Matt's dark eyes stared into his. After a moment of thought, he said, “Would you be my own dad?"
“Yes, I would."
His forehead scrunched up. “Would you leave, too?"
Jared shook his head. “No. I won't ever leave you or your mom."
Matt considered this for a moment. He cracked a grin that spread from ear-to-ear. “You know what?"
“What?” Jared asked.
“You think Santa reads heads?"
Jared fought a smile and tried to look serious. “I never thought about it. What do you mean?"
“When I asked Santa for a new dad, you was in my head. I wanted you for my dad."
Jared coughed to clear the lump in his throat. “I don't know if Santa reads heads, but I know he reads what's in your heart."
Matt nodded. “I think so, too."
“Let's tell your mother and Grandma that it's okay with you if I become your dad."
Matt clapped his hands, his eyes sparked with excitement.
“We have a lot to celebrate this Christmas.” Jared released Matt and stood up. “After we talk to them, we'll all go out to dinner, before we take a long ride and look at the lights."
Matt placed his little hand inside Jared's bigger one. “Mr. Randall, I never really knew my other dad. I told all my friends I was getting a new dad for Christmas, but they laughed at me. Can I call you ‘Dad’ so they'll believe me?"
“Yes,” he whispered, bending and hugging Matt.
When the boy's arms clung to Jared's neck, tears gathered in the corners of his eyes. He knew he'd do anything for his son.
“I don't want to talk to my mother about Thomas today. I'll do it Monday,” Katherine said.
Jared turned her away from him and pushed her gently toward the kitchen door. She let him propel her as far as the doorframe but dug in her heels and stopped. She peeked at her mother, who sat at the table drinking her Sunday morning coffee. “I can't believe I promised to talk to my mother about you-know-what,” she whispered over her shoulder to Jared.
He chuckled. “Oh, great. You can't even say the word ‘sex’ in Grace's home."
Katherine slapped his arm. “Shhh. She'll hear you."
“Cluck, cluck, cluck. Okay, chicken, I'm taking Matt to shop and eat lunch. Remember Thomas is coming over at one o'clock. That's two hours from now. You have a lot to get settled before then.” Jared bent and gave her a heart-stopping kiss. When he pulled away, he winked. “Good luck."
“I can't believe I'm doing this,” she said to herself as Jared headed for the front door and she walked into the kitchen.
“Did you say something, dear?” her mother asked, looking up.
“I think I'll join you.” Katherine poured a cup of coffee and sat beside her mother. She looked at her mother blankly, running over Jared's words in her mind.
I'll do it my way.
“Did Matt and Jared leave?” her mother asked.
“Yes. They went to buy more wrapping paper and look around the mall for awhile."
“Jared's so good with Matt. You don't think Jared got mad at me yesterday, do you?"
Katherine chuckled. “You mean when you took credit for Jared and me getting married?” She shook her head. “No. However, he was a little surprised to hear the entire neighborhood was in on the matchmaking, too. They maneuvered us under that mistletoe."
Her mother blushed and laughed.
It's now or never.
Katherine sipped her coffee. “Have you seen Thomas lately?"
Great, that's real subtle.
Her mother's back straightened and she frowned. “No, and I don't plan on seeing him."
Okay. Torpedoes away!
“Why did you tell Thomas that I didn't approve of your seeing him?"
Her mother's eyes rounded. “Did he tell you that?"
Katherine pursed her lips. “Noooo. And stop avoiding my question."
Her mother ran her finger over the rim of her cup. “I thought you might think it was too soon for me to date anyone."
Katherine hoped that was all there was to it, but she doubted it. “You and Thomas have known each other for over four years. You shared a lot of pain together.” Katherine shook her head. “It isn't too soon."
Her mother's chin quivered. “Your father-"
“Would want you to be happy, Mom. You had a beautiful marriage, but Dad wouldn't want you looking at the past and clinging to it. He would want you smiling and running ahead to the future."
“I can't.” She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
Katherine grabbed a handful of tissues, handed them to her mother and hugged her. “Why can't you? What are you afraid of?"
“Lots of things."
Katherine took a deep breath. “Okay, name them."
“It isn't that easy. You don't know what it's like to live with a man for thirty-four years and see him die from cancer.” She twisted the tissues in her hand and sniffled. “A part of me died watching him suffer,” she whispered.
Katherine's eyes welled with tears. “I loved him for thirty-one years, still do. I think you're like me, afraid of getting hurt again."
Her mother nodded and tried to take a sip of coffee, but her hand shook so badly she set the cup back down. “I don't want to go through that again. I can't."
Katherine leaned closer. “Mom, do you love Thomas?"
Her mother wiped tears away and looked up. “Yes, I do."
Katherine smiled. “Don't you see? The only thing you'll be stopping is the joy of loving him however much time God gives you on this earth. You can't control the rest. Love him like tomorrow might not come, that's all any of us can do."
Her mother sniffed. “How'd you get so smart?"
Katherine hugged her. “I had a good teacher."
Her mother blew her nose and wiped her eyes. “I know you're right. I love him and even if he was on the moon, I'd hurt if anything happened to him."
Katherine heard a ‘but’ in her mother's reply. “Okay, out with it. What else is stopping you?"
Her mother blushed. “Katherine, I can't talk about it."
I'm going to have to talk to my mother about sex.
Katherine rolled her eyes. “Is it sex?” she blurted out.
Her mother gasped and her cheeks turned red. “Katherine Marisa Cahill, this is not something a mother wants to discuss with her daughter."
Katherine stood up, refilled her cup with coffee for herself, and then sat back down. “You aren't discussing it with your daughter. You're discussing it with another woman. One who's as stubborn as you, so talk."
Her mother blushed again and lowered her gaze to the table. “I've only been with one man. I don't know if I can please Thomas. I'm scared. Can you understand that?"
Katherine smiled. “Yes. I had the same insecurities, but you love him and you're going to have to face your fears."
Her mother nodded and blushed.
“At one o'clock, Thomas is coming here to pick you up. Talk to him. Share with him what you shared with me. You might find out that you have some of the same concerns."
Her mother smiled and put her arms around Katherine.
It was six o'clock and her mother hadn't returned. Katherine smoothed chocolate frosting on the cake she had baked. Matt sat at the table licking the beaters and smacking his lips.
“You put peanut butter in it, too. It's good,” Matt said taking a sip of milk.
After Katherine put the dirty dishes in the sink, she ruffled Matt's hair.
She glanced up to see her embarrassed mother and an ecstatic Thomas enter the kitchen. He held onto her mother's arm as they approached Katherine.