be better once he's away from here," she answered.
"We can't be sure of that."
"It's more dangerous for him to stay."
Bewildered, I turned my attention back to Bob; now tears were running from his face onto the pillow beneath him.
"She might be right," said Val. "I should let him go, Mike."
Uncertain, I relaxed my grip, but I didn't release him. "Bob, listen to me now." I held his jaw to make him look lit me. "You can get dressed and we'll take you down to your car. Kiwi will drive, okay? Can you understand me?"
" 'Course I can fucking understand you. Just let me up. Oh Christ, I've . . ." Again he couldn't finish the sentence.
I let go of him and rose from the sofabed. He sat and Kiwi pushed by me to throw her arms around his shoulders.
"Help him get dressed," I told her. "We'll wait downstairs."
The three of us stayed long enough to see that Bob was more in control of himself, and although his movements were erratic and he shivered as if chilled, he gave the appearance of having come to his senses a little more. But we could tell he was still very frightened.
"I'll make some coffee," said Midge quietly, and she and Val went to the stairs. I took time out to return to our bedroom and don jeans and sneakers, keeping the robe wrapped around me. I looked in on Bob again before going downstairs and found Kiwi already dressed, throwing spare clothes and bathroom things into their overnight bag, while Bob slowly did up the buttons of his shirt, his gaze fearfully roaming the room, checking that the walls weren't on the move again.
I was sorry for him and I was angry at him. And, of course, I was worried for him. But also, I was becoming very afraid for Midge and myself.
Kiwi helped Bob on with his jacket while I watched, ready to leap in and restrain him should his panic bubble over again: I could tell the hysteria was just below the surface, barely held in check.
"Bob," I said, "I'd feel better if you didn't leave . . ."
He looked at me as if I were the one in need of treatment, the wildness of his expression contrary to the usual appearance of someone on heroin: there was a kind of dreaminess there sure enough, but it was of the nightmare variety.
He suddenly gripped both my arms, his words forced and slurred. "What is . . . this place?"
And that was all he said.
He let go of me just as abruptly and grabbed Kiwi, pulling her toward the door. He stopped before the hallway, though, and his girlfriend had to support his weight as he swayed there. He kept shaking his head, and for a moment I thought he was going to faint.