Even though Frieda does not seem to look upon this experience as a particularly horrifying one, it was after all her first sexual experience. And, if this was the first time she became aware of the anatomical distinctions between the sexes, this would have definitely precipitated a trauma.
During the clitoral level of development, i.e. at about the age of four, the little girl experiences a "genital trauma" which exhibits two characteristics. Firstly, and most importantly, she realizes that, unlike the little boy, she is equipped with genitals which do not give her an adequate outlet for pent-up sexual aggressions. Thus, she turns her aggressions inward, in contradistinction to the little boy, who turns his toward the external world. In this "turn inward", she awaits vaginal penetration before she can attain the genital stage of sexuality. In the meantime, she regresses, usually to the anal level.
In the case of Frieda, because of the fixation provoked by the trauma she remained at the oral level. But this, is by no means the only etiological factor.
As another consequence of the "genital trauma", the little girl, when noticing the male genital, envies him his possession. Possibly, this envy is replaced first by a wish for the father's penis, then by symbolical displacement into having a child, Helene Deutsch said that there is not a woman within whom some traces of "penis envy" cannot be found. In other words, penis envy is normal.
But with Frieda, the normal acts of repression were not accomplished. Rather she both denied the "genital trauma" and its effect, the castration complex. And paradoxically, she sought this object in the external world, as a cannibal seeks his food.
As an illustration of the denial, we may call attention to her contention that she herself ejaculated hypothetical pseudo-sperm in "great quantity". Certainly, this is a physiological impossibility. However, her wishes dominate her reality.
The oral zone is the first to become associated with pleasure, and the child receives this pleasure from his mother's breast. Initially, the child considers the mother's breast to be part of his body, and not a part of his mother. Only later does he recognize the breast as an object and, at this time, he desires not to be separated from it but to have it always. Thus, he goes through an aggressive oral, or cannibal, stage. It is during this stage that the child develops teeth and the mother is forced to wean him.
Frieda even remarks herself that she finds a symbolical unity between the breast and the penis, and she substitutes the latter for the former in her fantasies. Her violent attitude towards all men except Honky after she is orally separated from their organ, is a manifestation of this breast-penis identification. Honky is the exception because she has identified with his penis. Honky's penis becomes her possession she even calls it her "baby", the one all the other women desire. Thus Frieda seeks a breast from which she was never able to wean herself, and simultaneously denies the absence of the phallic as her anatomical part.
Karl Abraham tells us, in his book The First Pre-genital Stage of the Libido: from abreaction… persons who cling to infantile pleasure sucking are invariably seriously hampered in the development of their sexuality. Their instincts of nutrition and of sexuality remain to a certain extent intermingled. Their libido does not find the way to a living, human object in a normal manner, but seeks its gratification in the first instance in sucking up a material into the mouth.
The connection with Frieda is obvious. Her mouth is her genital area; she has never progressed to full feminine genitality. For her, love, in the true sense of the term, does not exist, coitus is impossible, she gives no pleasure and cares for no object. She only wants gratification from the substitute breast. To Frieda men are only a means to this end.
We also notice that Frieda is also an overt exhibitionist and finds pleasure in anal erotic practices. These are like adjuncts to her almost wholly perverted sexual nature.
Last night I was so motherfucking horny I thought I was gonna go outta my mind! I called my girlfriend and she was goin' out with some assfucker, so I decided I'd go out and get me a little action. I was thinking about Honky being locked up in that there jail cell and lying there on his little bed, beating that beautiful nigger meat in the air, and I wished I could be there, just to put my mouth on it and help him out, know what I mean?
I may as well tell you, cause you're cool, I know. Honky, he got busted and sent up for a long time I think. His trial is put off – you know how fucked up this here country is – and he's waiting on it, man. He had all this shit on him when his pigs pulled him over. Hell, they was getting him for driving without a Goddamn tail light, and they take one good look at his eyes and they knew he was on something, man. So they look in the trunk of his car and they find all those pills and all that grass and they kicked the shit outta him, right there on the side of the road. Fuckin' pigs!
So, they take my Honky away, and I'm a lonely girl, I can tell you. I used to get my kicks from his cock, you know? Now there's no more cock, and when I think about it I get all pussy wet and hungry for it. I started taking some uppers and got into some heavy shit, but I'm not really into it. I shoot up a little bit in the afternoon, sometimes, but never more than that. It's just taking the place of my baby-man and I know that, so there's nothing little Frieda has to worry about. But I'm so lonely…
And all the time I'm meeting these strung-out cats, and I want a guy with a good hard dick cause I want to suck, baby, and it's no good sucking on a junkie's dick cause it won't get stiff. So lately I've been finding my boys in the straight neighborhood, and it's been going pretty smoothly.
Take last night. I was so horny I knew I had to get outta the house and find myself a man. I went down the street but all the usual freaks were there. This one real jive cat – he's an asshole, you know he says to me, "Hey, Frieda baby, you going shoppin'?"
I looked at him and stopped walking, giving him this very Flip Wilson pose with my hands on my ass. Then I looked at him and says, "Honey, what you mean is I going shoppin'? I'm going to the meat market, and I know just what I want."
He gives me this big dopey smile and his hand down on his crotch and says, "Honey, I got some meat you'll love to eat. You missing your man must have you all nice and gooey by now."
I just bat my lashes and smile. "Honey, I'm gonna go set me some white meat to nibble on. You black better get your asses back down to and let some nice Southern belles your cocks along with their mint juleps."
"See this," he says to me, pulling his dick outta his pants. "No white boy's got anything like this."
"And no black boy has anything like my Honky," I said and walked off down the street. Hell, it wasn't easy. The sight of his nice long cock was enough to give me shivers, but I didn't like that boy, never have liked him, and I was really looking for a white guy. I don't know why, but since those white pigs got my baby-man, I been lusting for white cock.
I found this kid standing near the subway, and I could tell right away he was cruising me. He looked like he was about my age – middle twenties – but very straight. He was wearing jeans and a jacket to match and I could see a nice bulge in the front of his pants. I walked by him and pretended to see something on the ground. I bent over, with my ass facing him, and pretended to pick it up. That way he could see I wasn't wearing any underpants.
When I stood up, I could see his face was red and his eyes were flaming. His cock was getting longer and longer in his pants, and I stood there watching it, staring at it. Then I pulled a cigarette from my purse and put it to my lips. I looked at him.