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25

“Naw. Momma’s mad but Daddy just laughed.”

26

She was wearing loose shorts and a pink blouse that S 27

didn’t make it down to her navel. She caught my eye and R 28

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I thought about Anniston Bennet — about how he was 2

as unashamed as a child.

3

“When can you go back?” I asked.

4

“I gotta go Friday. I don’t see why I can’t just have the 5

whole week off.” She was bothered, but nothing kept 6

Athalia down for long. She gave me a big grin and opened 7

the door for me. I went through the small ranch-style 8

house toward the back. There was no one in the dining 9

room. Through the window I could see big Clarance sit-10

ting down to a meal at his cast-iron patio table. He was 11

wearing shorts like his daughter, with a strap undershirt 12

and red thongs. The iron table and chair were painted 13

lime green. Behind him was a child’s rubber pool in the 14

middle of the back lawn. Clarance’s house was a small af-15

fair, built in the midfifties. His family had lived in the 16

Harbor for at least a hundred years, but they came from 17

slaves down in Georgia. He still had cousins in Atlanta.

18

He saw me through the window and waved a turkey 19

drumstick at me.

20

Once outside I hailed him. “Hey, Clarance.”

21

“Charles.” He used his drumstick to point out an iron 22

chair, which I dragged to the table.

23

“You want some food?” he asked me.

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“No, thanks.”

25

“You look like you could use somethin’, man,” he said.

26

“You losin’ weight?”

27 S

That was what was different about my image in the 28 R

mirror.

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“How are you, Clarance?”

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“Can’t complain. Athalia had a Playgirl magazine at 2

school and they kicked her out. Can you imagine that?

3

Here they had lawyers holding up the president’s dick on 4

TV every night and they wanna suspend a girl for buyin’

5

a magazine off the rack.”

6

“Sorry if I was rude when I saw you at the train sta-7

tion,” I said.

8

That raised Clarance’s eyebrows a notch. It might have 9

been the first apology that I ever gave without being 10

forced into it.

11

“That’s okay,” he said. “You okay?”

12

“Been thinkin’. Been thinkin’.”

13

“About what?”

14

“I don’t know, Clarance. I guess I’m wondering why I’m 15

out here doin’ what I do. You know, there’s nothing to it.”

16

“What you mean?”

17

“It’s like I’ve been asleep my whole life,” I said. “And 18

even now it feels like I’m still asleep, or almost out. I wake 19

up for a minute and then three days go by and I wake up 20

again.”

21

“You mean you been up in your bed all this time?”

22

“Naw, man. Not sleeping — sleepwalking. I wake up 23

and I’m in a store buying pot roast. Or somebody’s talk-24

ing to me, I mean I’m in the middle of a conversation, 25

and I don’t even know what the person just said. I don’t 26

even know what we’re talking about or how I even got S 27

there. You know?”

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I could tell that Clarance was concerned because he 2

stopped eating.

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“Like you black out?” he asked.

4

“No. If I think about it, I remember, but it’s hard to 5

concentrate. It’s like nothing is important enough to 6

think about.”

7

What I was saying to Clarance had always been true for 8

me — my whole life. Not a single day went by that I 9

wasn’t lost in daydreams. Teachers talking at you, my 10

mother or father telling me what was right or wrong. The 11

reason I didn’t watch TV was because I couldn’t sit still for 12

a movie or sitcom. Halfway through a war film I still 13

wasn’t sure which side was which. I could read books, fun 14

books, and I could follow an animal through the woods 15

for hours. A blaze in the fireplace could keep my atten-16

tion for a whole night. But anybody telling me anything 17

was just a waste of good breath, as my uncle Brent used 18

to say.

19

“Maybe you drinkin’ too much,” Clarance said.

20

“Maybe.”

21

“You want a job, Charles?”

22

“What kind of job?”

23

“Driving a taxi. I could hook you up there.”

24

I looked at Clarance, feeling like I had just come awake 25

again. His act of kindness felt like the gentle nudge my 26

mother used to give me when I was too tired to get up the 27 S

first time she called.

28 R

“I got money,” I said.

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“How’d you get that?”

1

“Cat introduced me to Narciss Gully. She has an an-2

tique business. She specializes in quilts, but she’s helping 3

me sell the stuff that was in my cellar. It’s a lotta money.”

4

“How much?”

5

“Enough for the mortgage and a couple’a years or so.”

6

Clarance didn’t have much money. He worked hard at 7

the taxi business, and his wife, Mona, was a nurse at the 8

hospital in Southampton. Their families had nothing to 9

give them. They spent everything on their kids. And so 10

when Clarance still had concern on his face for my di-11

lemma, I understood that he was a real friend. We’d 12

known each other for thirty-three years, my whole life, 13

and that was the first moment that I knew he really cared 14

for me.

15

“I got to go, Mr. Mayhew,” I said.

16

“You just got here. Stay for a while. Maybe we could go 17

pick up Cat after work and go to some bars.”

18

“No,” I said. “But thank you. Thank you. And I’m 19

sorry if I ever made you mad, man. You know I was just 20

jealous. See ya.”

21

I stood up from the iron chair and walked out past the 22

teenager on the front porch. I glanced at her and realized 23

that she was thumbing through the naked photographs in 24

the Playgirl magazine that got her suspended.

25

“Bye, Thalia.”

26

“Bye, Mr. Blakey. You come on back, okay?”

S 27

R 28

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14 C

Bennet was dressed when I returned. Seated in the red 15

chair, he wasn’t reading or doing anything else as far as I 16

could see.

17

“Mr. Dodd-Blakey,” he said in greeting.

18

“Mr. Bennet,” I replied.

19

It was an acknowledgment, the beginning of an under-20

standing.

21

I pulled the trunk up to his cell and sat.

22