“It is too bad to be understood. It has come from my having more money. Let your thoughts shy away from it. It is what I do.”
“So you have done what Grandma wanted.”
“Yes, it was the least I could do for her. Her last wish is fulfilled. If only she could know!”
“It seems that she did. Well, the change may be for the best. But Lavinia is not prepared.”
“It is in your hands. And how fortunate that is! Suppose it was in your father’s!”
“I wonder you can ask me to do such a thing.”
“It is all I can do. I cannot force you to it. But I know you will not fail me. And I shall not get off unscathed. Your father will not hide his happiness. He will not even try to. That will be my punishment, and a very real one I shall find it. I feel as if I were reading aloud.”
“I wish you were. This business is not imaginary.”
“Egbert, through it all I am glad for you. But I hope it will not draw you closer to your father. I shall have been punished enough.”
“He and I will be of one mind. I do not deny it.”
“I hope the old days will not return for him. My punishment would be almost greater than I could bear.”
“I have no pity for you. You are thinking of yourself.”
“I wonder why that sounds so bad. It is the usual thing. I think it is the only thing. I have never met any other. It is what I am asking of you now. If you will not do it, things must remain as they are.”
“You mean you will marry Lavinia?”
“What can I do, if you will not think of yourself? That is too rare a thing for me to deal with. I have no understanding of it.”
“Well, it seems I must do what I can.”
“You will succeed. People do, when they are thinking of themselves. That is why everyone is so successful. I have heard of failures, but I cannot think of any. I see that thinking of other people might lead to them.”
“How have you seen yourself?”
“I do not look at myself. I have not dared. They say there are things worse than an honest failure. And I suppose I must be one of them.”
Egbert turned away in silence and went to seek his sister. There was more risk than use in delay. He found her in the library, and spoke as he knew he must.
“Lavinia, there is a word I must say again. I have said it many times. This will have to be the last.”
“It will. The time is short. Is there any need to say it?”
“Yes, I feel there is. What are you to have for what you give? For what you give up? Is Hugo even giving you all he has? And he has so much less than you.”
“What has he, that he is not giving?”
“There is one thing that is our own. Our aloofness and life within ourselves. His will hold him apart. And now his independence will support it. I feel you have not seen the truth.”
“I feel you have not. Truth is deeper than you know.”
Egbert was silent, and his sister suddenly sent her eyes over his face.
“So that is what it is! I felt something in him. That is what it was. There was something different. So nothing is what we think it is. This has not been what I thought.”
“You know it in time. No harm is done. It might have been too late.”
There was a pause.
“Yes, harm is done. I am wiser, and that comes from harm. We don’t hear it comes from happiness. ‘Sadder and wiser’ is what we say. In a real sense it is too late. Well, everything is at an end. The future is changed in a moment. You did not think it would be so easy. I should not have thought it would. But what did he say? Not the things you have said?”
“It is for you to say the word to him.”
“Yes, it is from me it must come. Anything else would harm us both, And I begin to feel it has always been there and unsaid. That is the thing that can hardly be helped. But we will not say so, as it has not been said. I think I shall be glad it has not. Yes, take the word to him from me. He has chosen to hear it from you. And there is no one else. Father would like to say it, but he would like it too much.”
“What would Father like too much?” said Ninian, as he passed through the room. “There is little he can like at all in these days.”
“Telling Hugo that he and I will not be married,” said Lavinia in a clear tone. “It is late to make the change, but it comes in time. You and Grandma and Egbert were wise. But I don’t want to hear any self-praise. I should take the current view of it.”
“My dear one, it is praise of you that we should hear,” said Ninian, coming forward. “You show yourself indeed. The self your father has seen in you. We are not to lose you. The shadow is lifted from the future. The true light is shed. How much you and I will do with our forces joined! I hope Hugo does not make it hard for you?”
“I am to tell him for her,” said Egbert. “There are reasons why that is best.”
“As she will. It is for her to say. And for you to help her, as you always have. And a thing that has to be done, is better done soon. It will be well to get it behind.”
Egbert smiled at his father’s tone and suppressed any impulse to delay. He returned to Hugo and waited until he spoke.
“Is this the eternal silence? That comes to us all in the end?”
“It is certainly a long one,” said Egbert.
“Pray do not speak to me in a distant tone. You know what I am steeling myself to face. I cannot believe I am asking the question. But what did Lavinia say?”
“What we knew she would. That she would break off everything and forget it. And be to you as she was before. She came to the decision at once.”
“Egbert, I hope you did not misrepresent me?”
“No, I am sure I did not.”
“Did she express any regret that she was not to spend her life with me?”
“No, she did not speak of it.”
“And you expressed none that I was not to be your brother?”
“No, I wanted no sympathy.”
“You are both your father’s children. I can only find it a shock. It is not what I have thought.”
“We were not as bad as he was,” said Egbert, smiling at last. “He came out as himself.”
“He surely hid his feelings?”
“No, he exhibited them. And they were of a definite kind. You do not need to ask what they were.”
“And he might have had the authority of a father! I wonder I ever faced it. It was for Lavinia’s sake. I would have done more than that for her.”
“Go and meet her in an easy spirit. That is what you can do for her now. Father is with her, in a panic lest the matter be delayed. Go and put him out of his suspense.”
“But this is almost too much for me. I am not a generous enemy. Enmity in me has nothing generous about it. But I suppose I am not an enemy, now I am not to be his son. I shall be his friend again, almost his brother. I have to be very adaptable. I hardly know what I am.”
They went to the library, and Hugo did not delay.
“Lavinia, you did your best. You tried to see me as worthy of you. I shall always remember your courage. I will not appeal to pity. That is a thing I have never been without. But there is something you can do for me. Do not allow your father to refer to me as your uncle. Things can carry their own sting.”
“Then Hugo to both of us,” said Ninian, in an almost genial tone. “Hugo to all of us here. Uncle only to the children.”
“So there will be a sign of what is past. One little proof that it existed. It will have to be my stay.”
“Well, now, you will be wanting a change,” said Ninian. “One change must lead to others. And now you can do as you will.”
“Why should I want one? Surely this one is enough. My place amongst you is what remains to me. Would you take from me what I have left?”
“So you are remaining in the family?”