“I remember it well,” I told her. I should never forget the sight of the Cardinal sailing by our privy steps with the King.
Kate had more news for us. She was to have a child.
Lord Remus was delighted. He had not believed this possible but his beautiful clever Kate was capable of anything. He followed her with his eyes, marveling at her grace and beauty. Kate reveled in it; she laughed and flirted gaily with her husband and it was only to me that she talked freely.
She wanted to go to her old room, she said; and I went with her there. When we reached it, she shut the door, and the first thing she said was: “Damask, have you seen him? Has he ever come back?”
I didn’t have to ask to whom she was referring. I said: “Of course he has not come back.”
“He went because I married. He told me he would go right away and he would not come back until he was ready. What did he mean by that, Damask?”
“You knew him so much better than I.”
“Yes, I did. I think, in his way, he loved me.” She eyed me maliciously. “You are jealous, Damask. You always wanted him, didn’t you? Don’t deny it. I understand. It was a way he had. He was different from all others. You could never be sure whether he was a saint or a devil.”
“I never thought that.”
“No, you thought he was a saint, didn’t you? You adored him too openly. You were no challenge to him as I was. He had to convince me. You were already won. So he loved me, but it wasn’t good enough for me.”
“You wanted riches. I know that full well.”
“And see how happy I have made my husband. A child. He never thought to get that…at his time of life. He’s so proud. My patience, how he struts! As for me, I’m a marvel, I’m as much a miracle to Remus as Bruno was to the monks of the Abbey. I rather enjoy being a miracle. That’s why I understand Bruno so well. I feel for him. I understand his bitter disappointment.”
“But you didn’t love him well enough to marry him.”
She smiled ruefully. “Imagine me, the wife of a poor man…if you can.”
I agreed that I could not.
“You can’t be happy,” I said.
“I can always be happy when I get what I want,” she retorted.
Keziah grew more and more strange. I spoke to my father about her.
“Poor woman,” he said, “she is paying for her sins.”
I was always touched by Father’s attitude for I had never met anyone who could be as good as he was and yet have such sympathy for sinners.
One day one of the servants came to tell me that Keziah was missing. She had not slept in her bed that night. I wondered whether she had found another lover but I thought that could hardly be the case for she was now within a month or so of her confinement. I was alarmed and some instinct sent me to the witch’s hut in the woods.
She was there.
Mother Salter bade me enter. I felt the shiver of apprehension I always felt in her house. It was a small cottage with one room in which was a short spiral staircase. This opened into the room above. It was overcrowded; there were cabalistic signs on the wall and bottles in which she kept her concoctions. There were jars of ointment on the shelves and from the beams there always hung bunches of drying herbs. The smell was peculiar; a mixture of herbs and something indefinable. A fire always seemed to be burning and a great sooty-sided caldron hung over it suspended on a chain. There were two seats on either side of the fireplace and whenever I had seen Mother Salter she was seated in one of them.
It took a great deal of courage to enter her house; the sickly did because they hoped to be cured; those who wanted a love potion came; as for myself I was so anxious about Keziah that I walked boldly in.
She pointed to one of the seats beside the fireplace and smiled at me. She was very old but her eyes were lively and young. They were small and dark, embedded in wrinkles, crafty and knowledgeable, rather like a monkey’s.
I said, “I’m worried about Keziah.”
She pointed upward.
My relief was obvious. “So she is here.”
She smiled at me and nodded. “Her time is near,” she said.
“So soon?”
“The babe is eager to get out into the world. She’ll come before her time.”
“It’s to be a girl?”
Mother Salter did not answer. She knew such things and had often prophesied correctly the sex of a child.
“And Keziah?”
Mother Salter shook her head. “Her time is running out,” she said.
“You can save her.”
“Not if her time has come.”
“It can’t be,” I cried. “You can do something.”
She gave me a grin which was not pleasant to behold. There was something malevolent about it and it showed her blackened teeth. Then she stood up and beckoned to me. She started up the short spiral staircase. I followed.
I stepped straight into a room with a small latticed window. It was darkish but I recognized the figure on the pallet.
“Keziah,” I said, and knelt beside it.
“It’s the little ’un,” she said. “It’s Dammy.”
“Yes, I’m here, Kezzie. You gave me a fright. I wondered what had happened to you.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to me again on this earth, little ’un.”
“That’s foolish talk,” I said sharply. “You’re going to be all right once…once this is over.”
“He were going to kill me,” she said. “This is his way of doing it. What a man he were! All that man going to the worms, where I shall soon be going.”
“What talk is this!” I cried indignantly.
Mother Salter cackled. She was standing there like a vulture watching us.
“Keziah,” I said, “come back to us. I’ll look after you. I’ll look after the baby….”
Keziah seized my hand; hers was hot and burning. “You’ll look after the child, Dammy? You’ll look after my little baby? You’ve promised me.”
“I promise you, Keziah, we will look after the child.”
“She’s to be brought up like a little lady. She must sit at the table where you used to sit with Mistress Kate and Master Rupert. That’s what I want to see. I want her to be full of booklore, like my boy. But he never looked my way. He wouldn’t have me for his mother. He wouldn’t believe it. But I want her to have book learning. I want her to be a lady. I call her my little Honey. I remember it well…there he was standing over me and it had never happened that way before and through the window I smelt the honeysuckle…and that’s when my baby was made. Honeysuckle, sweet and clinging. I call her my little Honey.”
Then I knew that Keziah was part of my life and that if she were no longer there I should have lost that part; and perhaps, next to my father, Keziah when I was very young had been nearest to me, for my mother had never really been close.
Now she lay there with the beads of sweat clinging to the faint hairs about her lips; and the rosy color of her cheeks replaced by a network of tiny reddish lines. Something had gone out of her, that gaiety, that love of living. She was no longer in love with life and that could only mean she was preparing to leave it.
I said urgently: “Keziah, you’re going to get well. You’ve got to. What shall I do without you?”
She said: “You’ll do very well. You don’t need me now…haven’t for a long time.”
I said, “The baby will need you. Your little Honey.”
She grasped my hand firmly; hers was hot and dry. “You will, Mistress Damask. You’ll take her. You’ll look after her as though she was your little sister. Promise me, Damask.”
I said: “I promise.”
Wrekin the cat had come up. He pressed his body against my foot and purred. Mother Salter nodded.