“He’s dangerous in this state. All those old horror movies didn’t come out of thin air. That’s why so many wolves are here. We can’t let him get away.”
At the moment, Steve remained perfectly still. He wasn’t going anywhere.
“Stay here.” Jake turned away, leaving her to go look for something in the pile of coats and shoes left heaped by one of the lanterns.
Selina felt his absence as if she had suddenly been set adrift. There was nothing to anchor her in that shifting sea of cloud and grass and whispering cedars.
Last time I knocked Steve out and that wasn’t the answer. How can I help now?
Then Steve began to stir, and she understood. As consciousness returned, his emotions rippled like a shockwave, slamming into her with all the force of an atomic blast. Steve had blacked out from pure terror, and he couldn’t turn unless he was awake and aware. She had to keep him calm enough to complete the change. Magic had to be the sedative science hadn’t invented.
Selina felt a sudden urge to vomit. Sharing Steve’s fear long enough to see him through the change would be like falling into that churning vortex of panic. If Steve didn’t tear her to shreds first. She started to shake. I’m not a coward. I’m not a coward.
Jake rejoined the circle, holding a weapon big enough to atomize an elephant.
“Please tell me it’s a tranquilizer gun,” she rasped.
Jake looked stricken. “Sedatives didn’t work on him, remember?”
“Why do you have to shoot him? You’re a doctor.”
“I’m also the pack leader.” He said it in a voice meant to end debate. “I have to bear the responsibility.”
She could feel Jake’s heart breaking as he said it. Selina’s mouth went dry. “Steve’s just afraid.”
“That’s the problem.” Jake’s mouth flattened.
“I’m scared, too.” She couldn’t help saying it.
“I know,” he said. Regret and desperation warred in his voice. “But I have this rifle, and thirty-two werewolves are ready to tear his head off if he so much as growls at you. You’ll be safe, but that doesn’t mean the magic won’t be ugly. He’s terrified, so I know it’s going to be hard on you. I’m sorry.”
Selina gulped air. Jake was right. Steve radiated a slimy film of panic. Her heart began to beat faster, making his fear her own.
No, no, no! She’d left the supernatural community to get away from her unpredictable magic. Jake was making her face it again. She really, really didn’t want to do that.
But Jake had asked, and Steve needed her, and — as hard as it was to admit it — Selina needed to be whole again.
Now Steve was getting up, his limbs not quite working properly. His feet had an extra joint, making him wobble worse than Selina did in her high heels. He fell forward to all fours, the motion jerky with pain. Craning his neck, rising up on his haunches, Steve let out a moan that grew and swelled and shivered into a howl. A handful of the wolves responded, filling the chill air with a sound that seemed to fall in veils, layer on layer of mournful, haunting notes.
They were encouraging Steve, helping him along, but they were grieving with him, too. Tears streamed down Selina’s face, her whole body aching to take away that sorrow. It was the loss of everything Steve had known, even his own flesh.
And the loss of everything I worked for.
Jake, on the other hand, had raised the muzzle of his gun. Selina grabbed the barrel, forcing it down. “What are you doing?” she hissed.
“If he’s going to rush us, it’ll be now.”
Selina swore long and hard enough that several of the wolves looked astonished. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, not caring anymore if her makeup smudged. She had a sudden flashback to Gary crashing into the cereal boxes at the grocery store, helplessly floundering because there was no one willing to pick him up.
She had dealt with Gary. She would deal with Steve.
But Steve was the terrifying black vortex. Nevertheless, she stepped forward. Jake stepped with her, rifle at the ready.
“Back off,” she said.
“You’re not doing this alone.”
“I’m not doing this with you hanging over my shoulder. I’m trying to get rid of his fear. You’re pointing a gun at his head.”
“But—”
Selina turned on him. “Trust me. Do what no one else has done for me and trust my magic!”
Jake said nothing, but he lowered the gun. His eyes held all his objections.
Selina ignored them.
Steve was silent now, slumped in an awkward squatting position. He was panting, globs of drool and blood stringing from his malformed jaws. Fangs had punched through his gums like ivory razors.
She slowly approached, dropping her shields a bit at a time. Emotion blasted from him with a bonfire’s heat. Fear. Pain. Despair. She realized he recognized her and knew she was the one who had helped him at Jake’s office. She had made the change stop.
Steve reached out with one imploring, claw-tipped hand. The gesture said everything. Make this nightmare end.
Trembling so hard her teeth chattered, she took his hand. You just need to go a little further and everything will be all right.
The moment she touched him, she felt the undertow of his panic sucking at the edges of her mind. The black whirlpool churned with sickening speed. Survival instincts screamed at her to back away. Selina felt her shields closing down, the reflex as inevitable as squinting against the sun.
No! Steve’s hand — paw — tightened around hers, the strength of his terrified grip grinding the bones of her fingers together. Don’t leave me.
Selina’s consciousness flowed into Steve’s mind. Before, she’d snuffed out his fear like flame, but this time there was only the dark panic filling his soul. She felt it as their thoughts collided, hurtling her into a chasm of fear. He gave a wrenching, ragged scream, a creature forever snared in a merciless trap. His thoughts grabbed her, a suffocating embrace.
Hold on! Selina cried. His terror sucked her down, like a drowning man dragging his rescuer under. Selina fought with sheer willpower, struggling against the undertow of raw emotion. We will not go under.
But she was losing.
In the physical realm, Jake closed the distance between them. Selina felt his presence like a shadow across the moon, distant from the place where she strained to anchor Steve. He put a warm hand on her shoulder.
Jake was urging her, offering something. Her conscious mind was confused, but her powers were intuitive. They clutched at him, seeking the information Steve’s body required. They needed the template to change. Show us how.
Within the three-way link, energy began to flow, as if a dam had washed away. All at once, she felt the change come over Steve, fur flowing, bones reshaping themselves. Her physical self felt the shift. The hand she held was suddenly a hand no more, but a broad, powerful paw.
Through her, Jake showed Steve how to finish the change. Unfortunately, while Steve’s body was ready, his senses lagged after.
What’s happening? Steve demanded. Human needs were falling away, wolf thoughts crashing into their place. A hunger for meat and flesh tangled with thousands of scents, each a puzzle to be decoded. Steve’s thoughts stuttered, unable to sort through it all. Overwhelmed.
The panic had slowed for an instant. Now it came lurching back.
The sudden jolt made Selina falter, and her half-fey strength wasn’t enough to hold on. Everything she’d feared came true. In an instant, she was in his panic, going under like the spars of a wrecked ship. With a plaintive wail, her own psychic scream joined Steve’s.