Bella came around the side of the bed and stood facing him. “I know you’re not a drinker,” she said. “You musta had a reason for getting drunk. Come on, let’s have it. What happened last night?”
“Nothing.”
“I’ll bet.” She snorted. And then, her eyes narrowed, “I found you stretched out in the hall outside Lola’s room. You were stiff as a board.”
“So what?”
“So it made me curious. You wouldn’t get loaded like that unless you had something on your mind. Something you couldn’t handle.”
He looked at her. “What gives you that idea?”
“I just know, that’s all. I know you.”
His eyes were dull, gazing past her. “You think you know me.”
She stood there studying his face. She said, “I took the trouble to drag you in here and take your clothes off and put you in bed.”
“Thanks,” he said sourly. “Thanks a lot.”
“I didn’t do it for thanks. I did it so I’d be around when you come out of it. We got some things to talk about. I wanna know the score on this. I got a right to know.”
He frowned at her. “You got one hell of a crust, that’s what you got. I didn’t ask you to put me in this room.”
“It ain’t the first time you been here. You been in this room a lotta times. More times than I can count. And I never dragged you in, either. You always come in on your own two feet.”
He took a deep breath. He started to get up from the bed and she pushed him back. She did it roughly and he bounced on the mattress. He made another attempt to get up and she pushed him again, harder this time. His head went back against the pillow. It felt like iron banging his skull. He told himself to close his eyes and go to sleep. His benumbed brain said, Forget about her, forget about everything, just go to sleep.
But then she was leaning over him, shaking him. She said, “Come on, come out of it.”
“Goddamnit, leave me alone.”
He shut his eyes tightly and tried to roll over on his side but she pulled at his shoulder and wouldn’t let him do it. He mumbled an oath and reached out blindly to shove her away, and as his hand made contact with Bella, a current passed through him from her to him, from him to her, and he was aching to hold on, hold her tighter, pull her to him and find her lips and taste her mouth. But just then he heard the soundless voice that said, No.
It was a blast of icy realization that sliced through the heat of his senses and the thick mist of the hangover. He moved spasmodically to the other side of the bed, then sat up stiffly, staring at her. Ice was in his eyes as he said, “Keep away from me.”
She sat there on the other side of the bed. She didn’t say anything. She just looked at him.
He said, “And put something on.”
She smiled thinly. “Does it bother you?”
He clamped his lips tightly. He turned his head so he wouldn’t see her.
Her voice was a light jab, flicking at him. “It excites you, don’t it? You don’t want it to excite you.”
“Listen, Bella—”
“Yes?”
But he couldn’t take it from there. He swallowed hard.
She said, “Well, go on. I’m listening.”
He told himself he’d have to say it sooner or later. He might as well say it now and get it over with. For a moment his eyes were closed and he was trying to find the words. And then, gazing straight ahead and seeing the wall on the other side of the room, he said, “It’s all finished. We gotta call it quits.”
He waited for her to say something.
Long moments passed. There was no sound in the room.
He went on gazing at the opposite wall. Finally he said, “Last night I got married.”
“You what?”
“Got married.”
“You joking?”
“No.”
There was another long pause. When she spoke again, her voice sounded queer, sort of strangled. “Where’d you pull this caper?”
“At the Greek’s place,” he said. He spoke tonelessly. “Bought a license. She signed her name to it. I signed my name. I put a ring on her finger.”
“The girl I seen you with? That floozie from uptown?”
“Yeah.” He sighed heavily. He wondered if there was anything else to say.
He heard Bella saying, “Tell me how it happened.”
“It happened, that’s all. It just happened.”
“You know what you’re saying?”
He nodded again.
Bella said, “Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m hearing things.” She stood up. She sat down. She stood up again. She began to walk back and forth along the length of the bed. Finally she stopped, and with both hands she gripped the bedpost, as though to steady herself. Then, biting her lip, her eyes shut tightly, she made a sound as though she were feeling intense physical pain.
He rubbed his knuckles across his brow. He wondered what caused him to stay in this room when there was every reason to walk out.
“Can’t believe it,” Bella said aloud to herself. “It just ain’t possible.” And then her tone changed, there was pleading in her voice. “Didja know what you were doing? You couldn’t have known. After all, you were drunk.”
“No,” he said gruffly. “I got drunk later.”
“With her?”
“Yeah,” he said. “We were celebrating.”
“Where?” Her hands tightened on the bedpost.
“What difference does it make?”
“I’m askin’ you something. Where’d you do the celebrating? Was it in a hotel room?”
He shook his head. Again he gave a heavy sigh. He said, “We went to Dugan’s Den.”
“Then where’d you go?”
His jaw hardened. “All right,” he muttered, “let’s drop the questions.”
“You’ll sit there and answer them. You’ll tell me where you went after you left Dugan’s Den.”
He turned and frowned at her. “What’re you getting at?”
She wasn’t looking at him. Her voice was a grinding whisper. “You know what I’m getting at. You’ve told me about the license and the ring. And the celebration. Now I want to hear the rest of it. I want to know all about the wedding night.”
He aimed the frown at the floor. “We didn’t do anything, if that’s what you mean.”
She let go of the bedpost. She breathed in and out and it was almost like a sigh of relief. The corners of her mouth moved up just a trifle, starting to build a smile.
Kerrigan went on frowning. He heard himself saying, “The way it happened, we walked out of Dugan’s and she had her car parked outside and we climbed in. She drove me back here and she helped me into the house. Then she was sitting on the sofa and I was moving around, I didn’t know where the hell I was going. Went down the hall and got the rooms mixed up and landed in the wrong bed.”
“You weren’t as mixed up as you thought you were,” Bella said. She had the smile fully glowing in her eyes. “You were on your way to the right bed. You’re in it now.”
He stared at her. She was moving toward him, coming slowly across the room. He told himself to get up but somehow he couldn’t lift his limbs. As he watched Bella approaching, it was like a wall closing in on him.
She was saying, “Don’t you see the way it is? Last night was just a joke, it wasn’t for real, and you know it. Whatever it was that made you do it, we’ll check that off, it ain’t important. Only one thing matters. You’re here with me.”
“No,” he said. “No.”
Her smile widened and brightened and she said, “You don’t mean that. You mean yes.”
“Now wait.” And his hand was lifted, telling her to stay away.