I asked them all to line up against the wall in the hallway. They obeyed, and I got on my knees again, and looked down the line. Their cocks were standing at attention and I was in ecstasy! Five male organs, all ready to come for the second time! I wanted them to choke me, to flood me, to give me their life-giving sperm! I needed them more than I had ever needed anything. I felt as if I were suddenly loved, as if I were suddenly not so alone.
I sucked on Phil as the others watched. The hippie with the big cock came to help me, licking Phil's ass and rubbing his balls as I sucked. He was very cool and uninhibited, and when Phil came we moved to the next person, who was the other hippie boy, and as I sucked his cock, his friend fucked him in the ass! I couldn't believe it, but it excited me because it was different and perverse and new for me. Each time the hippie with the big cock shoved it up his friend's asshole, the cock slammed into my throat. The older man stood next to me, beating his meat again, and came all over my naked shoulders.
The hippie came, and his friend evidently came in his asshole, because he shouted in pleasure and then sort of collapsed on the floor with his friend. I went on to Jack, to his long slender cock, and sucked it passionately until he too came for a second time!
I was drunk on come, dizzy from the beautiful white liquid! I lay back on the floor and Jack sucked my pussy while Phil licked my tits, but I didn't feel a thing. My head was still between all their legs and I started remembering Joe and the many Chinese boys I had sucked off in Chinatown before leaving San Francisco. From the alleys behind Grant Avenue to a photographer's studio on Fifth Avenue in New York City, I was doing the thing I knew best, sucking the male penis for all it was worth and all I was worth.
I'm nuts about it, nuts for it, and sometimes, lately, I'm beginning to think I'm really nuts. I have dreams of men beating me with their cocks, of them standing above me and slapping me across the face with their big hard organs. I see handsome young men dressed in blue jeans pulling out their cocks and pissing on me. I see Chinese men opening their pants to me, American men, all kinds of men. I dream of cocks, big and small, circumcised and uncircumcised, hand and soft, filling my mouth. I'm obsessed to the point where I'm beginning to be afraid of myself.
I met a guy – Paul – about five months ago. We dated, and I let him fuck me because I cared about him; I had fallen in love with him. When he wanted to fuck again the next night, I told him I would rather suck his cock, and then maybe the next night I would let him fuck me again. I was sure I could win him over to my side, the oral side, if I had the time. But he refused. He wanted to fuck. So I let him fuck me, night after night, till I was sucking off the elevator boy in my building just to keep from going crazy! Soon I couldn't take it any more and we spent a night of nothing but oral sex, and it was wonderful.
The next night, however, it was back to regular vaginal intercourse. I put up with it for another week, with oral foreplay but never an oral orgasm, until I realized I was so in love with him I had to either tell him the truth or spend the rest of my life being miserable with him. I knew he was going to ask me to marry him.
I blew it, if you don't mind the expression. I told him I needed oral gratification, I explained it was a need stemming from childhood, that it was something that was completely natural to me, something my mother had taught me. He couldn't understand, and although he had compassion and said he still loved me, he was afraid such a marriage would never last and that I would not be a proper mother with suck a deviation.
It isn't a deviation, is it? Am I a freak? How can I be so beautiful, so popular a model and person, and yet be so sick? I'm not sick! I'm not! But I'm afraid that I'm one of a kind, that there is no one like me in the world, and I will never find a person to love me in the way I need to be loved…
But I go on. I visited my parents – still in Chinatown – recently, and I told my mother of my problems, and she did not know what to tell me. It seems no one can offer advice or guidance, I don't want to change, I don't want to stop sucking cock because I honestly love it, but I do want to be accepted, to be loved.
Last night I met a man about my age, very good looking, very well-built. He told me he loved Oriental girls and knew that they were the "best cocksuckers in the world"! I was excited, pleased, knowing he wanted what I was best in giving. His cock was magnificent and I sucked on it half the night. He came three times and ate my pussy out so well that I even came! But today, when I talked to him on the phone, he told me he was dying to throw a good fuck into me. I told him I didn't want that, I told him oralism was my bag. He politely excused himself from our date this evening, and then told me that Oriental girls are supposed to fuck too.
I know we're supposed to fuck too and so I want to know why can't I? I can do it if I force myself, but it is a painful process, one that is not worth lying about. Mai-Lin, beautiful and successful Oriental model, expert at fellatio, rich and pleasant – but very unhappy.
Fixated upon the oral stage of development, Mai-Lin never developed the feelings of disgust which serve to moderate oral eroticism. As we observed in the case of Tony, Mai-Lin is also entirely concerned in her sexual activity, with an act that should have been superseded in importance by coitus and the propagation of the species. This is the highest development of the individual's sexual instincts.
Mai-Lin is therefore perverse because she has never developed the resistances from which a healthy sex life evolves. It is quite likely that Mai-Lin will never attain full sexual maturity.
CHAPTER FOUR: Maria
Up and down, up and down, faster now. He loves it – I can tell that from the way his magnificent cock stays large, and from the mounting tension I sense. I pretend that, instead of being here on a sterile white hospital bed, we're sprawled voluptuously on gold satin sheets. Suck, suck, suck, furiously now, then ease it a bit, make it last, make it good for him…
What mounds of rippling muscles he has, thick patches of hair where hair should be, everything a girl could ask for. And this cock knows how to appreciate the delicate art of fellatio; it's an experienced cock all right. I wonder how it would feel inside me, and wonder if I'd dare, here in the hospital, me a nurse!
Most of all I wonder what he looks like under those bandages covering his face, and he's probably wondering about me. It's more exciting somehow, not seeing each other, not knowing each other, communicating with taps on the table, two taps for fresh water, please, three taps for suck me off, nurse. And I'm not doing this out of duty or pity. I'm doing it because I adore sucking cock, losing myself, in the ever changing rhythms of my head, the constant swishing of my tongue against the warm hardness. Up and down and around and around I go. I love it!
The door's locked. The "do not disturb" sign hangs on the knob. We have all the time in the world and I'll even give up my break, yes, gladly, if he wants to prolong it.
Suck, release, suck… my vacuum-cleaner mouth takes it in deeper and deeper. Not all seven inches, that I can't quite manage, but lots of it, while my left hand takes care of the rest and my right hand fondles his balls ever so gently. My pauses are less frequent now. He's ready for the steady, continuous final phase. No more teasing, just straight suck. Build up speed ever so gradually. Nothing harsh, no quick changes, just more and more of the same, titillating the shaft more all the time. No swallowing, let the saliva slurp, slurp. His cock is dripping with it and so are my hands. By now it probably feels like pussy juice to him. Ah, I wonder what his fantasies are…