The Making of the Representative for Planet 8

He sighed - and suffered. But he did not turn his face away.

'How are we going to tell them, Johor?'

He said nothing.

'Are you going to tell them - you, Canopus?... No, for that is not your way. You will be with us for a little, and soon we, the Representatives, will understand that everyone knows it already, but we will not know how this has happened.'

And now I was silent a long while, for my mind seemed to want to open itself to something - I felt the pressure of some truth working there in its depths.

'Johor, what is it I have to understand?'

'Have you ever thought what being a Representative is?'

'Do you imagine I have not lain awake at nights over it, have not thought, and wondered! Of course I have. That is what my life has been! Am I doing as I should for the best, making the good and proper decisions, working rightly and well with the other Representatives, expressing them as they...'

And my mind faded out again, into a place where truth was waiting for me.

'As they express me?' I asked at last.

'How did you become a Representative? When was it? Can you remember?'

'Funnily enough, it was only recently that I asked myself the same question. And it isn't easy to say exactly when it was. But I suppose you could say it was when several of us youngsters were assigned to work on a new section of the wall. We had to dig out the earth for the foundations. About twenty of us. Well, I became a spokesman for all of us.'

'Yes, but how?'

'That is what is hard to say. I feel it was probably a series of chances. Any one of them could have become spokesman, and at different times all of them were.'

'Any one of them could have represented the others?'

'Yes, I think so.'

'And you were Masson, for that time?'

'No, not yet - Masson was instructing us. At that time Masson was very many, because of having to get the wall built. We youngsters were apprenticed to Masson. Klin and Marl were there too, but that was before they became Klin and Marl. We had our family names still. We were not born into the adult world, there was no pressure on us yet to choose our adult names. The next time I represented others was at harvest, but we were taking it in turns to speak for everyone, and to allot tasks. And so it went on. I did all kinds of work, just like all the others. And all of us at various times were Representatives.'

'Yet some of these young people grew up to be Representatives and others did not?'

'Yes. I have been thinking about that. It is strange, for I can't see that those who did not were so different. And as for myself, I did not see myself then as someone who would be a Representative. I think it was not until I was Doeg that I became truly a Representative. Klin and Marl and myself were taken by Canopus to Planet 10. We were not formally instructed, but taken everywhere around it to see how their people lived, and how differently things were done there. It was the people from Planet 10 who were instructing the Rohandans, you say - before things went wrong there. But we did not know when we visited Planet 10 that there was any special link between us and those people, or could have been. But of course we could see that they were much more developed than we were. And when we three came back from Planet 10, we were all Doeg, for then we travelled everywhere over our planet and told what we had seen. And everybody marvelled - for before that people had not been taken abroad from our planet to other places. I wonder why you chose us, Johor? I remember wondering then! Because we were in no way different from any of the others. Perhaps we had all three done more of the different kinds of work than others, but not so very much more. No, when we talked about it, because of course we did among ourselves, we concluded that we were chosen because of our ordinariness. And we held on to that thought when we came back and became a nine days' wonder with our amazing stories... It was then I first noticed that always when one is telling of something done or seen or experienced, it becomes a story, a tale... at any rate, our people listened as if to some tale or legend. But you have only to begin: We were taken to this or that city, and it was such a time of the day, and we were met by - and at once there is something marvellous about it, and they have to know what is going to happen next! And this is true even when you are telling of something quite ordinary, let alone of a new planet! Since then I have remained Doeg nearly all of the time, though Klin and Marl have not. Though I have been Klin and Marl and Pedug and Masson, when needed. But Doeg is my nature, I suppose.'

'And when you were one of the five Representatives of the Representatives?'

'Oh, that was convenience, chance - people are chosen almost at random.'

'Any one of the Representatives can represent the others?'

'Yes! You know that! You know everything I am telling you - yes, I understand that I have to tell myself what I know - but we sit here, we sit talking, you and I, the pair of us, and you prod and you push me to say things that I suppose are important

'Unless you expect me not to take you seriously when you ask questions? Shall I ignore them, because you already know the answers? Representative Doeg, whom do you represent? And what are you?'

He leaned forward at this, looking straight into my face, but what welled up in me then put an end to a moment that could have saved me so much questioning, and pain. But we may not hasten certain processes in ourselves: they have to work their way, and often enough, without our active or conscious aid.

I was thinking of our poor peoples; the pain of their fate invaded me, the waste of it, the waste...

Johor said drily: 'This is a lavish and generous universe.'

'You mean, it can afford the deaths of a few million people.'

'Is death something new to you? Is it only now that you begin to contemplate death - what it means?'

'Are you saying to me that the deaths of old people who have had their lives and who have used them are the same as the deaths we have to confront now?'

'Have children and young people and even infants never died with you? Have you only had to come to terms with the deaths of the aged?'

'You cannot be saying to me that it does not matter if the populations of a whole planet have to die - a species?'

'I have not said it did not matter. Nor that we, Canopus, do not feel pain at what is happening. Nor, Doeg, that we have not done everything to prevent this happening. Nor that we are not...'

But indignation made me cut him short. 'But you are not able to space-lift off this planet its doomed millions? You do not have a little unwanted planet somewhere that we could be given to use and develop and make fruitful? You have no use for us?'

'Are those really questions, Doeg? Very well, I shall treat them as such - though ask yourself, does Canopus, in your experience, deal in rhetoric? No, we are not able to take off from Planet 8 all your populations. We do not have the resources...'

But again I was so thoroughly possessed by indignation that i could not let him go on, and I exclaimed: 'You do not have the resources! Or are you saying that some of us will be taken off, leaving the rest to their fates? If you are saying this, then I, for one, will refuse! I am not going to be saved at the expense of others! And I know that every one of the Representatives will say the same! We have not spent our lives working for our peoples, expressing our peoples, being our peoples, only to abandon them at the end...' My mind blacked out there, and for a long time. I knew it had been a long time, when I came to myself and found I was sitting there, in the cold shed, opposite Johor, who was patiently waiting.