And it did, it did. Till this very day, although it's not a great problem now. I'm twenty-two and I've never fucked a chick in my life. I've never even tried; I have no desire ever to do so. The idea repulses me, it sickens me, and I lose an erection if the thought crosses my mind or if a girl mentions it. Many times I've fucked up the evening because I wouldn't fuck. It's very simple… and yet so complicated, somehow.
You see, after that day when I saw my parents going at it on the living room floor, I had a perverse desire to watch it again – maybe I wanted to hate them and this was giving me a reason, I don't know – and I did. I snuck around and pretended to be asleep nights, peeked in their window, told lies, hid, crept, anything to watch them fuck. And that's all they did, no foreplay – oh, Dad stuck his fingers up her twat a few times and sucked her big nipples, but nothing more than that – just straight fucking, in various positions. More often than not, Dad was on the bottom and I hated my mother for that because I felt she was ruling him, when he should have been the strong one on top!
Anyhow, I watched each time – and began to realize that, after I had witnessed the scene, I would be sexually excited! I would go to my room or to the bathroom, lock the door, and masturbate. No, none of the Portnoy stuff with the liver or my sister's underpants. I had three favorite pictures – bought them from a kid at school for ten bucks – and I looked at them each time I beat off. One was of a beautiful blond girl sucking on a big Negro dick! All it showed was this guy's big fat cock and his hands on his hips, and a beautiful movie star type sucking on it. I don't know why, but it really turned me on.
The second picture was one of a man and woman, both very good-looking, in a sixty-nine position. And the third was of two couples – a girl was sucking on a guy's cock, while the other girl was sucking his asshole – and beneath the girl working on the asshole was the other guy, his face stuffed into her pussy. They were exciting – oral, different sex than the stuff I always saw with my parents – and for me those pictures, those acts, were normal and beautiful. Fucking was dirty, ugly. Oral sex was clean and right. And I still feel that way.
I had a rough time for a few years. All the guys I knew inevitably told me two things: how great it was to fuck a girl and what a big cock I had. The first I wasn't so sure about, the second I was positive. I had a huge cock then, and I have one now. I don't know why, I guess it just grew that way – God knows, Dad's isn't that big. I love my cock and I'm proud of it and I love having it sucked. But putting it in a cunt, hell no.
It finally got to a point in high school where I had to pretend I had a girl friend – I did, but she was an uptight Catholic virgin, and wow, you should have heard my mother about that one! I was only fifteen and she was worried I was balling this Catholic chick and we were going to make a baby and have to raise it Catholic! I did pretend I was fucking her, especially to the boys in the locker room at school. They were very proud of me, and always envious of my dick.
Finally, one day, the pleasure of the pictures began to wear off and I was wanting the real thing. Where do I find a girl who'll suck me off, but not make me fuck her? Hollywood? Maybe the Ranch Market? There were always some sleazy types around there. The beach? I didn't know what the hell to do. And then, like a great matzo from the sky, she descended upon me…
Her name was Madeline, and she was a cousin to a cousin to a cousin – you know that crap – of the woman next door, a woman who was a lot like Mother. So I was out by the pool one sunny afternoon and I saw this nice looking girl looking at me through the palm leaves. She smiled, and I smiled back and moved my knees up – afraid to show her the fact that I had an erection. I was lying there on the chaise lounge thinking of getting sucked off under water – I had some wild fantasies!
"Hi, you must be Carey!" she called.
"Yeah, who are you?" I asked…
"Madeline."
I won't bore you with the conversation that took place immediately after that, and how I got her to come over and have some lemonade with me and how we started talking about sex and – this sounds like The Graduate, doesn't it? Anyhow, we decided to swim because I was so sexually excited I knew I needed the water to cool me before I ripped open my trunks. And I think she was getting all warm between the legs already then too.
In the water, I asked her where she worked, since she said she worked in an office – she was just out of high school. Her reply, well, I wasn't ready for it. "I work at J amp;M Blowers!" she called from the other end of the pool. Then she laughed.
I laughed too and my cock charged up. J amp;M Blowers! I wondered if she were making it up. I didn't care, she had said it and the ice was broken. That damn pool was steaming now and I swam to her and stood there, in the shallow end, water to our waists, next to her.
"That's a funny name," I said with a grin.
"Depends on how you look at it," she added, and swam off again.
I watched her as she dove under the water near the diving board… and came up without her bikini top. Her breasts floated in the blue water, and I saw the darkness of her nipples bobbing at the surface. Then she pulled the bottom off, too, under the water and tossed it up onto the cement. She swam, moving and twisting and splashing – I caught glimpses of her cunt, the dark hairs there, her smooth ass. I was ready to come! A naked girl was right there, swimming in my pool! After all the figuring I had done on where to get a girl, after deciding I was going to go out and pay a whore, after shaking with fear and trembling with apprehensiveness, it was all happening too fast and easy for comfort.
I took off my trunks and swam past her, and then sat on the edge of the pool with my feet in the water. I spread my legs and let my balls drop down to the hot cement. My cock was like a rock and stood straight up against my belly. She stared with her mouth open – it was a lot bigger than she had ever expected.
And then all hell broke loose. She almost cracked her head into the side of the pool, she swam so fast up to the spot between my legs! Her lips were fitted over my balls in a second, and I looked down to the sparkling water and honestly couldn't believe it. I grabbed my cock and started beating it, like usual, but had to stop – I was ready to shoot! I had to hold myself back.
She sucked more on my balls, and then finally grabbed my cock with her hands and fitted her lips over it. She kicked her feet in the water and plunged her face down as far as she could go on the shaft. Then her tongue swept over the tip, and she moved her face back and forth… and I shivered and flooded her mouth with the biggest load of sperm I've ever shot! She choked on it and it poured out of her mouth and dripped over my balls. She loved it, and licked and licked, till she got every drop into her lips.
We traded places. I spread her legs with my hands and watched as her fingers eased the lips of her pussy apart and exposed the moist pink softness of the inner lips to me. I kissed them, then licked them with my tongue, and finally pushed my face against her entire crotch, tasting the juice and the chlorine mixed together, loving it. My cock was hard again and I put my hand on it under the water as I learned how to suck a pussy.
I found her clit, without knowing that was what I found, and she went into absolute contortions. She fell back against the cement and spread her legs even further. Then she shouted for me never to stop, and my mouth seemed at once wetter and sweeter. She came easily, again without me really understanding what was happening.
We rested and floated around the pool a bit, but we were both still very excited. Suddenly, Madeline told me she had to pee. I looked at her quite funny, I guess, because she knew where the bathroom was it was marked clearly, next to the ladies' dressing room – and I felt a bit embarrassed.