“But you had direct contact with the Russians just prior to your arrival at Harnell. Is that correct?”
“Well, yes. But-—”
“And then there were disturbances, violence involving young commies and nig—Nee-groes.”
“That’s true. But—”
“And now you show up here with a heathen Indian lawyer involved in yet another insurrection by a godless group of savages who we have good reason to think are being manipulated by Moscow or Peking or Havana, or all three. Wouldn’t you say that was an interesting coincidence, Mr. Relevant?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re beating around the bush, Orville,” Senator Wingright interrupted. “Let me have a crack at him. Now then, Mr. Witness, are you trying to tell us that the trouble at Harnell wasn’t part of the overall communist conspiracy to wreck the educational structure of this country?”
“I don’t believe so. I think it was just a reaction on the part of black students to a symbol that—”
“You mean the statue?” Senator Carver interrupted.
“Yes, sir.”
“But we have it on good authority that the statue is of an Indian. Why should that arouse the black students?” Senator Carver wanted to know.
“Senator Wingright was talking,” Senator Schizoid pointed out to Senator Carver. “And you interrupted him.”
“I beg the Senator’s pardon.”
“Don’t you go getting uppity now,” Senator Schizoid cautioned. “Remember your place. As for you,” he told Jonathan Relevant, “answer the question.”
“The black students didn’t know it was a statue of an Indian. They thought it was a statue of a black man.”
“You reckon they’re not too bright?” Senator Schizoid wondered.
Before Jonathan Relevant could respond, Senator Minstrel got into the act. “Let’s assume the black boys were dupes,” he said. “But what about those middle-class white radical kids? Who told them what to do?”
“Nobody.”
“Are you trying to say those kids just started wrecking the college on their own initiative?”
“Yes.”
“Well, let me tell you that in California, we know better. We know those kids are propagandized and trained by the commies. And we handle them accordingly. They’re subversives and we shoot them!”
“That should bring them to their senses,” Jonathan Relevant murmured.
“Love America, or leave it!” Senator Minstrel shouted.
“Keep calm, George.” Senator Wingright tried to soothe him.
“I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy . . .” Senator Minstrel broke into song and performed a little two-step.
“Very nice, George.” Senator Schizoid applauded politely. “But would you sit down now so we can get on with this hearing? Thanks. Now, Mr. Relevant, we’re specifically concerned with who instigated the involvement of Indian students in the riots at Harnell.”
“A CIA agent. If anybody instigated them, he did.”
“The Witness is not being responsive to the question!” Senator Wingright was indignant.
“Now just hold on a minute,” Senator Compromise spoke up. “Don’t harass the witness. What he’s saying interests me very much. The CIA! Hmm. Am I to understand that there was a CIA provocateur among the students?”
“Yes, sir.”
“And he was instrumental in provoking the trouble at Harnell?”
“Some of it. Yes, sir.”
“I see.” Senator Compromise jotted down some notes.
“Now, come on, Irving.” Senator Schizoid spoke to Senator Compromise in a wheedling tone. “You don’t want to open that can of worms.”
“Why not?” Senator Compromise asked.
“Because,” Senator Schizoid whispered, “Strom wouldn't like it.”
Senator Comprornise’s neck turned pale and he tore up the slip of paper.
Senator Wingright took over the questioning. “Mr. Witness, it has been suggested that a certain notorious pediatrician has through his nefarious theories of permissiveness undermined the discipline which is the very basis of our American system. It has been further suggested that this doctor has done this because he is working for the communists. This man has not only undermined the authority of parents and the respect of youth for them, he has also set about undermining the American military system, which is the foundation of the security of the United States. Are you familiar with the man of whom I am speaking?”
“I know of him. Yes, sir.”
“How would you characterize his role in the trouble at Harnell.”
“As far as I know, he isn’t involved.”
“How can you say that, Mr. Witness?” Senator Schizoid’s corrugated skull turned livid. “Have you any idea what percentage of the student body at Harnell were raised by the insidious theories of perrnissiveness promulgated by this man?”
“No, sir.”
“Over ninety percent! Over ninety percent, Mr. Witness! What do you have to say to that?”
“I’m afraid I don’t see—”
“You don’t see!” The corrugations rippled ominously. “Do you realize that this doctrine is opposed to toilet training? Do you know what that means?”
“A lot of dirty diapers,” Jonathan Relevant guessed.
“Don’t be flippant, Mr. Witness! It means lack of discipline! It means that we have raised a generation of savages! It means that all of the students at Harnell are Indians!”
“My God, if he’s right,” Judge Tutored Foot Whispered, “we may yet get the country back.”
“Why would you want it?” Jonathan Relevant wondered.
“The witness has not responded to the question,” Senator Wingright pointed out.
“I’ll rephrase the question,” Senator Schizoid decided. “Now then, Mr. Relevant, do you believe that American children should be denied the discipline of toilet training?"
“Yes.”
“I see.” The corrugations compressed disapprovingly. “And do you believe that children should be allowed to challenge the wisdom of their elders?”
“I do.”
“Then I assume that you believe that high-school-age children should be able to tell their teachers what to teach?”
“Well, they should certainly be able to tell their teachers what they want to learn. If they’re being taught physics and chemistry and their observation of the world around them shows that these sciences are polluting the atmosphere and the oceans, then they should be able to point out to their teachers that the need is not to educate another generation of technicians, but rather to train large numbers of conservationists. If the counselors in their schools, as the evidence indicates, are perpetuating economic racism by guiding minority-group members into dead-end occupations while middle-class white kids are being pointed toward the more lucrative professions, then I think the kids have the right to insist on a say in the selection of these advisers, a voice that will result in the appointment of counselors more sensitive to their needs. There are other examples. . . .”
“In other words”-—-Senator Schizoid’s voice was heavy with sarcasm—“the young should instruct the old; the students should teach the teachers. The younger you are, the smarter you are; the older you are, the dumber you are.”
“I didn’t say that,” Jonathan Relevant protested mildly. “But I would say that the younger you are, the less corrupted you’ve had a chance to become. The older you are, the more you’ve been inculcated with the values of a society that has become lemminglike.”
“Values!” Senator Wingright’s red fringe danced on his neck. “That’s just what we’re talking about! These kids today, those kids at Harnell, are running amok, destroying all the values of the society!”
“I don’t think so.” Jonathan Relevant was thoughtful. “I think they’re conscious—many of them, anyway—of the values, but feel that their elders are the ones who have betrayed those values. Harnell is a good example. They hear about democracy-—the students, I mean—-and their lives are regulated by an administrative autocracy. They are taught the idealism of the American Revolution and find their school cooperating in the research and development of new weapons to be used in the squelching of agrarian revolutions in other countries. They believe in equality and each day in dozens of ways, minority-group students at Harnell are denied equality. It’s not the values the students are attacking—not the majority of them, anyway. It’s the dichotomy between the ideals and the performance. The older generation accepts that dichotomy. The rebellious students want to destroy it. The real target is hypocrisy.”