One infamous example was the story of a 17th century nun named Benedetta Carlini. Benedetta claimed that a heavenly, angelic entity would periodically take over her body and use it as a vehicle for lesbian sex with another nun, Sister Bartolemea. The sisters were certain it was an angel of heaven that instigated the encounters because the two would be consumed by an “indescribably euphoria” during their sex act. Strangers to the Big O, Benedetta and Bartolemea credited their pleasure not to each other, but to God who apparently wanted them to experience this special kind of immoral carnal lust. Benedetta argued her point, so much so that she angered the church higher-ups with her cockiness. That arrogant and outspoken attitude, not the lesbianism, caused her to be stripped of her title of abbess and placed under convent-arrest until her death in 1661.
Lesbianism freaked out medieval men because it fed their fears that women could somehow, someway become equal to men. Egad! Obviously, men on top want to stay on top and squelch the secret fear that they will one day find themselves the oppressed, not the oppressor. It was this fear of a power-hungry, masculine gal that impacted the next two points we have to make — dick mimicking and females masquerading as men.
Medieval men, and perhaps women, had a narrower definition of sex than we do today. Sex, to them, involved penetration. Girl-on-girl action sans penetration was less sinful, on the sin spectrum. Penitentials, books that outlined various vices and the punishment that should accompany them, noted the distinction. For a medieval female who rolls in the hay with a gal pal, according to the Penitential of Theodore, the sentence was a three-year penance. But the Penitential of Bede added that, if a woman employs an instrument to sexually penetrate another woman, the punishment increased to a seven year penance. Men, even men of the cloth, abhorred the idea of a substitute dick.
Consider the case of Katherina Hetzeldorfer of Nuremberg, Germany, who was executed in 1477. Although the court records are silent on her exact offense, we do have a glimpse of her life and arrest. Katherina relocated from her hometown to another German city with a woman she claimed to be her sister. After a few years, Katherina let it slip to a townsperson that the true nature of their relationship was “that of a husband and wife”. Hetzeldorfer, as the “husband” in the relationship, was arrested and, after admitting to sexually penetrating her lover, detailed how she used an instrument (a proto-dildo or early strap-on). Her sex toy was fashioned out of red leather, stuffed with cotton with a stick thrust up it. Katherina would tie her creation around her waist during her sexual encounters.
While the girl-on-girl sex is what initially got Katherina in trouble with the courts, it was the admission of the penetrating sex toy that may have earned her the death penalty. She was drowned in the river for her innovative penis-replacing tool. It was her audacity to usurp the penis that most angered the all-male, all-penis-bearing officials.
It wasn’t just impersonating a penis that royally pissed off the menfolk of the Middle Ages. Impersonating a man could get a woman in trouble, too. Cross-dressing girls posed a big threat to men… it was just another way in which women could climb the ranks to stand as a man’s equal. Especially if the costume was so deceiving that the rank-climbing went undetected and the woman actually achieved a position of power. Such was the case with Pope Joan.
Scholars debate the validity of the Pope Joan story. Perhaps she really existed. Or perhaps she was a cautionary tale warning about uppity women. Or perhaps it was an anti-papal, anti-Catholic statement. Either way, the legend of history’s only female pope demonstrated the fear medieval men had of women and the vagina.
Accounts vary, but most claim Pope Joan reigned between the 9th and 11th centuries, maybe between Leo IV and Benedict III. According to legend, Joan was an intelligent, educated woman who, at the insistence of her lover, dressed as a man to continue her studies. She dazzled the church muckety-mucks with her vast knowledge and intellect, thus she rose quickly through the pecking order until ultimately elected Pope.
Apparently that lover of hers was still in the picture because (oops!) Joan got pregnant. Weirdly (and seemingly without painful contractions serving as a warning of the impending birth) Pope Joan gave birth while mounting a horse, thus exposing her gender for all to see. Ultimate blasphemy! The crowd who witnessed the birth was so outraged that, according to most accounts, they tied Joan to her own horse and dragged her to her death through town. Talk about a rough day! Pope Joan’s name was erased from the papal files and you won’t find her on the official list of popes. Sadly, the vagina was Pope Joan’s undoing. But she left an odd and lasting legacy.
A common version of the Pope Joan story states that all subsequent popes have to be ritualistically examined to verify their manhood. The pope-elects must sit on a dung chair, a toilet of sorts with a hole in the seat, where a lucky cardinal reaches up to grope the pontiff’s testicles. Upon fondling the papal stones, the cardinal exclaims, “Duos habet et bene pendent”, or “He has two and they dangle nicely”. Although Pope Joan clearly ignored the vow of celibacy that all Catholic priests must take, her act ensures that every new pope gets a little hand action.
One of the Middle Ages’ most famous female heroines also displayed non-normative sexual behavior. Was Joan of Arc a sinner or a saintly visionary? She did exhibit lesbian-like tendencies when she donned men’s clothing and took up the sword. Her claim, of course, was that God instructed her to act in a manly way which, if we recall, was the same excuse used by Sister Benedetta Carlini.
Either God was purposely blurring gender roles and stereotypes for his own amusement, or pulling the “vision from heaven” card was a clever ploy on the part of guilty girls. For Joan of Arc, however, the outcome was disastrous. Sure, she changed the tide of the Hundred Year War and was instrumental in the crowning of Charles VII of France, but she was captured and placed on trial by the English for heresy and heterodoxy, a fancy word meaning her actions and beliefs ran counter to the established societal and religious conventions. Cross-dressing and fighting like a man certainly fit the bill. She may not have been an active lesbian, but her gender bending ways troubled the men in power and she found herself lashed to the stake, smelling smoke.
The tales of medieval lesbians, however scarce, offer us an intriguing look at how people of the Middle Ages grappled with sexual identity and gender stereotypes. Women who deviated from the societal norms represented a threat to medieval men who already held a cautious fear and deep-rooted distrust for women in general. Legends of women, such as Pope Joan and Katherina Hetzeldorfer, Joan of Arc and the Wife of Bath, fueled this fear and increased concern that medieval women, if not kept under a pressing thumb, could become man-like in their thinking, appearance, and ambition until they, one day, stand shoulder to shoulder as equals to men. How terrifying this must have been, for the medieval man.
To Touch or Not to Touch: The Paradox of Medieval Masturbation
“…she knew no virtues or goodness; she desired all wickedness.”
Self-pleasuring was considered a terrible affliction in the medieval era, but here again, we see the weird paradox that permeates through our study of the vagina. The church frowned upon masturbation, which it viewed as sinful as fornication. And medieval medical tomes stated that jacking off was a quick path to overall weakness and depletion of the entire nervous system, a condition for which there was no cure. But here’s the thing… all this gloom and doom was primarily directed at men who yanked. Authorities were more concerned about those going solo with a penis and spilling seeds that would be better placed in a womb, than a lady tickling her own fancy. Although Christian beliefs forbade both genders from self-pleasuring, the prevailing medical belief during the Middle Ages, in an about-face from scriptural teachings, advocated female masturbation as a cure for hysteria.