And he had died.
Had she not died, as well?
Padraig came to stand beside her on the deck, but this time when Rosamunde turned to her most trusted friend, she saw him with clear eyes. He was tall and hale, was Padraig, experience tempering his expression and his choices. His dark hair was touched with silver at the temples, she noted, and there were lines from laughter etched around his eyes. His tan made his eyes look more vividly blue, and she was struck by his vitality.
By his masculinity.
With the clarity of hindsight, she saw what she had missed day after day in his company. Padraig was of an age with her, and they had shared a thousand adventures. He was unafraid of her truth, much less of her temper. He was quick to laughter; he was clever; he dared to challenge her when he believed her to be wrong. He was deeply loyal and she had always been able to rely upon him.
Her heart began to pound at the magnitude of her error, at her own blind folly.
«I will go into the caverns alone,» she said, feeling the words she had once uttered as they crossed her tongue in this dream. Her quest had been the retrieval of a silver ring, once given to her by Tynan, demanded by the spriggan Darg as the price of its assistance, but returned by her to Tynan after his rejection. It had not been hers to take, but on this day she had returned to steal it to ensure the future of her niece.
«I will accompany you,» Padraig said, determination in his tone. They shared this resolve to protect those they loved, Rosamunde realized, this ability to stride into the shadows so others would not be compelled to do so.
She and Padraig had walked the periphery of society together, daring all as they challenged convention.
At each other’s backs.
While Tynan had upheld convention. He had found Rosamunde useful, he had accepted her favours abed, but he had never respected her or intended to honour her. It was no surprise in hindsight to realize that Tynan could never have loved her in truth.
«No, not this time,» she argued in her dream, just as she had argued on that fateful morning.
She saw Padraig for what he was. She saw the ardour in his eyes. She saw his fear for her. She saw his valour and his loyalty, and she guessed the secret of his heart.
And Rosamunde regretted that she had surrendered her love to the wrong man.
She had suspected as much on that day. The ghost of the realization had teased at her thoughts, urged her to choose otherwise, made her words tumble forth with uncharacteristic haste. «Take the ship,» she told him, in this dream as she had then. «See me ashore, then take the ship and sail south to Sicily.»
It had been their jest, all those years, that they would one day sell everything and live out their lives in Sicily. They had both preferred the sun’s sultry heat there to the chill of the north.
«But what of the contents?» Padraig’s displeasure was clear.
«Sell them, sell them wherever you can fetch a fair price for them, and keep the proceeds for your own.»
«But.»
«I owe you no less for all your years of faithful service.» It was a facile lie and they both had known it, even then.
«But the ship?»
«Sell it as well, or keep it for your own. I do not care, Padraig.» Rosamunde uttered that heartfelt sigh, acknowledging the shadow of dread that touched her heart. «I have had wealth and I have had love. Love is better.»
It was a lie. She had never had Tynan’s love. She had had the illusion of his love, and had been seduced by that. She had had no more than the physical expression of his love, and that was a paltry offering.
On the other hand, Rosamunde saw in her dream that Padraig’s love had been before her, awaiting her invitation, for years.
«You will fare well enough,» she said in her dream, and the declaration of her gift of foresight struck her as ironic. «I have seen it and we know that whatsoever I see will be true.»
«What do you see for yourself?» Padraig asked softly, his survey of her so searching that Rosamunde could scarce hold his gaze. He frowned and looked away. «I always said that you saw farther than most, but could not see what was before your own eyes.»
There was a truth in his claim that she had missed on that red-stained morning. She declared her destiny to be at Ravensmuir, seeing in her dream how the notion displeased Padraig.
How could she have missed such an offering?
How could she have overlooked the affection of one who knew her better than she knew herself? She had been a fool and lost her life because of it. If only she had another chance, she would seize the opportunity Padraig presented to her.
«Farewell, Padraig,» she heard herself say. «May the wind always fill your sails when you have need of it.»
And Padraig embraced her, catching her close. She could feel the muscled strength of him, the resolve of him, the power he oft held in check. In her dream, she closed her eyes and savoured what she had lost through her own folly.
His voice was husky when he spoke. «We have fought back to back a hundred times, Rosamunde, and always I will consider you to be my friend.» His blue eyes filled with heat as he regarded her. «You have been my only friend, but a friend of such merit that I had need of no other.»
«No soul ever had a friend more loyal than I found in you,» she said, her heart aching at her own folly.
«I did,» Padraig said, his words fierce. His gaze bored into hers, then he turned away, staring at the cliffs of Ravensmuir. «I did,» he added softly.
And in her dream, Rosamunde did what she should have done on that day. She reached out. She touched Padraig’s shoulder. She saw his surprise when he turned towards her. Then she caught him close, hearing the thunder of her pulse in her own ears, and kissed him.
It was a sweet, hot kiss, a kiss that sent a torrent of longing through her. It was a kiss tinged with regret, filled with love, a kiss of yearning and potency. It left her dizzy. It left her hot.
It left Rosamunde wide awake and blinking at a ceiling she could not place.
Was she not dead?
It appeared not. She was simply alone. She touched her lips, caught her breath, and dared to wish.
Padraig awoke abruptly, his heart racing and his breath coming in quick spurts. He was hot and tight, the taste of Rosamunde upon his lips.
He had also slept, apparently, in the field.
The sun was rising in the east, gilding the hills and setting the dewdrops ablaze. He stared around himself. He was alone. He was cold and his clothing was damp with dew. The stone circle was a dozen steps away, silent in its secrets. The women were gone, if indeed they had ever existed, and there was no music echoing in his ears. No lyre, no small faeries, no footsteps in the grass.
Padraig heard a man shout at a cow as he drove her along the road to town.
He ran his fingers through his hair and his tongue across his lips. He tasted the kiss of Rosamunde again, closing his eyes at the rush of pleasure he’d felt beneath her touch.
Rosamunde had never kissed him.
Except in his dream.
He had indulged too much the night before. It was the ale, confounding him, feeding his desire and leading him astray.
Padraig shoved to his feet, grimacing at the distance he had to walk back to town. His feet were still sore and his head ached. He made to brush himself down, removing the twigs strewn across his clothes, and realized there was something in his hand.
It was a stone. The stone was round with a hole in the middle of it. It was the colour of gold. Was this the golden ring he believed the Faerie Queen had given him?
Padraig smiled at his own foolish dream. He had been in his cups. Still, a stone of such a shape was unusual. It might be lucky. He was possessed of all of the superstitions of a seafaring man and a few more besides, courtesy of his mother’s upbringing in these hills and her respect for the fey. If nothing else, it would be an error to cast the gift aside where the donor might witness his rudeness.