As noted earlier, a job in Japan is not merely a contractual arrangement for pay. It is a source of identification with a larger entity—a satisfying sense of being part of something big and significant. Naturally, wa (concord) is most important in this cohesive environment. If anyone violates the harmony of the group by beating his own drum too loudly, he will be excluded. Nobody can be a star in the Japanese organization.
Tactfully Communicate No Without Saying No
It is often said among foreigners that Japanese people avoid saying yes or no directly. They may understand that a person is having some difficulty answering in absolute terms and is trying to hedge and do his best to avoid giving a clear answer. They regret such an indecisive attitude. But actually the Japanese say yes very often. It is a common word in conversation. When a Japanese avoids saying yes or no clearly, it is most likely that he wishes to say no.
Then why does he hesitate to say no? Because it would hurt the feelings of those who live together with him in the close-knit vertical society. Saying no to someone else's request is usually considered rude, impolite, and uncivilized. And saying no to the requests of superiors or visitors is completely taboo. Therefore, one has to be tactful and diplomatic in conveying a negative message and must express it in an indirect and civilized manner. Foreign businessmen who do not understand this Japanese custom, or who cannot say no diplomatically at meetings or negotiation tables, are usually condemned to a bitter and costly defeat—in terms of outright rejection of their proposal, unfulfilled work orders, postponement, and so on.
The success of both the organization man and the independent businessman depends on how tactfully they can communicate no without saying it. So if you wish to be successful in Japan, you should learn some popular ways of insinuating no without coming right out and saying it. Then you will be able to meet the Japanese businessman on his own terms.
One highly recommended approach is to understand the other party's intention and show your appreciation before you convey your negative response. For example:
"I fully understand your cordial proposition (or your particular proposal), but unfortunately I am in a different position from you and I can't help seeing the matter in another light."
Here the tone is sympathetic or halfway affirmative throughout—a far better approach than merely saying, "No, I can't agree with you." Never say no directly. It will have an undesirable echo.
Another way to avoid an outright refusal is to say, "I will consider it" or "Let me think it over." These are the words the merchants in Osaka traditionally use to imply that they cannot accept your proposal but will reconsider it if you fill the gap between them and you and come back with a better offer. The phrase "I will consider it" is actually an opening for you to adjust your proposal. It is strictly up to you to follow through or not. Such a postponement of a decision is tantamount to saying no—or perhaps, "No, but try me again."
A third approach, if you are good at humor, is to joke about the subject and laugh it off as an unimportant matter. If you can tactfully pass the whole subject off as a joke, the other party will accept your response as a no because you are not taking the matter seriously. But do it gracefully. Black humor or a tasteless joke will undo the good relationship you have established.
A fourth approach is to say, "It's a bit difficult." Chotto (a bit) is a significant word in Japanese business conversations and often really means "a great deal." It implies that the proposal poses great difficulty for the businessman, but he doesn't want to be embarrassed by confessing his inability to accept. This is a typical way of saving kao (face, or pride) in Japan and at the same time of avoiding a direct no.
The final technique is to scratch your head and emit a long drawn-out "Saaaah," which translates as "I don't know" or "I really can't agree with you."
Pick the Right Habatsu (Clique) and Stay in Touch with It
In the preceding chapter, I mentioned that nepotism plays a part in the basic recruitment process. A Japanese organization is manipulated to a surprising degree by this kind of informal relationship. Known as the oyabun-kobun, or parent-child relationship, it is an explicitly recognized set of reciprocal obligations between senior and junior members of a company. This informal relationship survives strongly between older and younger, superior and subordinate, and often has a heavy component of paternalism. The kinship-like ties between oyabun and kobun are quite strong and extend beyond formal organizational lines.
For example, an oyabun feels more responsible for the well-being and career progress of his kobun than a department manager feels for the progress of his workers. His kobun are not necessarily within his department—his sense of responsibility goes far beyond sectional and departmental borders and even extends outside the work situation. Internal problems, informal instructions, organizational maneuvering, quarrels on a personal level, secrets of personnel administration—all these are taken care of between oyabun and kobun. Their mutual support has been and remains an important part of Japanese organizational life. Of course, the more kobun an oyabun has, the stronger he will be in the organization; and the more powerful he is, the more likely that his kobun will gain higher posts in the organization.
As described earlier, bright young men are recruited from a limited number of universities, which means in practice that the same annual group, on entry into the company, has usually had some previous close contact with a particular senior member of the company. In addition, graduates of the same university often become familiar with and closely associated with each other. This intimacy is maintained and developed in the company through parties, sports, and other informal activities. On the basis of such common background and interests, distinct cliques, or habatsu, develop that play a very important, though informal, part in career progress and success.
Employees who do not belong to any clique are overshadowed and are apt to fall off the escalator on the way to moving up from lower to higher positions. To succeed, therefore, you must be part of a clique which can look after your career progress. If possible, get into a large, powerful clique connected with the top executive who seems to have the most pull in the organization. The role of a senior member of the organization in these cliques is called hiki (pull or patronage). You need his pull for your advancement and he needs your support to strengthen his position. You can't achieve anything alone. There is no "do it yourself-ism" in the Japanese organization. Choose your clique carefully—pick the group that is most likely to bring you success—and stay in direct, personal contact with it at all times. Your allegiance will be very much appreciated.
Don't Be Afraid of Making Mistakes