“Go to England?” I cried.
“It would not be for some time. I am just telling you that your father has sent our ambassador with a suggestion that this might be. They are a great nation, but at war. We are a small one in semi-captivity. These matters depend on negotiations. Your father is in a position to bestow a good dowry on you and the King of England will need money to conduct his war.”
“So because of the money…”
“No, because you are the daughter of a king and young Charles is the son of one. We must accept these things as they are. It is the rulers who decide them. To marry a man who will one day be a king is a great destiny and one must be prepared for it.”
“I should like to know something about this prince.”
“He is fourteen years old — a charming boy, so I have heard.”
“That seems very old,” I ventured.
“You think so because you are younger. As you grow up, these seven years will seem nothing. It is better for a husband to be older than his wife. Charles is clever and charming, a loyal son and he will be a good husband.” My mother drew me to her. “You must not be anxious,” she went on. “It will not be for a long time, but I tell you now so that you will be prepared when the time comes. So far this is only a suggestion. With Oliver Cromwell at his heels, the King may have many matters with which to concern himself as well as the marriage of his son.”
It proved to be that he had, for there was no enthusiastic response brought back by my father’s ambassador. I learned from little scraps of gossip that my religion was a handicap. The King of England had had enough trouble through marrying a Catholic wife. He did not want his son to fall into the same trap.
That startled me. Our religion was of the utmost importance to us and I had always believed that anyone not of the Catholic faith was doomed.
I asked my mother about the King of England’s objection to our religion.
“Where do you hear such things?” she demanded.
I did not way to betray anyone, so I said vaguely: “Oh, it must have been something I heard someone say…”
“Who has been talking?”
“Oh…several…Not talking to me but to each other. I cannot remember who…but there was a good deal of talk about the proposed marriage.”
She was thoughtful for a moment, then she said: “The people of England have rejected the true faith. It happened a long time ago after Queen Mary died and Queen Elizabeth came to the throne. And after Elizabeth there came the Stuarts.”
“But if they are not of the true faith…”
“First,” she said, cutting me short, “we have to think of an alliance which would bring honour to you and to our country.”
“But…”
“My dear child, you are too young to concern yourself with such matters which can safely be left to your father and to me.”
“But if Prince Charles is a Protestant…a heretic…”
“The Prince of Wales must be brought up in the religion of the country he will one day rule.”
“Then how…?”
She smiled secretively and whispered: “Who knows? If he had the right wife…”
“But the King himself married a Catholic…and…”
Again I was interrupted. “How knowledgeable you have become! That pleases me. You must learn what is going on. King Charles of England married the daughter of the great King Henri of Navarre who became the fourth Henri of France. It was a match of great benefit to both France and England. King Henri was a Huguenot at one time and he became a Catholic. Sometimes these matters are necessary. Who knows what might happen?”
“Prince Charles’s mother did not make his father a Catholic.”
“Perhaps she was not clever enough. If the Prince married a good Catholic wife, who knows what influence she might have on him…”
“You mean, I might lead him to the Truth?”
“Hush, my child. You must not say such things. You must learn to keep such matters to yourself. What people in our position say is often repeated. We must be careful at all times…even little girls. It is different with humbler folk. We do not know what the future holds, but I believe that one day you are going to be Queen of England, and when you are, you will do your duty to God and your country.”
“Oh yes,” I said fervently, “I will.”
I had a mission now. Not only was I going to marry Prince Charles, but I was going to save his soul.
I set about discovering all I could about him. It was not much. I did hear that he was taller than most boys of his age; he was dark and somewhat swarthy, not handsome, but of great charm. He bore a strong resemblance to his maternal grandfather, the great Henri, who had been known in France as the Evergreen Gallant because he had loved so many women.
I was constantly thinking of Charles.
Even when the overtures of our ambassador came to nothing, and there was no more talk of a possible marriage, he remained in my mind.
MY MOTHER WAS DETERMINED that I should have the best education possible, and that it should be presided over by herself; and I was sent to the convent of her choosing.
The Mother Superior of the chosen one received me very graciously and I was soon absorbed in the rules of the establishment.
It was a change from life in royal palaces. Lessons and prayers took up the greater part of my time. My actions were regulated by the bells which summoned us to our duties throughout the day. I joined the nuns in meals and religious duties and longed to be like them; it was a quiet and peaceful life if one obeyed the rules, and as I was of a docile nature I fitted in with comparative ease.
I learned a great deal about the saints, their endurance, their unshakeable faith and the sacrifices they made for their religion. I prayed with especial fervor for those who sinned against the Church, for I was thinking of Charles who, for no fault of his own, was in danger of losing his soul; and even greater than my desire to be a saint was my longing to save him.
I grew to love the hushed and holy atmosphere of the convent. I never strayed from its walls, but took exercise in the gardens which were tended by the nuns and in which was produced most of the food on which we lived.
It was a life of peace lived in the service of God. There was little excitement but I realized it had compensations for those who shared it. The nuns seemed content and at peace with the world. They believed that they were doing their duty on Earth and that they would in due course go to glory in Heaven.
I was different. I had a duty to perform. I had to marry for the good of my country and save Charles from eternal damnation. I had to think beyond the convent. But in the meantime I could enjoy the serene life.
I had a new brother. My parents were delighted and there had been great celebrations when Pedro was born. Alfonso was then five years old.
During my years at the convent I paid periodical visits to the royal palaces when my mother would question me closely about convent life. She was satisfied with my progress and the strong religious feelings which were being inspired in me.
I discovered that my elder brother Alfonso gave some cause for anxiety. He was a wayward child, given to tantrums, and he was not very pleased with the arrival of a brother.
It was during my visits to the palace that I was able to learn something of what was going on in the world. I was very eager to hear what was happening in England, and grieved to discover that the situation had not improved there. This news, because of our friendship with England, caused disquiet throughout Portugal.
Donna Maria and Donna Elvira knew of my interest in England, although they believed that those plans for my marriage to the Prince of Wales had long been set aside. It was just another of those suggested marriages between royal houses which came to nothing. It was happening all the time.