cry but I couldn’t. The prince in my novel was reduced to S 27
a mass of unreadable words.
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1
The minutes went by and I kept sinking. At some point 2
Narciss came in. She had sent Geraldo away, but I didn’t 3
care. She wanted coffee and I made it, but the brew was 4
unbearably weak and she took no more than a sip.
5
“Are you okay?” she asked. “I mean, you look kind of 6
sad.”
7
“Fine,” I said.
8
“Is this a good time to talk?”
9
“Sure.”
10
“It’s about those masks.” Narciss was excited. She took 11
a large book from her shoulder bag and opened it. Be-12
cause I didn’t move my head, she pulled her chair next to 13
mine and opened to a page marked by a red ribbon. On 14
the page was a carven mask that resembled the three masks 15
on my windowsill.
16
“Passport masks,” she said. “That’s what this is and it’s 17
also what we found in that box. They were used as iden-18
tification but also as a way of bringing home along with 19
you when you were away on a long journey. It’s hard to 20
say, but the masks you have could represent a family, 21
maybe three brothers or friends who set sail for America 22
as indentured servants. The majority of passport masks 23
are made of wood, so the fact that these are ivory might 24
have special significance.”
25
“Uh-huh,” I said because she seemed to be waiting for 26
some kind of response.
27 S
“They might have belonged to rich men, maybe even 28 R
royalty. Your family might descend from a direct blood-96
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line of kings. ” The emphasis she put on kings was dra-1
matic and full of feeling.
2
But if I was a prince, I too had forgotten.
3
“I’m getting hungry.” It was almost impossible for me 4
to get out those few words. “Why don’t you write me or 5
call about the stuff, you know, that you’re selling.”
6
“But these masks —”
7
“I have to talk about it later. Later.”
8
I was looking at the book, the picture of a longish face 9
carved from wood. The eyes were gouged out, making a 10
ridge for the nose. The forehead was high and the mouth 11
was just a slit. Narciss’s hands closed the book and then 12
pulled it away. I heard her chair sliding backward. As she 13
moved away the air on that side seemed to cool, as if her 14
body heat had been keeping me warm.
15
I didn’t want her to go but I couldn’t even look up —
16
much less ask her to stay.
17
“The boy so retarded he sit on the toilet waitin’ for in-18
spiration to wipe his ass.” That’s what my uncle Brent 19
used to say about me on report-card day four times a year.
20
That’s how I felt.
21
I heard the front door close.
22
My descent progressed even though I didn’t move a 23
muscle for a very long time.
24
25
26
S 27
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PART TWO
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C 14
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I closed the windows and locked the front and back C 14
doors at 3:00 in the morning. I snapped the phone con-15
nections out of the wall and moved the masks down into 16
my father’s library. I slept with the money and the masks 17
for a day and a half. People came to the front door but I 18
didn’t answer. Once Ricky came around to the library 19
window and called out my name. After he was gone I 20
connected the phone long enough to call his mother’s 21
house and leave a message on his answering machine.
22
“I’m okay, Ricky,” I said. “Just thinking about some 23
stuff, so I need to spend some time alone.”
24
After that I disconnected the phone again and spent al-25
most the next six weeks alone in my house. I only went 26
out for pizzas and whiskey. And as time went by, I had less S 27
and less desire to see or speak to anyone.
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I got letters, mainly from Bethany. Long yearning let-2
ters about wanting to see me and asking what was wrong.
3
Ricky had told her about my phone message, and she said 4
that she was worried about me. Every letter she sent was 5
more intimate and more passionate. They were long let-6
ters, ten to twelve pages in a rolling cursive hand. I didn’t 7
finish most of them but I got the gist. On week three she 8
broke up with Ricky and wanted to see me. By week five 9
she confessed her love.
10
“I don’t know how it happened, Charlie,” she wrote.
11
But I love you. I love you more than any other man I 12
have ever known. There’s something so strong and gentle 13
about you. You don’t care what people think and you just 14
follow your own mind. I don’t know what you’re doing 15
or thinking right now, but I hope when you’re ready that 16
you will call me and see how deep I feel.
17
18
I got a letter from Narciss Gully too.
19
“Dear Mr. Blakey,” she wrote.
20
21
Enclosed you will find a check for six hundred dollars 22
thirty-two. This is from the sale of four of your great-aunt’s 23
paintings to the African American Experience Museum in 24
Charleston, South Carolina. They were very excited to ob-25
tain these works and wish to buy more. First I thought that 26
I would see how you felt you were being represented. I 27 S
tried to get you on the phone, but there’s never any answer.
28 R
I also wanted to apologize about the way I acted at your 102
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house. I realized afterward that you were saddened over 1
the loss of so much of your family’s history and that Ger-2
aldo and I were like invaders in your home. I would like 3
to make it up to you by buying you a dinner sometime. I 4
know it seems that we’re always at cross-purposes when it 5
comes to dinner, but I’m sure we can make it work.
6
Please advise,
7
Narciss
8
9
I wrote a note in response:
10
11
Dear Ms. Gully,
12
You seem to be handling the sales well. Please continue 13
as you see fit. I’ve been under the weather lately, but 14