“Please give me a chance to be your much better,” he whispered into my hair, placing a small, powerful kiss on my neck. A prickling sensation spread across my skin and down my back. I pulled back, gazing up into his magical eyes; his features were soft. I wished I could read his mind and know what was going on in there. Why was he so interested in me? For someone who’d only just met me, I wouldn’t fall into that trap again and find out later he was the devil in a gorgeous man’s body. Jacob had burnt my trust and taught me that every man must wear a mask and was fake up until they showed their true colours.
“I don’t know if I can.” I bit my lip unsure of what more I could say.
He bowed his head, slightly breaking eye contact. It hurt me immensely watching my words crush another. “Look let’s go on our ‘just friends’ date and get to know one other better.”
I placed my hand on his cheek guiding his face up to look at mine. I saw the hurt I’d instilled there, but I could also see the hope he held. I nodded.
He sighs. “Okay, let’s go have our date and talk.” He flashes his contagious smile. I couldn’t help but grin back at him.
We stepped apart and he took my hand again. I looked around and noticed a few other couples. Fear rose within me as I really hoped that no one knew Jacob, or me for that matter, and would go running back to tell him. I tried really hard to push those feelings away to the back of my mind. I wanted to enjoy my night.
He led me to a part of the park where there weren’t many people. He had a picnic blanket spread out with a pizza box and a bottle of wine with two glasses. My lips curled up in the biggest real smile I’d had on my face in a long time.
“This is amazing,” I breathed. He squeezed my hand, and with that small gesture it was as if he was squeezing my hardened heart back to what it was. I didn’t think it’d ever be the same again because of the abuse Jacob had put me through.
Every time he came home from work and I wasn’t there with dinner prepared he got angry. I had no idea what his family was like because I’d never met them. He wouldn’t take me to meet them, but it was all right for him to have to meet my family, as he put it. If I didn’t give him intimacy when he wanted it, I was physically attacked. But as soon as he got the first hit in, I gave him what he wanted because I couldn’t bring myself to be continually beaten. During sex, he bit and sucked really hard on my already overly sensitive skin, leaving hickeys as well as bruises from his display of love as he liked to believe. I usually just laid there while he did what he needed to; he’d only ever gotten me to my peak once, then never again. I just didn’t understand his motives. Why did he treat me the way he did?
I really needed to stop thinking about this stuff while I was out with someone else. I didn’t want to ruin the night with my dark mood.
“I wanted tonight to be casual, have a chat so we could get to know each other,” he smiled down at me.
“I think it’s perfect.”
We walked over and took a seat on the blanket. The pizza smelled divine and it made my tummy rumble. Blake filled our glasses and I took a sip, the bubbles tickled all the senses in my mouth with its fresh and fruity taste. He handed me a plate with a slice of pepperoni pizza. I honestly couldn’t get over the size of the pizzas in America compared to the tiny Australian ones, it was crazy! Once we were set up with our food and drinks, it went silent for a little bit before Blake spoke.
“So tell me, why do you stay with him?”
I looked up at him in utter shock. “Wow, don’t hold back there!”
“Sorry, wrong first question, I guess.”
“You could say that. How about next question, and we’ll come back to that one?”
He nodded and moved on. “So what part of Australia are you from?”
“Brisbane in Queensland.”
“Why did you move here?”
“Dad managed a transfer with the Army, so here we are.” I took another bite, looking over at him. He looked thoughtful, a little undecided about his next question.
“Do you have any siblings?”
“Yeah, I have a sister. A twin actually.”
“Wow! That’s cool. Are you identical twins?”
“Nah, we’re fraternal. She has Mum’s features, and I have Dad's mostly, except we both have Mum’s eyes.”
He looked up at me, his eyes meeting mine. He reached his hand out, cupping my cheek gently. My heart skipped a beat and the electricity flowing through his fingertips ran right through me, travelling down my spine making me shiver slightly. “You do have beautiful eyes.”
“Thanks,” I answered shyly. “Why not tell me something about you instead of making this all about me and my issues?”
He removed his hand, going to pick up his glass for another drink. “Sure, ask me anything, I’m an open book.” A cheeky smile beamed across his face.
I placed a finger to my chin as though I was thinking of a good hard question to put to him. “Sooo…do you have any siblings?”
“I thought your question would be a tough one judging by your face,” he laughed, but continued, “I have an older half-brother who I never see and a younger sister who’s travelling around Europe at the moment. Lucky girl!”
“A half-brother?” I queried.
“Yeah, Mom got pregnant when she was eighteen. The father left her, and she didn’t have the support of her family because she fell pregnant out of wedlock.” He stopped, taking a deep breath, the look on his face was one of concern and possible torment. “After she had him, she put him up for adoption. She never knew what became of him until he showed up on our doorstep three years ago and let me just say he was not nice.”
My hand covered my mouth. “How can someone be so cruel when he doesn’t even know the reason for her putting him up for adoption?”
“I know, and she explained it to him, but he was still angry and left. We haven’t heard from him since.”
“Wow, that’s harsh.” I felt sorry for his mum and how difficult it would’ve been for her to even consider putting a baby up. “I’m aware it must’ve been hard for your mum, but I know I could never put my own child up for adoption. No matter what.” I felt so strong about this. I guess that was just me and my own personal opinion, though.
I watched Blake as he nodded his agreement. “I would never allow any woman I was with to give up our baby.”
It had fallen silent between us before he spoke again. “So, are you ready to answer my first question?” He was hesitant and unsure.
I wanted to answer it I really did and be able to talk to someone about my problems. I released a huge loud sigh. “I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried to leave before and he promises to change and I fall for it every single time.” A lump formed in my throat as the words left my lips. This was the first time that I’d opened up to anyone and it was freaking me out. My body was vibrating because I was shaking so much, and could feel my hands clamming up.
Blake moved closer, wrapped his arm around me, and I fell into him, his warmth surrounding me like a heated blanket. A calmness slowly washed over me. Being in Blake’s arms gave me a sense of safety. I didn’t understand how it was possible. He made me feel all these emotions after only meeting him twice. Perhaps it was just the fact that he was showing me what I didn’t have, and I was craving the nurturing aspect which was lacking in my life at that time.
“It’s okay, Abby. I’m here whenever you want to talk. If it’s not right now, then that’s okay,” he said as his hand rubbed my arm causing goose bumps to rise on my skin.
I rested my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes taking in the moment. “Why couldn’t I have met you earlier?” I asked before I could stop myself. I heard a slight sigh as his arm tightened around me.