Then I began to question the wisdom of staying here. Perhaps I should have left when I had first planned to do so. I knew that William was a Protestant, a Calvinist, and I believed somewhat puritanical, though there had been rumors that he had not been entirely faithful to his wife. Not in the blatant manner of Charles, of course, but secretly, which suggested that he liked to keep his vices hidden. Elizabeth Villiers, who had gone to Holland with Mary at the time of her marriage, had been his mistress for years, according to rumor, while outwardly he maintained a strict moral attitude. I wondered whether Charles’s way was more acceptable.
Perhaps I was prepared to judge William harshly. For some time he had had his eyes on the English crown. He had a claim, of course. His wife, Mary, had been in line for the succession before the birth of the new baby; William himself was the son of another Mary, daughter of the first King Charles. At the birth of James’s son, William must have heartily approved of the story of the baby in the warming-pan. In any case, it was clear that he had long decided that the throne of England should be his.
I had been fond of James…as Charles had, but how much wiser Charles had been! He had always known that he must never admit the religion he would have preferred to follow…at least not until he was on his deathbed. He had made that agreement with Louis that he would change his religion when the time was ripe, knowing that it never would be. If only James had had his brother’s foresight. People would say that James deserved his fate, but being fond of him, I could not bear to see him brought so low, deserted by his own daughters. And I must dislike those who had brought him to this state.
It was December. James had fled from the capital and I heard that Lord Feversham had been captured by William’s men. I was horrified by the circumstances in which this had taken place, for he had come to William with a message from James, and they had made him a prisoner.
It was evening when one of my ladies came to me in dismay.
“Your Majesty, King William is here. He has come to see you.”
I was astonished. “He…he must not be kept waiting,” I stammered. “Bring him in at once.”
There he was. He had changed little from the young man who had come to marry Mary. That must have been ten years ago. He was a small man with little grace, yet I sensed in him great strength.
He bowed rather stiffly. I inclined my head, trying to assume a coolness I did not feel. I was not going to accept him as King yet. If he succeeded in taking the crown, I should have to leave.
He was somewhat tight-lipped and pale; there was a certain fragility in his body which belied the determination of the firm jaw and the piercing alertness of the eyes.
Charles’s nephew! I thought. There is no resemblance between them whatsoever.
“Your Majesty,” he said, “I have no doubt that you are disturbed by events, and I have come to tell you that my wife and I feel nothing but kindness for you.”
“That is gracious of you,” I said, with perhaps a touch of asperity.
He feigned not to notice my tone and went on: “I trust you are comfortable here.”
“Thank you. I am.”
He waved his hand. “I have heard that you like to listen to music and play the cards.”
“I do.”
“I myself like a game. ’Tis a pleasant pastime, is it not? I see no tables here.”
I replied: “My Chamberlain, Lord Feversham, looks after the tables. Since he departed I have not had the heart for cards.”
“That must not be. I would not care to think that you are missing so much of what you enjoy. Your Majesty’s diversions must continue.”
I stared at him in astonishment, and his face twisted into a smile almost reluctantly, as though it were a position in which it rarely found itself.
“Thank you,” I said.
He bowed and took his leave. I could not understand why he had come to see me. He was a man who would always have motives. In this case it was the matter of Lord Feversham. It must have been others who had detained him, and it was not ethical to arrest an emissary. William was precise, very much aware of the orderly conduct of diplomacy and he would not tolerate any departure from the rules.
It must have been the reason for his visit, for he was incapable of sentimental feelings. Lord Feversham should never have been detained; therefore he was released, the excuse being that I needed him to organize my card games.
It was a pleasure to see Lord Feversham again. I learned from him something of what was happening throughout the country, and it was far from reassuring.
THOSE WERE UNEASY DAYS. I was never sure what was going to happen next. It seemed certain that James would leave the country. It would be the best thing he could do, but it was hardly likely that he would not make some effort to return.
Louis would receive him as he had received Mary Beatrice and the Prince of Wales. Once over there, perhaps James would gather a force together and come back to challenge William. I hoped he would not do so, for I was sure such an action could only result in disaster for him. I knew nothing of warfare but instinct told me that in a conflict between them, William must be the victor. Moreover, for years the people had been indicating that they would not accept a Catholic king. Throughout the country they were welcoming William and Mary.
I came to the conclusion that I must delay my departure no longer when a Bill was introduced into the Commons to limit my household, and many of my servants were sent away because they were Catholics. I was angry, but I had to obey. It was distressing to part with so many of my old friends.
James landed in Ireland where he had some support.
I feared for him. I feared for myself, because two or three days before William was due to leave for Ireland, there to do battle with James, I had a visit from Lord Nottingham, Queen Mary’s Chamberlain.
He came to Somerset House and asked for an interview…perhaps not so much asked as demanded.
He did not treat me with the respect to which I had become accustomed, and when I asked him what his business was he said I was to move from Somerset House to Windsor or Audley End, as it was understood that at Somerset House there were meetings where certain Catholics were “caballing” in a manner opposed to the King’s government.
I pointed out to him that Somerset House was my residence. It had been given to me as part of my marriage settlement and, although I had not received all that was due to me, at least I intended to keep this.
“It is His Majesty’s wish that you leave here,” said Nottingham.
I refused to be intimidated. I knew that I was unpopular in the country and people did not care what happened to me. I was of no use to William and Mary. I was, in fact, an encumbrance. I supposed that since it was William’s policy to remove all privileges from Catholics, I, being one of them, must expect such treatment.
But I would not give in easily.
I said: “Will you please return to King William and tell him that I desire to leave his dominions. If he would provide ships for the voyage, I should be ready to leave without delay. If he does not do this, I intend to stay in this house, which is undoubtedly mine by treaty.”
Nottingham was astounded, but not more so than I when I received William’s reply.
Here again he showed his respect for law. He knew that, by right, Somerset House belonged to me.
He was apologetic. There had been a mistake. If I wished to stay at my residence of Somerest House I must do so and not think of leaving.
It was a triumph — though a small one.
I had expected Mary to remember me with affection. We had, as I thought, been fond of each other in the past, but she was beginning to show a certain animosity toward me.