JOHN: …I will.
Dan gives Sandy a friendly kiss and walks off.
SANDY: So, John Oldman. What other pun names have you used?
Will is slowly exiting, inadvertently sneaking up on them.
JOHN: Lots. John Paley for John Paleolithic. John Savage— Got really crazy about 60 years ago, when I was teaching at Harvard, I was John Thomas Partee. John T. Partee— Boston tea party—
Will who is right behind them now takes a step back with a look of shock on his face.
SANDY: I get it.
JOHN: Yeah, I know.
WILL: Wait, wait, wait. B-Boston? 60 years ago? J-John Partee?
John puts a hand on his mouth.
WILL: (angrily) You did not teach chemistry! I do not believe you!
JOHN: (putting his arm on Will’s shoulder) Your mother’s name was Nola.
WILL: No. No! Yea— Yes, Nola. (crying) My mother! (angrily) I reject this! My— My— My dog’s name. We had him before I was born.
JOHN: (smiling and nodding) Woofie.
WILL: Woof— Woof— Woofie… (sobbing)
JOHN: Gruber. She remarried?
WILL: (sobbing angrily) She said you abandoned us.
JOHN: Sorry, I had to move on. You know that. I left enough. I left enough.
WILL: I–I’m cooold!
JOHN: (putting his arm around him and escorting him inside) Chilly Willy, always cold. Never could stand the cold.
WILL: (Sobs) Wait, you— you had a beard! (stroking his face)
JOHN: Yeah, you used to tug on it to see if it was real.
WILL: (sobbing) Agh! (clutching his chest in pain)
JOHN: Will! God. Call an ambulance, now!
(Will gasps, collapses with John holding him)
JOHN: Come on, Willy. Will. Come on, buddy.
(Siren blaring, fade out)
fin